My FMIL has actually been wonderful during our wedding planning process thus far. Her and FFIL have generously offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner, but she asked me to plan it. She gave me a price range and I sent her a sample menu and a price quote today. She requested some changes to the food (which I'm totally cool with, that's why I sent her the menu) and she asked me how many were invited.
I told her 18 because that's parents + bridal party + bridal party SO's + JOP. She emailed me back questioning the inclusion of dates and stating that her other son had invited just parent and bridal party. I emailed her back explaining that etiquette requires that social units be invited together. She email's me back suggesting that we ask her other son who he invited. I genuinely thought SO's had been at their rehearsal dinner and I said as much. She emailed me back asserting that the MOH's husband had been at the pool during RD and that he had eaten alone.
At this point I'm getting irritated. Her son did a number of rude things including a cash bar, lack of ceremony seating and lack of thank you notes and I'm not using him as a basis for our wedding. I emailed her back (trying to remain polite) and explained that our bridal party is coming a day early, is paying for 2 nights hotel accomodations and that I wouldn't feel comfortable telling their romantic partners to go find their own food. She replies back "I’m sure FFIL and I can accommodate a few more if that is what you both want!"
Which I guess I should be happy with. But, maybe I'm reading between the lines here, but I feel like the "both want" remarks is suggesting that I'm being bridezilla and she thinks my fiance would be fine with not inviting SO's. I'm not even going to bring it up again. I would rather pay for RD ourselves then tell SO's that they have to go feed themselves. But I don't think it will come to that. The whole exchange just rubbed me the wrong way though and I feel kinda irritated now.
