Having guests help pay for the honeymoon?

RamonaFlowers · April 2013

I had no idea that because Wife #1 got an "amazing honeymoon" that automatically entitled you to one, too.

I was 23 when DH and I bought a condo together with nobody's assistance, 25 when we got married at the wedding that we paid for ourselves, and less than a month before the wedding that we realized that we had enough in our savings (That we accumulated with nobody's money but our own) to afford a road trip to Disney World for a few days, so we booked it (And froze the whole time in 30 degree weather, I might add), and had a great time. Yes, we did end up receiving monetary gifts at the wedding, more than enough to cover that honeymoon and then some ... but, as grown ups who knew we were the only ones responsible for paying for our vacations, we knew better than to bank on that happening, so we made plans that we could afford on our own.

Working hard to pay your bills and his first honeymoon being "amazing" doesn't have any effect on what you "deserve" in life. Marriage is for grown ups, and grown ups pay for their own shiz in life. If you want an "amazing" honeymoon because it's what you "dreamed of since you were a little girl", then it's on you and your FI to make that happen. Nobody else.

zitiqueen · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_having-guests-help-pay-for-the-honeymoon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:c4f4dab6-6748-4e26-a5f5-d4a7ba5b3913Post:d91ef671-4d7a-440e-9503-3615d6b18d3b">Re: Having guests help pay for the honeymoon?</a>:
[QUOTE]First of all we are absolutely not 16 and the fact that you would assume something like that because we look a certain way is pretty rude if you'd ask me. Anyway, thank you everyone for the advice (and not the snarky attitudes), I told my fiance to begin with that we probably couldn't just ask for money, he insisted he thought it was a good idea so I thought I'd see what theknot boards were like. Thank you all for showing me what they are like, I'm done here now. :)
Posted by LauraJeanK[/QUOTE]

First of all we is straight-up not 16 n' tha fact dat you would assume suttin' like dat cuz our slick asses look a cold-ass lil certain way is pretty rude if you'd ask mah dirty ass fo' realz. Anyway, fcuk you mah playas fo' tha lyrics (and not tha snarky attitudes), I holla'd at mah fiizzle ta begin wit dat we probably couldn't just ask fo' scrilla, he insisted tha pimpin' muthafucka thought it was a phat scam so I thought I'd peep what tha fcuk theknot boardz was like. Nuff props all fo' showin me what tha fcuk they is like, I be done here now, nahmeean, biatch? WHAT!

jyang721 · June 2013

I've been to two weddings where the couple had honeymoon registries. Most of our friends thought it was a great idea since both couples already had well-established homes and buying them additional household items wouldn't be helpful. One used a site called honeyfund.com and the other used wanderable.com. Both sites broke down the trip as 'gift items' such as "flight to Italy" or a "couple's massage". Even though I knew I was giving cash, I still thought it was cute to choose which part of the honeymoon I was contributing to. There are a few other sites out there and lots of registries on all of them - which shows you how popular they are since supply is obviously motivated by demand.

Kristin789 · June 2013

Get some card stock paper in one of your wedding colors, then print a poem on it and cut it with little scrapbook scissors, and include it with your wedding invitations. Like this:

Traditional wedding gifts are built to last,

Like china, crystal, and heirlooms from the past.

They symbolize the givers' best wishes for the couple:

Long lasting love with very little trouble.

But we don't want old-fashioned symbolic crap.

Instead, we want to get a bigger, better sexfest honeymoon,

And we want you to pay for our rollicking days in bed.

Oh, wait. The rhyming fell apart there at the end. Right about the time that all good taste and privacy and activities that used to be very personal became very public. So you'll either have to fix the rhyme or begin to understand that a newlywed couple's honeymoon is intensely personal, including who pays for it.

sweetart7799 · June 2013

Honeymoon registries are becoming increasingly popular. As the above poster pointed out it breaks the monatary gift down to show the giver what they would be contributing towards. I would recommend having an additional registry for hosehold itmes and such for your guests that would prefer to give tangible items that you will keep in the home as a memory of your wedding. I do not know anyone who would feel this was tacky. I don't think the expectation should be that the full honeymoon would be paid for by your wedding guests. I think contributions could be made to upgrade what you can personally afford and take it to the next level. However it works out, enjoy the time you will have on your honeymoon!

NYCMercedes · June 2013

sweetart7799 said:

Honeymoon registries are becoming increasingly popular. As the above poster pointed out it breaks the monatary gift down to show the giver what they would be contributing towards. I would recommend having an additional registry for hosehold itmes and such for your guests that would prefer to give tangible items that you will keep in the home as a memory of your wedding. I do not know anyone who would feel this was tacky. I don't think the expectation should be that the full honeymoon would be paid for by your wedding guests. I think contributions could be made to upgrade what you can personally afford and take it to the next level. However it works out, enjoy the time you will have on your honeymoon!

Fwiw, I think this is extremely tacky. Anyway you ask people for money is tacky.

Sgreen19 · June 2013

there is such things as honeymoon registries which people can choose to buy you guys a tour or put money towards your honeymoon. but you have a year put $100 a month away to help pay for place an watch selloffvacations.com you can find a good deal as well talk to a travel agent ours don't cost anything to use them but it helps secure and gives you someone to be there for you if something goes wrong

Lored · June 2013

Sgreen, that's what I don't get either. Like all of these couples asking for honeymoon money, you know it's coming. The same way your wedding is coming. These aren't surprise events, you plan them. So why wouldn't one budget the money to go toward that expense??? SMH. SMH lots. SMH again and again. Still not getting it...

sydoch · June 2013

My FI and I also do not need many gifts for the household (not because we don't need it, but because we don't have the space for it right now). We prefer to receive money, but know that asking for it directly can rub people wrong.

Here's how we solved the issue.

-- Get a wedding website (our's is from the Knot ... surprised?).

-- When you go to stores and sign up for wedding registries, give them the same e-mail that was used to create the wedding website. This way, each place you and your FI have registered at will automatically upload a link to your registry. Be sure to double check that the wedding website you choose does this; ours is through the Knot, so that is all we know.

-- go to www.honeyfund.com/WhatsaHoneyfund. This website is wonderfully done, and you can link it to your wedding website so your guests can see what it is you would like to spend (their gift) money on during your honeymoon.

As far as how to answer people when they ask where you are registered, you can simply say that you are registered at a few places (honeyfund is a place online ... not a store) and that they can easily see your registries online at your website. It's an honest answer, and allows them to choose whether to get you a traditional house-hold gift or give you money.

Having guests help pay for the honeymoon?

Re: Having guests help pay for the honeymoon?

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