How involved is your FI in planning?

SewInLoveWithDMB · April 2013

Just curious.

Mine is moderately involved to very involved. He had a lot of input on things such as date, venue location, menu, registries, cake flavors - but also agreed with other things that I had chosen/liked as well.

Is any FI basically planning the entire event? Are others not involved at all?

shaylagirl · April 2013

Mine stumbled into the venue that I ended up selecting (he couldn't make the appointment, so he hasn't seen it in person yet, but my parents booked the venue after saying "YES! This place is PERFECT!"). Much beyond that he hasn't much said anything except he wants pictures of us with his Harley. *sigh* At LEAST I talked him out of the original idea of us riding off on it. That was a disaster waiting to happen!

He did go to the tuxedo place Saturday just to talk to the owner about what would look best on him, and to look at color swatches (I know it's frowned upon, but he likes the idea of a colored vest and tie, and I'm not telling him "No"). He also is the one who I've put in charge of handling his pastor. It's important to him to be married by his pastor, he can do the leg-work.

Mostly I run things by him before I spend money to see if he has a positive or negative reaction, but, since this is his second marriage, but my first, he understands that it's important to me to try and create my vision.

Plus, he's just grateful I'm not dressing him and his son up in shades of fuschia and hot pink or some other color he would find embarassing for his tough guy image.

libby18bell · April 2013

My FI is heavily involved in some things and then not so much in others. He took lead on the website, STD, invitations and honeymoon. I took lead on decor, style and food. FI just picked the meal he wanted and then left it to me to pick what the other options were. I guess we balance pretty well.

[Deleted User] · April 2013

Um... I guess moderately? Though basically, I've come up with general ideas, or do the leg-work for suggestions, and narrow down the options. I'll send him my top 3 or 4, and he'll say "I like that one". And, unless that's my least favorite, we go with it. (Honestly, that hasn't happened, so... yay.) I suggested colors, he said okay. I said, "here, what about this?" "Sounds good." He'll throw in ideas too, and I'll try to incorporate them.

He had a bit of sway in my dress too - though he doesn't know that 100% yet. He "banned" me from a super huge poofy dress, and the extreme mermaid style.

libby18bell · April 2013

Lpions, FI is very similar to that. I give him a few ideas and he just responds with sounds good.

09McSteph03 · April 2013

Hm. I am planning a wedding FI will attend. He told me what he wanted a say in so he gets to work on those things and run them by me. I work out all the rest and run it by him.

BTW - before posting this, I ran my statement by him. He says my full, sworn statement is accurate.

LeslynA · April 2013

FI was not that involved in the beginning. 2 of his other friends are getting married before us and now that they are talking about their weddings. It has been motivation for him to participate some more

beachbum7212 · April 2013

FI has been very involved, I keep feeling his forehead to make sure he's alright.... He picked out our save the dates, has been actively searching for his/groomsmen attire, suggested our venue, and it was his idea to have my dad as our officiant. I did show him my idea for center pieces and got an eye roll, so I guess that means I'm on my own there

millersox2184 · April 2013

My FI has been involved in picking the venue, the food, honeymoon and his tux. He also wants to wear a colored vest and tie so I am not going to tell him no. I also ask for his input in everything even though I usually get the same answer, "that's nice". He always tells me that I know more about decorating for weddings then he does so I guess that's a good enough excuse. My wedding is mostly DIY so I love to drag him to the craft stores with me, he really loves it!! (not so much...lol)

SimplyME22 · April 2013

FI wants to be involved, but there are some things where he'll give his opinion, but doesn't really care either way like the colors or the reception decor. I'm somewhat of a control-freak sometimes, so I'm learning to give in and let him help- he did all of the DJ research, contacting and setting up appts. He's also taking care of the tuxes, transportation and a few other things.

He already requested either keylime or smores for our cake, he wanted mac n' cheese as a side option, the boy's more concerned with our food I think....

thejucheidea · April 2013

He has absolutely no involvement whatsoever, and that's his choice. The only thing he's done is choose his side of the wedding party.

Ro041 · April 2013

Hmmm. FI isn't too involved at all. I pick everything and run it by him before I write the check. He basically tells me what he wants or doesn't want and I execute. For example, he said he wanted transportation between ceremony and reception and it was my job to figure it out. I found all the options and presented them to him and we chose one together. Then I wrote the check.

formerlyCooper · April 2013

My FI is moderately involved in the planning after initially saying he didn't want much to do with it. I'm glad to have his help because he's taken over projects like designing the invitations, revising the ceremony script and dealing with the rejection calls/emails to vendors that I don't like for whatever reason. He's attended every meeting and given feedback on everything but the flowers.

Stina51286 · April 2013

FI is somewhat involved. He picked the cake flavors, gave opinion on venues and will be picking the tuxes out. Other than that, he said he trusts me and would rather me pick things. He knows the plans/details and says "sure, if you like it."

Its typical for his personality.

Briannasteve · April 2013

mne puts his foot down on the most random things.... most of the time he doesnt want to do any planning, but its the things i think he WOULDNT want anything to do with that he actually does. so odd...

beckyk0385 · April 2013

My FI hasn't had a whole lot to say other than, "We have plenty of time." My MOH has been amazing with helping me stay on track and giving me suggestions. Of course I run it by him. He picked wedding colors, Black and White just like his cows. He also suggested the site for our ceremony. He was very clear from the start that he didn't want to be married in a church. Together we decided on the reception food. I helped him to agree that renting the hall near us was a better idea than a totally outdoor wedding. All it took was bringing up the cost of the tent, chairs ect for him to agree. Cake flavors he hasn't said a whole lot on so we'll have to work on that!

redcoatfollower · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_how-involved-is-your-fi-in-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:edb39729-1b8c-4df5-b2d9-47b8ed0d0a62Post:5e535745-0d4f-4862-b928-90af45b78379">Re: How involved is your FI in planning?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hm. I am planning a wedding FI will attend. He told me what he wanted a say in so he gets to work on those things and run them by me. I work out all the rest and run it by him. BTW - before posting this, I ran my statement by him. He says my full, sworn statement is accurate.
Posted by 09McSteph03[/QUOTE]

This is mine also. :)

archerstar · April 2013

I'd say he's moderately involved. I've done most of the legwork as far as choosing things, mailing the payments and contracts, but he's very interested in seeing what I've chosen and giving his opinion when asked. Thankfully we pretty much agree 100% on most things, like with invites I showed him the ones I liked best and then some less expensive options we could choose from too. I figured he might find the cost of invites kind of ridiculous, but once he saw them all he agreed we "had to have" the first ones. It's kind of funny to see this big guy insisting that we have just the right pink and black invites

The other night he was at a local restaurant with friends and took a look at their function area for our rehearsal and thought I'd really love it. I did and we're going to book it! He also came up with the idea for our favors out of the blue, when I had just about ruled out even having them because I couldn't think of anything useful that was affordable.

How involved is your FI in planning?

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