planning problems! need advice

Re: planning problems! need advice

• Beachy730 member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I actually responded to you on the "Are we right to do this thread" before I saw this. 
  
  To answer this question, I think the 29th would be fine, but I would still get a military clause in your contract.  But I really think you would benefit substantially by waiting a few years, and at least through his first deployment.  Please read my other post to you too.  I'm not trying to be mean or condescending, just speaking from experience.

  

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• jessicanicholefaisstobe member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I completely understand you're not meaning to be condescending, I'll go read it now.

  

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• jessicanicholefaisstobe member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I read your other post. I appreciate your opinion. I know I am young to be getting married. I know that a lot of young marriages do not work out. I have done countless hours of thinking about whether our relationship is strong and mature enough to become marriage and whether I truely believe we are right for eachother.
  
  

  

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• kyrgyzstan member

  

  January 2011 edited December 2011

  I just read your profile, and it made me worried for you. You say that you're waiting until after BMT and Tech School because then you'll know for sure after that 5.5 months apart. You're planning your wedding for soon after that. 

  
  

  I would caution you to wait even a year longer. I wouldn't even start planning your wedding until he's out of tech school. Because what if you do realize that it's not the life you want? You're going to have a wedding already booked and planned, and backing out of that is a heck of a lot harder than backing out without everything planned. It's the same reason I tell people to wait a while after a deployment, even though so many people plan for right after their first deployment. 

  
  

  Also, living together is not a good reason to get married, I promise. My housing situation blows. I am a college graduate, SO is an NCO in the Marine Corps. He used to have BAH and live off base as a single NCO. When he lat moved, they took his BAH away, and made him live in the barracks. With 8 years in the military. He got special dispensation because he had already lived off base and had HHG to live in junior enlisted married housing. Where we can't even have our dog. His house is super tiny, and he can't make friends with his neighbors. I have to get a new paper every 90 days signed by PMO that I can come on base more than 6 times in a 45 day period. All of this could be solved by getting married. He'd get his BAH back, we could fly back East and get our dog, and we could bank some BAH (not a lot, but more than an E1/E2/E3). We've been together 2.5 years. The E3 gate guards always ask why I don't just marry him. All his friends ask why he doesn't just propose. It's because we want our marriage to be different than all the failed military marriages we see all the time. We want our marriage to be purely a promise to one another. Not for BAH, not for Tricare, not for nothing. 

  
  

  I'm not trying to be condescending either, I want to see success for all these young women, personally and in their relationships. The best way to shoot a good relationship in the foot is to get married before you're prepared as an adult to be married. 

  
  

  Also, with your fiance going into the military, I think it's best to change your SN. These boards are totally public, and you've got his first and last name easily found in your profile. 

  
  

  Good luck.

  I hate Dave Ramsey

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