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July 2012 Weddings

How to nicely reject an online RSVP?

Due to our budget constraints we were only able to invite 70 friends and family, and we've made it clear all over the place, in person, in text, on Facebook, and on our website that we apologize that we can't invite everyone.

Lo and behold I'm surprised this morning to receive an email saying that someone had RSVPed on our website. I look it up and see a name of someone I wouldn't have invited even if I had the money. So how do I gently or nicely let him know that there's no way he can come to the wedding? Any ideas on how to prevent this thing in the future? I'm also concerned about this guy and his punk group of friends trying to crash the wedding, any tips on how to deal with that too? Thanks in advance!
image 82 Invited image 64 Confirmed image 14 Declined image 4 Who Knows?
RSVP Date: June 20th Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: How to nicely reject an online RSVP?

  • oh my gosh....what a pain! Do you think this guy did it as a weird joke or something? If he is such an odd ball that you are worried about him crashing your wedding, maybe he wasn't serious? I would think that most people out there would have the common sense not to RSVP to something they were not invited to...

    I think a nice email to him explaining that you appreciate his effort to RSVP, but unfortunately your guest list is limited only to family and bridal party and family friends is all you can really do...
  • penny12986penny12986 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited April 2012
    Did this person receive a formal invitation?

    *nevermind. re-read it, sorry!  How did he get the address for your wedding website?
  • How was he able to RSVP without an invitation to begin with? 
     We are not doing online RSVPs, so Im a little confused as to how this all works....
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  • edited April 2012
    I'm curious to know how he got your wedding website address?

    How were your invites sent? How would he have known how to RSVP without an actual invite? If your invite was sent via e-mail, then someone could have forwarded it to him.

    This is a nice lesson to others to avoid online invites and/or RSVPing. This type of thing is a lot less likely to happen with traditional snail-mail invites/RSVPs. I'd just call him and tell him there has been a misunderstanding and that you're limited to only family & close friends for the wedding.
    image

    Anxiously awaiting baby #1! Baby BOY Due: May 30, 2013! Lilypie Maternity tickers

  • Ditto what mbody said on all counts.

    And honestly, why do you need to be "nice" about telling him he's not invited if you're worried about him and his "punk friends" showing up even despite being told they're not invited? I would ask him flat out how he got your website information so that you can stop this from happening in the future and/or tell your guests that they can't forward the invite along to others . . .
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  • That is pretty strange sounding.  Is the website set up to allow online RSVPs? I agree with PP's that you should call him and say unfortunately he is not invited due to size restraints and leave it at that.

    Anniversary
  • That's so strange...and I don't think you need to be polite if you're positive there's no way he received an invite. Sounds like he might just be a jerk messing around.
    image Anniversary
  • edited April 2012
    I don't get it? On our RSVP website you have to enter your name and if your name isn't on our list you can't RSVP. You might want to do something like that to prevent this from happening again. 

    Unfortunately, you have to call them and tell them there must be some mistake because they weren't invited.
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  • edited April 2012

    First, contact him via e-mail or phone and let him know that your wedding is invitation only. You don't have to justify if your wedding is small or not. I'm having 250 people and I still wouldn't tolerate this nonsense.

    Second, If you think he will crash your wedding you can have assigned seating. No invitation = no seat! Or have a hostess at your reception checking the guest list.

    ETA: There were many uninvited people that saw our wedding website because we put it on our STD magnets. So anyone that visited the home of our guests saw it.

    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • In Response to Re: How to nicely reject an online RSVP?:
    I don't get it? On our RSVP website you have to enter your name and if your name isn't on our list you can't RSVP. You might want to do something like that to prevent this from happening again.  Unfortunately, you have to call them and tell them there must be some mistake because they weren't invited.
    Posted by MeaganR12
    Yeah my website works the same way. If you're not on the list, you can't RSVP. I also would consider putting a password on your website and email everyone if you already sent invites. This is exactly why I put a password on mine. Sorry you're dealing with this! Geez.. people are nuts!
  • Thanks ladies, I've removed the RSVP section of the website, the only reason I had it up was for our tech savvy and eco-friendly friends that prefer websites as opposed to paper RSVPs. I think he found it was through my FI's Facebook page. He shared it so some family that can't make it could see the website and apparently this person took it as an open invite even though it said, "DO NOT RSVP UNLESS YOU HAVE RECEIVED AN INVITATION" on the RSVP page. I think he's doing it to be a jerk and to make it out to be a big deal to a community theater group we all belong to. My wedding planner/friend has decided to deal with it since she knows him personally, and she says she'll make it very clear to him that he's not invited. She also plans on having a list of guests at the wedding so we can avoid any crashers. Hopefully I won't have to deal with anymore shenanigans like this, haha.
    image 82 Invited image 64 Confirmed image 14 Declined image 4 Who Knows?
    RSVP Date: June 20th Wedding Countdown Ticker
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