Why White?

Siren89 · April 2013

In searching for wedding dresses, I only have one requirement. My dress cannot be white.

I love the idea of not wearing white for my wedding, but everytime that I tell someone about it, they respond like I've told them that I plan on consuming my fiance after the ceremony. I have my reasons for not wanting to wear white. When I tell people that I don't feel like it would go with the overall theme of the wedding, white makes me look undead (I'm VERY pale), and I don't agree with the ideaology behind the need to wear a white dress, I still get told that I won't feel like a bride.

Just to be clear, I respect every bride's decision to wear whatever she wants on her wedding day, whether it is a white dress or a green jumpsuit. I just would like to know why everyone here chose their attire for their wedding.

Did you go with white or another color? Why did you choose that color? Did you feel any pressure to wear something that wasn't entirely you? What about it makes you feel bridal?

Peledreamsofrain · April 2013

I sympathize, because I am excessively pale as well. In fact, that's actually why I ended up deciding on white.

If I had tried to wear a light champange, blush, or off-white dress, I would have looked naked because it would have blended into my skin. Stark white actually gave my skin a pink blush (blushing bride anyone?) that normally it does have at all against other colors. It really helped to carry red flowers too.

I also figured: You know, I'll only be able to get away with wearing a white ballgown once in my life. Eff it, Im going it"

bunni727 · April 2013

I caught more flack for wanting a tea-length dress, especially from bridal store. They looked at me like I had three heads. Oh, and my mom hated my blue shoes at first and wanted them to be more "bridal," until I tried on actual bridal shoes.

I chose an ivory dress because it looked best with my skin.

If I hadn't loved my dress and wanted to wear ivory, I would have worn blue. No huge reason, I just like blue.

I don't have much of a problem with the ideology of the white dress, because it's wrong. The white dress wasn't really a sign of purity, it was more a sign of affluence. Only the wealthy could afford to own a such a frivolous color dress. It really became popular with Queen Victoria, I think.

What color do you have in mind? Have a specific dress picked out? We like to gander at dresses, conventional or not.

smalfrie19 · April 2013

Mine is not ALL white, (see the sig pic below top left) but I LOVE the color blue. If i was not wearing mostly white I too would have probably worn blue.

AddieCake · April 2013

I chose an ivory dress b/c it looked best on me as opposed to white. I'm not opposed to colored bridal gowns, but it just wasn't the look I wanted. I did have my eye on a pink colored dress in a magazine, but it wasn't in a style I thought I could pull off.

csweaney · April 2013

I think you should get whatever wedding dress you want no matter the color--you are wearing it and just because you are bucking tradition doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. I've seen lots of photos of girls wearing not white dresses and I wish I was bolder, I'd do it myself! I especially love the pink dresses. There is a big trend with black wedding dresses right now, I think they're gorgeous--along with red and other colors. See examples below.

tammym1001 · April 2013

My dress isn't white. I knew I didn't want a white dress before I ever went shopping because I know what white looks like on me. When I was trying on dresses they kept trying to put me in white dresses, but telling me I could get it in blush or ivory. The white looked so horrible on me that I couldn't get past that. I ended up picking an ivory dress because it flattered my skin tone. I won't let my FI see my dress, but I did tell him it wasn't white. The only thing he said was it's not black is it?

Siren89 · April 2013

I was thinking silver, since the ceremony will be in the lighting room of the Museum of Science, where they will shoot man-made lightening at us. I'm just having trouble finding a dress that feels grand enough.

Something close to this would be nice

Tony Bowls Evenings Silver Slim Sequin Formal Dress TBE21271 image

I know that I will probably have to hire a seamstress and have it made just for me to get exactly what I want.

AddieCake · April 2013

That dress is really pretty. One of my bridesmaids wore a black and white patterned dress for her wedding, and it looked great.

monkeysip · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_why-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:892de269-c92b-4dc0-9147-bbed2f3940dbPost:3fdda511-d0ce-43a8-ae98-c2fc441a2b86">Re: Why White?</a>:
[QUOTE]I sympathize, because I am excessively pale as well. In fact, that's actually why I ended up deciding on white. If I had tried to wear a light champange, blush, or off-white dress, I would have looked naked because it would have blended into my skin. Stark white actually gave my skin a pink blush (blushing bride anyone?) that normally it does have at all against other colors. It really helped to carry red flowers too.<strong> I also figured: You know, I'll only be able to get away with wearing a white ballgown once in my life. Eff it, Im going it"</strong>
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

<div>This was my thought exactly. I don't really care too much about the symbolism (or false assumed symbolism) behind the white, but I think white dresses are really pretty. I think other colors are really pretty too, but I can wear those to other fancy occassions. I'd feel really out of place wearing a big white gown anywhere but my wedding, so I wanted to be able to have that opportunity.</div><div>
</div><div>It doesn't matter to me what other brides want to wear though. Other colors are just as beautiful... it just depends upon what look you're going for. I have seen some blush wedding dresses that almost made me change my mind. Also, I'm pretty pale too, and my dress is a really light ivory (not diamond white). I think it looks great on my skin.</div>

artbyallie · April 2013

I disagree that anyone really 'knows' what white looks like on them until they really try on an all-white dress. I was absolutely 100% positive that I needed to wear ivory or champagne because I am porcelain pale. Nope. Pure white actually looks fab with my rosy undertones and now I have at least 3 all-white dresses I wear in the summer in addition to wearing a white wedding gown.

That said, you don't have to wear any particular color. Though Queen Victoria did spark the trend, it remained a rich chicks only fashion until about the 1950s-60s. Most normal women continued to wear their best dress in whatever color it happened to be, since it could be worn more than once and not just for the wedding.

[Deleted User] · April 2013

My dress is ivory. Frankly it was the style that drew me to the dress. If it was another color, so long as it wasn't puke green, it probably wouldn't have swayed my decision.

Siren89 · April 2013

I have some other all white clothes, including dresses, and they just don't do very much to make me look living. I have tried pure white all the way to champagne, and I'm just not a fan. The ideology that I was referring to, just for clarity here, was that you have to wear a white dress (and calling it a wedding dress will make it cost 10x more)

I'm more interested in the thought process. One of my friends wants a black wedding dress, but her mother told her that she would not help her pay for the wedding if she wore one.

What makes a dress a wedding dress?

monkeysip · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_why-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:892de269-c92b-4dc0-9147-bbed2f3940dbPost:44144d1a-dc0d-4459-b01c-6dff10a7087a">Re: Why White?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have some other all white clothes, including dresses, and they just don't do very much to make me look living. I have tried pure white all the way to champagne, and I'm just not a fan. The ideology that I was referring to, just for clarity here, was that you have to wear a white dress (and calling it a wedding dress will make it cost 10x more) I'm more interested in the thought process. One of my friends wants a black wedding dress, but her mother told her that she would not help her pay for the wedding if she wore one. <strong>What makes a dress a wedding dress?</strong>
Posted by Siren89[/QUOTE]

<div>To the bold--a wedding dress is one you wear at your wedding ;)</div><div>
</div><div>But seriously, I don't know, I think people just get sucked into what's traditional for them. My mom probably would have freaked if I wore a color dress (not saying that's why I'm wearing white/ivory, but just saying). She thought it was weird that I was wearing light ivory because to her she had some strange notion that ivory was only for second weddings or brides who had been living with their fiance's already. I don't know, it's just weird. </div><div>
</div><div>I do definitely think that has affected a lot of us though. In the movies, and in our childhood, we always see brides in white gowns, and it just makes us feel like a bride. I got that feeling trying on white/ivory wedding gowns. It's just a cultural/normative thing. There's nothing inherently better about white, or inherently more "bridal", it's just a cultural custom now in our day. But that norm is changing somewhat because more and more you are seeing colored wedding gowns. </div><div>
</div><div>Point is--wear what you want! There's nothing wrong with wanting to wear white, which is more "the norm", but there's nothing wrong with wearing something else.</div><div>
</div><div>The only thing I would say is not to wear a bikini or spandex or something. But that's just me ;)</div>

krispi921 · April 2013

You know, neither of my grandmothers had a typical white wedding dress, and both of them were married for over 50 years. Neither of them had a wedding dress to pass down either.

Personally, I chose an ivory dress because I did want to look like a typical bride, but I prefer the softer look of ivory to white. I'm also doing a lot of blue accessories for fun and color.

tiny speck · April 2013

Seriously, wear what you want. And maybe stop announcing your intentions to people. I didn't want to wear white either, but I didn't tell anyone until I had already bought my dress. Even then, almost all our wedding guests didn't know the color of my dress until the wedding day. Once you're wearing it people won't be able to do much about trying to convince you not to, you know? Here's a picture:

ETA: You wanted to know why I chose a non-white dress. I just never liked the look of white, ivory, etc wedding gowns. I wanted something bold and elegant but different. Originally I wanted a grey dress, but that was nearly impossible to find. I also like that I will almost certainly be able to wear my dress again at appropriate occasions (fancy dinners or other events; I don't think I would wear it to a wedding).

MidniteRae · April 2013

A lot of people thought I was going to get a black dress. The dress I fell in love with is ivory with light gold.

Wear whatever you want. Wear whatever makes you feel like a bride. It doesn't matter what other people think.

winelover123 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_why-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:892de269-c92b-4dc0-9147-bbed2f3940dbPost:1b33accd-54a2-4a42-9f79-cbdfc6b4fc6a">Re: Why White?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Why White? : To the bold--a wedding dress is one you wear at your wedding ;) But seriously, I don't know, I think people just get sucked into what's traditional for them. My mom probably would have freaked if I wore a color dress (not saying that's why I'm wearing white/ivory, but just saying). She thought it was weird that I was wearing light ivory because to her she had some strange notion that ivory was only for second weddings or brides who had been living with their fiance's already. I don't know, it's just weird. I do definitely think that has affected a lot of us though. In the movies, and in our childhood, we always see brides in white gowns, and it just makes us feel like a bride. I got that feeling trying on white/ivory wedding gowns. It's just a cultural/normative thing. There's nothing inherently better about white, or inherently more "bridal", it's just a cultural custom now in our day. But that norm is changing somewhat because more and more you are seeing colored wedding gowns. Point is--wear what you want! There's nothing wrong with wanting to wear white, which is more "the norm", but there's nothing wrong with wearing something else.<strong> The only thing I would say is not to wear a bikini</strong> or spandex or something. But that's just me ;)
Posted by monkeysip[/QUOTE]

If FI and I were getting married in Hawaii (like we really wanted to!) I'd totally rock a white bikini for my wedding. But alas, that isn't happening.

I'm wearing gold. I didn't want white. I never wanted white or ivory or champagne. I considered blush pink and had my eye on a Vera Wang dress but it did not look good on me. I felt like I was swimming in a marshmellow, which was awesome!, but I didn't like it. So, I decided on gold and found gold lace and gold satin and am getting a gold wedding dress. I didn't want to spend that much money on a dress I could only wear once, so I'm getting it shortened to cocktail length after the wedding so I can wear it to FI's galas.

Barbiiieee · April 2013

My dress isn't white. It is a shade called "oatmeal," but really it is a vintage peachy blush pink color. I planned on wearing a shade of white (white, off white, ivory, something like that) but ended up LOVING this dress. It also comes in white, but I felt like it lost something in translation to white. This is my dress:

And this is what it looks like in white.. I just didn't love it as much. It looks so.. stark for such a whimsical gown.

(this is not me, I just stole this image off Google, Lol)

ohmrs2014 · April 2013

I tried on tons of white dresses and settled on ivory. My dad at first was like can we see the dress in white (I had actually tried it on in ivory and loved the color against my skin, didn't wash me out like white did). The girl next to me actually had the same dress on in white so she came over and stood next me and even my dad said, yea, your too pale. LOL. I say get a dress that makes you happy and that you love and feel comfortable in.

LibBea · April 2013

I chose a white dress because I am tan, and I didn't think ivory would pop on me. The first time I saw my dress on Etsy, it was in ivory, and while that was pretty, it was not me because of my tan complexion. Long story short, I tried on my dress with my FI's help, and he said until I was in that white dress instead of the ivory dress I brought home first, he did not think I looked like a bride.

Truthfully, I had this vision of a dress I would like and in my mind, it was never ivory.

Why White?

Re: Why White?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards