Military Brides

Need advice re: National Guard!!!

Hello all!  I am recently engaged to a member of the TN National Guard!  So exciting!!  We don't necessarily want a long engagement, and I think marrying in October would be SO lovely!  However, I have been having the hardest time figuring out when his October drill date is.  The schedule they have been given goes through September 2013.  He said he has begun the "process" of asking the leadership (I guess he has to go through "the ranks" and they field the question to the appropriate person) but I just don't think it should take this long for someone to look on the calendar and text or email him the date.  Since the wedding will hopefully be less that 6 months away, I of course am very anxious to set the date and get things rolling!

Any words of wisdom?  Do you guys think there is anyone I could contact at their post that would be willing to help me?  I would appreciate ANY advice!

Thank you :)

Re: Need advice re: National Guard!!!

  • manjermjmanjermj
    Seventh Anniversary 500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited April 2013
    Congrats!!!

    Do not contact any one at his base. Leave it up to him to find out. 
  • I would wait it out. I am in the military and things aren't always as easy as they seem when talking to the chain of command. I would not contact anyone at the post. 
  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited April 2013
    Don't contact his command unless there is a life or death emergency.  That's wife rule #1.  The calendar he has only goes through September because the next fiscal year starts in October.  The schedule won't be set in stone until funding is set in stone.  They should be able to give you an idea of which weekend it will be.  I was a Reservisit.  Nearly all of our drill weekends were the first weekend of every month, unless it was a holiday weekend.  Most of my Guard friends have drill the third weekend of the month, unless it's a holiday weekend.  
    If push comes to shove and you have to choose a date, pick a date.  It if happens to be a drill weekend, he can ask to make it up either before or after the wedding.  

    *edited because I can't type for crap*


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  • Agree - do NOT call his unit!

    Drill schedules have to be approved all the way up the chain to the state headquarters level.  Different units drill on different weekends (although it isn't uncommon at all to see somewhat of a pattern of first weekend or third weekend, or whatever).  I was AGR in the Guard for 26 years and I never ever had my drill schedule for the next fiscal year until maybe August.

    I know that doesn't help, but the worst thing you could do is contact his unit.  It is only April, this is not what is on their radar right now, and I am sure the dates aren't even approved yet.  Give the Sequestration and all around budget climate, who knows how the next fiscal year will look.
  • I'll say exactly what everyone else has said. do NOT contact his unit. Absolutely rule #1 every military wife/bride/significant other should know.
    Secondly Congratulations!! Getting married to a member of the military is a whole new world (I am learning that first hand.)

    I'll revoice what PP said that my FI has never recived a drill schedule any earlier than the August. If you want to cut things fairly close my guess it that his drill will be the first weekend of the month. Now don't take that as a 100% for sure answer because some units do have drill the second weekend of the month and some just plain don't have drill at all.
    If you are dead set on October try for the middle of the month just to play it safe. If you can wait a while( which I know is tough I've been engaged way too long. September cannot come fast enough) Wait til his drill schedule is out.

    Just as a last note make sure you know exactly how to take your role as a military members wife. No matter what branch there are unspoken rules of what you do and do not do. It is an honor to be married to military but it does not come without frustration.
    Good luck and again Congrats !!!
  • Thanks for your input, ladies.  I looked for a pattern to see if drill landed always on a specific weekend.. But, sometimes it's the first weekend, sometimes it's the third.  And there's no clear pattern, like alternating between the 1st and 3rd weekend.  He is also in a very specific training course, and I think there is only one group of them, so I don't think he would be able to make it up a different weekend... I could be wrong, but that would be another thing he'd have to ask leadership. :-/
  • Completely agree with Sjmiller418 - get a military clause with your vendors in case something goes wrong. I'm in the same boat (also with the TN Guard - go figure!) and after getting frustrated we decided to just set our date for 12/28/2013; we figure it's very close to Christmas so it most likely won't be scheduled then anyways. Z's drills are usually around the 2nd weekend of the month. It was hard for me to accept in the beginning that he doesn't know things well ahead of time (I'm a planner person, so I like to have extremely advanced notice on everything) but it's something we all have to accept with the military. And I agree with everyone else - unless it is an absolute dire emergency, never contact his unit. You're best bet is to talk to him and your fellow MilSo's. 
  • clg1213clg1213
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    member

    My FI is PA Air Nat'l Guard.  He's a full-timer so it might be diff, but he did ask his command.  Essentially, they said "don't worry about it"....it might be an issue if he KNEW it was drill and planned it anyway, but since he doesn't know there isn't much he/we can do.  If it ends up being Drill, they'll deal with it (another full-timer is a groomsman and we have others on the guest list....).  Pretty much they said "It's your wedding, that's a valid excuse!"  Especially since it is normal to plan in advance...

    Had to laugh....I wanted October to have a shorter engagement (and to make me just have to pick vendors fast rather than dwelling), but FI wanted April.  We went with his preferred month but my preferred venue

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