Life is doing a Loopty Loop - advice please

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

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HobokensFury · January 2013

Can you guys split the difference? Rent your home and get an apartment in the middle? That way you're not paying a rent and a morgage and you can life together.

pegasuskat · January 2013

If its that great of an opportunity, I wouldn't pass it up. But don't make a long term decision quickly about the house either. I would get him settled somewhere temp. in the new place and work on looking for a job in the new area, if you can find one with similar pay as you currently have I would take it and rent out my house. Even if you take a small loss on your morgage I would do it and rent something small together in the new area. But I would live seperate for awhile while working out the details.

cwaggoner07 · January 2013

My parents have lived 'apart' for 5 years. She has an apartment in Dallas during the week, and drives 2 hours back home for the weekend. Some weeks when my dad isn't working (he's self-employed), he will spend the week with her.

We are also doing something KIND OF similar. H works in the film industry, but we have heavy roots here in Texas. Right now he's on a 16 week tv show in Los Angeles, and it's my busy season at work, so I can't go visit until after April 15. To me, nothing is worth him being unhappy in his job, especially since I have seen what a change it has been for him to completely switch careers. At some point, we may move out to Cali, but for now, this is what works best for us.

I don't know if that helps, but I do understand what you're going through.

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

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QueerFemme · January 2013

I know this is probably not ideal, but have you considered doing a short sale and walking away from the house? Your credit WILL take a huge hit, but sometimes, that is a better option than throwing money away for 5-10 years hoping the market will turn around. And trust me, in some markets, a 5 year turnaround is a pipe dream. If you talk to your lender, they may be willing to do a short sale. A short sale will still hurt your credit, but not as bad as a foreclosure.

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

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mcda04 · January 2013

My H turned down a job offer that would be a little over 2 hr. commute. He let it go because we have two kids and he said he wouldn't be happy not seeing them everyday. I told him it was a good opportunity but couldn't convince him to take it.

Our option was for him to take the train and shorten the distance but we didn't have a local Amtrak and I would have to drop him off at 4am to make work at 6:30am and he'd get back home at around 6-7pm. The whole idea was exhausting and not something we wanted to do. We also considered me staying home with the kids but Lord knows I'm not cut out to be a stay at home. My respects to all the women who are homemakers.

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

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LifeisSweeter · January 2013

Have you tried getting a loan modification through your bank? You could potentially use the job change as a hardship and get the payment down to a more reasonable level to rent it out in the future. Or try the loan mod if you move and are unable to find a renter/don't pay the mortgage for a month or two. As far as not wanting a renter to damage the property - make the security deposit high enough that you'd be covered and try and find someone that you at least know through someone else, so you can potentially weed out flakes.

I've been going through a short sale (to get away from my ex) for 14 months, so I know it is no fun, but the place was worth half of what we financed and keeping it was not an option.

J&K10910 · January 2013

I think you need to take a good hard look at how much money you'd actually be saving by maintaining two residences. I would set up a meeting with your lender to run the numbers and figure out what your best option is.

Is there another city nearby or in the middle you could find a job in? Is finding a place to live in the middle and both commuting an option?

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

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Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

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Life is doing a Loopty Loop - advice please

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