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What do to with bridesmaids in different cities?

gustafsonhausergustafsonhauser member
in Moms and Maids
Hi! I'm not getting married for over a year, but because I have lived all over the place since college, none of my bridesmaids live where I CURRENTLY live OR where my wedding will be held!  

I've started the process of looking at style and colors for bridesmaids dresses.  My fiance and  I are having a more "typical" wedding so I'm sticking with a more formal traditional look.  How do I make sure I can control the look of my wedding ceremony if I can't get all the ladies in one place to look at dresses?  I'm less interested in all the dresses being the exact same, and more interested in them being the same color and a fabric that's flattering to my dress.

I'm taking any suggestions on how to make sure this situation doesn't turn me into a bridezilla.

Thanks for your help!
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Re: What do to with bridesmaids in different cities?

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    Teddy917Teddy917 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    You can specify the fabric and color and they can find a place near them. You can have them order online. You can have them go to David's Bridal or another store that has branches practically everywhere.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    First, you need to speak with each of them privately to ask their budget, and then choose a dress that comes in under the lowest one. Then do as Teddy suggested and check out chain stores they all have access to or just tell them what color and fabric and let them find their own dresses.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    ZeroOrchestraZeroOrchestra member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I was in the same position for our wedding and I picked a store that was accessible to everyone as none if them were in the same city. I gave them the store, color and fabric and requested anything other than floor length. I went with Alfred Angelo. One of my girls even ordered online. DB is another good option. Just make sure to get their budgets and plan according to that.
    photo stringerbell_zps0f292e80.jpg Married! in New Orleans
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I don't understand what a 'fabric flattering to my dress' even means. Unless you're in a fancy fabric and they're in cotton, there shouldn't be an issue there.
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    scully931scully931 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited April 2013
    In Response to Re:What do to with bridesmaids in different cities?:I don't understand what a 'fabric flattering to my dress' even means. Unless you're in a fancy fabric and they're in cotton, there shouldn't be an issue there. Posted by artbyallie I can understand this. There was discussion about this when my girls and i looked. Some fabrics look better together than others. :
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    renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    I just picked a color from David's and told each person to choose her own dress in that color.
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    vanityinkvanityink member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    We all talked on facebook, picked a dress everyone agreed on from dessy group, and then everyone went out and ordered from wherever they live (2 in Virginia, 1 in New Jersey, and 2 in California). They all got the same dress and looked great without ever being together before the rehearsal.

    And as for how they look with your dress, I had a picture of my dress up on one side of my computer screen, then brought up pictures of BM dresses that were available country-wide and picked out ones that looked good together.
    photo a826c490-726a-4824-af5c-d938878de228_zpseb85bb5a.jpg
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    PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    The best thing you can possibly do for yourself and your BMs is to let them pick their own dresses within your guidelines.

    Choose a designer.  In my case, I went with Dessy because they are present all over the USA, and have hundreds of styles.  Order color swatches from that designer, and mail the swatches to your BMs, so they have something in their hands that matches exactly what you want.

    Then tell them, "Yay!  buy any dress you want as long as it is in X color, X length, and X fabric (and whatever else you care about)."

    Then sit back, have a margarita, and pat yourself on your back for all the stress you just saved yourself.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    OneLuckyNurseOneLuckyNurse member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_what-do-to-with-bridesmaids-in-different-cities?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2d4e2381-a20b-480b-a2a6-b49601fde44dPost:20f126c2-1fe0-4108-8b69-20e8628d22ac">What do to with bridesmaids in different cities?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi! I'm not getting married for over a year, but because I have lived all over the place since college, none of my bridesmaids live where I CURRENTLY live OR where my wedding will be held!   I've started the process of looking at style and colors for bridesmaids dresses.  My fiance and  I are having a more "typical" wedding so I'm sticking with a more formal traditional look.  How do I make sure I can control the look of my wedding ceremony if I can't get all the ladies in one place to look at dresses?  I'm less interested in all the dresses being the exact same, and more interested in them being the same color and a fabric that's flattering to my dress. I'm taking any suggestions on how to make sure this situation doesn't turn me into a bridezilla. Thanks for your help!
    Posted by gustafsonhauser[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I've been a bridesmaid multiple times where my friends lived all over and the wedding was in my home town. Infact I was the maid of honor and everything worked out just fine. I never ran into a problem with finding dresses, organizing events or anything. I think you are maybe a tad worried when you don't really need to be. It will work out :) I promise. I've seen many ways  that it worked. For one wedding, over the months before the wedding, if a girl happened to be traveling and in the area the bride took her to the shop and went through dresses. This worked great if you have girls that occasionally come to town. We still didn't order until shortly before the wedding but the dresses were picked out. Another bride gave me a list of DB dresses and what color and I could go to the shop nearest me. Both techniques worked just fine :) You can always look at DB and find a fabric you like and go from there. Good luck!</div>

     

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    ally91ally91 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary

    Most of my BMs lived across the country as well, I picked out a color and a few different styles at David's Bridal and told them that as long as it was that color (and same general style, ie cocktail not ballroom) then get whatever they'd like. They all ended up ordering from DB but it didn't matter to me where they got them.
    I'm the MOH for my MOH a month after my wedding (if that makes sense) and she did the same thing, "here's the color, get what you want". I ended up ordering my dress for her wedding on ebay, and it's perfect!

    Soon-to-be Mrs. Kent
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    MissMollyMissMolly member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I'm in the same boat; I live in 1 province, and my 2 bridesmaids live 1 province over. Ironically, they live 5 minutes from each other, and 5 hours from me!

    This is what we did: my sister (MOH) came with me to look at gowns in December, and once that was picked out and hung at the front of the store, we wandered around looking at BM dresses, and kept going to the front to see which fabrics/colour matched. My dress is a beige colour, and black went the best with it. So, that was easy. My only rules were: cocktail length and similar fabric. Short of that, it really didn't matter to me what they chose, as long as they're comfy. Sis picked hers, which shares the same outer layer fabric type as my dress. My other BM chose her dress in March, which is a similar fabric, but not the same. Oddly enough, both BM dresses were from the VW White collection, and we were told that ebony is exactly the same across the board in that collection, so we lucked out.

    I would say to just maintain contact, and swap photos over email. Make sure your girls are aware of your colour choice, and that you'd like them to find dresses of similar fabrics. Also, talk to the salesgirls, as they will probably be able to help you mix and match, and give you hints like my salesgirl did. If one of your BMs falls in love with a particular dress, maybe try basing all the others around that fabric/colour.


    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_what-do-to-with-bridesmaids-in-different-cities?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2d4e2381-a20b-480b-a2a6-b49601fde44dPost:20f126c2-1fe0-4108-8b69-20e8628d22ac">What do to with bridesmaids in different cities?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi! I'm not getting married for over a year, but because I have lived all over the place since college, none of my bridesmaids live where I CURRENTLY live OR where my wedding will be held!   I've started the process of looking at style and colors for bridesmaids dresses.  My fiance and  I are having a more "typical" wedding so I'm sticking with a more formal traditional look.  How do I make sure I can control the look of my wedding ceremony if I can't get all the ladies in one place to look at dresses?  I'm less interested in all the dresses being the exact same, and more interested in them being the same color and a fabric that's flattering to my dress. I'm taking any suggestions on how to make sure this situation doesn't turn me into a bridezilla. Thanks for your help!
    Posted by gustafsonhauser[/QUOTE]
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