Military Brides

Bridal shower after wedding

I got married to my husband in January in a wedding that we planned in 5 days. He was back from boot camp for a week to see the birth of our twins and then left for his AIT. We didnt even get 24 hours together as a married couple. That being said, I will be moving in June to his new base and never had an actual bridal shower. My cousin said I should have a bridal shower/going away party/moving party so I can get the things I'll need for our home and everyone can see us before we move over a thousand miles away. Problem is, I plan on having a legit wedding ceremony in 2 years. Should I just forget the actual wedding and do a shower? I have no idea!

Re: Bridal shower after wedding

  • manjermjmanjermj
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited April 2013
    In Response to Bridal shower after wedding:
    I got married to my husband in January in a wedding that we planned in 5 days. He was back from boot camp for a week to see the birth of our twins and then left for his AIT. We didnt even get 24 hours together as a married couple. That being said, I will be moving in June to his new base and never had an actual bridal shower. My cousin said I should have a bridal shower/going away party/moving party so I can get the things I'll need for our home and everyone can see us before we move over a thousand miles away. Problem is, I plan on having a legit wedding ceremony in 2 years. Should I just forget the actual wedding and do a shower? I have no idea!
    Posted by Ktlynndavis
    What about your marriage now isn't legit? You had a wedding, are legally married and are currently receiving all of the benefits a married couple do for the military. 

    And you don't get to pick and choose if/when you have a bridal shower. These things aren't mandatory wedding events. Plus, they are thrown for you, not by you - so if no one offered to throw you a bridal shower before your wedding, unfortunately, that ship has sailed. 

    EDIT: I do want to add that if you have a going away party or a party to celebrate your marriage (that you host and supply food/refreshments) that is totally fine! Just don't ask or expect people to bring gifts. 
  • So you want to have a shower so people can bring you presents because you decided to rush your wedding? Yeah no that sounds like a terrible idea. You can certainly have a going away party but you can't expect gifts. That ship sailed in January. If you need things for your house you probably should have thought of that. It is not your friends or families job to do that, even if you did have a shower. Also, you are married. There is no legit wedding to happen in 2 years. That'll be a vow renewal, also not a gift giving event.
    image
  • You shouldn't plan your own shower, period. As they tell girls on here all the time: a shower is not required but if you have someone nice enough to plan one that's great for you. Really, a shower is a prewedding party anyway so it's kind of odd to be talking point at this time. If your family wants to throw you a going away party and they happen to bring presents to help you out starting your new life, that's on them. I really would not flat out ask for presents though.
    image
  • I wasn't going to respond to the reference to the legit wedding day comment but since others have... Having a big white dress and 100 spectators is not going to make your day feel any more real. I don't know why people put so much emphasis on that. My family wanted a VR after DH and I chose to JOP. We JOP'd because we're low key people and just wanted it to be us. Anyway, I did the VR at my family's request, their excuse being religious reasons. I promise you, it feels like dress up. My JOP was the day my husband and I were married, the day I cried my happy/excited tears, the day I was neevous about how I looked and excited to become my husband's wife, and the day I will remember forever as my wedding day. In the end, our VR just felt like a really fun party which we could have had without all of the fluff my family wanted. In the end you'll do what you feel is necessary for you but I'm just haring my words of wisdom.
    image
  • PS, I'd also change your screen name. You'll have to contact a knot administrator to do that. PERSEC/OPSEC and all that jazz.
    image
  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes BOS, NYC, DC. Forever a city girl
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    What everybody said: 1. Showers are prewedding events. You're married, so no. 2. You can't throw a party for yourself where you expect to get gifts. So, no. 3. You're married. There is no legit event to come. You're done. 4. Your family can give you a going away party.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards