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I kept my old married name...what to put on invites?

crunchygranolacrunchygranola
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
 I was married previously for 10 years. When I got divorced I kept my former husband's last name because I have had it so long and really did not want to hassle with changing all my ID's and stuff since I knew I was going to end up marrying my boyfriend eventually anyway. The time as come and I am getting ready to make invitations. 

 It seems tacky to use my ex-husband's last name on a wedding invitation even though that is the name I use and everyone knows me by. I am thinking of just using first names since it is a very small wedding with only close family and VERY close friends. If they do not know who we are with out our last names on the invite there is an issue. I would feel weird using my maiden name since I have not used it in ages. 
 
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Re: I kept my old married name...what to put on invites?

  • kaos16kaos16 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-kept-my-old-married-namewhat-to-put-on-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1016af3e-05e0-4538-94f4-06c1a50edf8dPost:99e4b1bf-4b24-4cfb-bcab-21690ad47749">I kept my old married name...what to put on invites?</a>:
    [QUOTE] I was married previously for 10 years. When I got divorced I kept my former husband's last name because I have had it so long and really did not want to hassle with changing all my ID's and stuff since I knew I was going to end up marrying my boyfriend eventually anyway. The time as come and I am getting ready to make invitations.   It seems tacky to use my ex-husband's last name on a wedding invitation even though that is the name I use and everyone knows me by. I am thinking of just using first names since it is a very small wedding with only close family and VERY close friends. If they do not know who we are with out our last names on the invite there is an issue. I would feel weird using my maiden name since I have not used it in ages.    Opinions?
    Posted by crunchygranola[/QUOTE]

    If you choose to use a last name on your invitation, you should really use your legal name.  If you legally changed your name to your ex-husband's and never legally changed it back, that is your name. 
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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    But it's your last name.  I wouldn't see the invite being tacky if it included your last name on it just because its also the last name of your ex-husband.  However, if your guest list is truly small and everyone who receives the invite will know it's you and FI, I think its fine to just use your first names.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment
    First & middle names tend to sound a bit more formal if you are not using last names and having a formal affair.
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    It is your legal name - use it.  My mom never changed her name back after she divorced my dad, and kept it until she was remarried.  I would have found it very strange if she reverted back to her maiden name for the wedding invitations, as it wasn't her name anymore.
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  • jennylee813jennylee813 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I didn't change my name back after my divorce either, and will use my current name on the invites. I didn't want to change back because of the kids being younger and figured it was just easier for them if I had the same name as them. They're older now and understand what's going on.

    People know you and know that you're divorced but didn't change your name. I'd feel more weird about keeping it after I remarry (which I won't, of course)!
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  • DeannaCWDeannaCW member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I agree with PP, you could always use middle names instead of last. Gives it a nice formal feeling
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  • renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_i-kept-my-old-married-namewhat-to-put-on-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:1016af3e-05e0-4538-94f4-06c1a50edf8dPost:e803cf5b-919e-4cd1-90a4-ad4e28b301c6">Re: I kept my old married name...what to put on invites?</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's not just your ex's name. It's just as much your name. I'd use it on your invites. 
    Posted by HoorayForSoup[/QUOTE]

    This.  You're a human being, not your ex-husband's accessory.
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  • mmmendimmmendi
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I was married 16 years, and kept his name because of our children. I even asked if he minded if I did not revert to my maiden name. I am looking very forward to taking on my FI's name, and still didn't think anything of using my current name on our invitations.
    ~~Mendi~~ ...Everyone has their price; mine's chocolate Photobucket
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  • loca4pookloca4pook member
    First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    It's your name, stick with it.
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  • divinemsbeedivinemsbee member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Use it if you want. My mom is actually re-married and still goes by my dad's last name. She never changed it after the divorce (I think, as with others, it was because she wanted to have the same last name as us kids) and she just never legally changed it again after she re-married. I suppose it's been her name for over 30 years--almost half her life, and she just has no interest in being anything else. 
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  • crunchygranolacrunchygranola
    First Comment
     Thanks everyone. I am glad to know I had one of the strangest questions in awhile :)
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