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Engagement gifts?

KAK2014KAK2014 member
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum

My fiancé and I got engaged in February and many of my parent’s friends are asking us what we want as an engagement gift?  I think it is very nice that they would even offer but really unnecessary.  The other issue we have is that our guest list is not finalized so we obviously cannot accept gifts from people who potentially won't even be invited to the wedding.  

Once the guest list is finalized should we start registering for items and only tell people who explicitly ask to get us an engagement gift our info or should we just insist on no engagement gifts?


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Re: Engagement gifts?

  • Benny618Benny618
    First Comment
    Is it too early to register?  Fi and I registered shortly after getting engaged, and it's good we did because we got a LOT of enagement presents from family, parents friends, and our friends.  I was going to suggest that if people are asking what you want, you should register.
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  • Benny618Benny618
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    That makes sense, but a lot of what we registered for were basic items that over a year later are still available... kitchen aid mixer, pots and pans etc.  I feel like if OPs crowd is planning to get engagement gifts, she should register for some things, no?
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  • dem068dem068 member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    I would agree with registering for a few things (in various price ranges).  We got a TON of engagment gifts too, and I was glad that a lot of them were off our registry.  Because things we got that were not on the registry ended up mostly being returned (i.e we go 3 large crystal bowls, kept 1, returned 2, since we like in NYC and don't have a need/space for them)
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  • KAK2014KAK2014 member
    First Comment

    Thanks, I think we will register for a few things just so people have options if they insist on wanted to get us something.  I do need a new vacuum ASAP mine is on the fritz lol.

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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited April 2013
    It would be very rude to decline a gift from someone.  As PPs mentioned, it's fine to accept a gift that someone gives you on their own, regardless of whether they will be invited to the wedding.  

    It's fine to create a registry now.  I would not, personally, be comfortable telling someone that I did not plan to invite to my wedding about a registry, though.  I would just say something like "How thoughtful of you to ask; I am sure we will appreciate whatever you pick out."  

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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Most importantly, I would try to get a guest list together, because it's very bad form to invite someone to an engagement party and not the wedding.
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I don't think most people will be getting you a vacuum as an engagement gift...

    I have received a few picture frames from my registry though.  We did our three gift registries about a month after getting engaged (9 months before the wedding) and things are already being purchased and the shower isn't til the end of July.  The only store I do check things to really watch seasonal availability is Target.  Kohls & BBB don't have as much turnover.
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  • KAK2014KAK2014 member
    First Comment
    In Response to Re: Engagement gifts?:
    [QUOTE]We got some engagement gifts. Most were cash, the rest were small gifts, like a ring holder, bottle of champagne, etc. Not the sort of thing you'd register for, but the sort of things we enjoyed. I think registering for e-gifts is too forward. Also, shower and wedding gifts shouldn't be unsed until after the wedding, and for bigger gifts, like a vacuum or KA mixer, I feel like the same rule should apply to e-gifts, whereas most people give you a bottle of champagne for you to celebrate with now, rather than later. Does that make sense?
    Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

    Yes, that makes sense, thank you.  I was kind of kidding about the vaccum but really wasn't sure what type of gifts people give for engagement.  Your post gave me a better idea.  I wouldn't necessarily be registering for e-gifts just thought I could start my registry early if people insisted on getting something.  I'm just trying to figure out how all this works. :)  I have decided not to register until we get closer to the actual wedding and if people want to give gifts we will say something like whatever you think we will enjoy etc.  Seems like that's the best way to do it. Thanks!
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  • KAK2014KAK2014 member
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    In Response to Re: Engagement gifts?:
    [QUOTE]You can register anytime you wish.  It's not a faux pas to do it as soon as you're engaged, especially if your family is the type to give engagement presents or buy registry gifts for birthdays and holidays.  Pick the items that won't be discontinued, and add later. It's fine to tell people what you'd like (oh, a gift card might be nice, or we registered at Macy's), but yes - be careful of the guest list! It's not a faux pas to accept gifts from non-wedding guests if they know they aren't invited....anyone so inclined can send a present. "Oh, thank you so much for the offer, but we haven't registered anywhere.  Your congratulations is a delight to us," is fine too.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    Very helpful, thank you for the insight :)
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  • Ella and PedroElla and Pedro member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary First Comment
    My fiance and I made a registry on amazon.com and choose that because they have a 'universal registry' ap.  The way it works is, you start by registering on amazon, then you sign-up for and upload their software to your favorites menu.  Then, whenever you want to add something to this registry from another website, you can. Through this you can register wine or gourmet cheese from a gourmet food website, a birdhouse or windchime from a nature lover's website, flower bulbs for your garden from Brecks, kitchen stuff from William Sonoma,cookbooks from Barnes and Noble, or whatever.  About half our 'amazon' registry is non-Amazon stuff. I found this particularily helpful when it came to holiday decor, as we wanted Halloween as well as Christmas decor, and amazon was a bit limited.

    The way I see it, some stuff may be discontinued, but if that is so, people will at least have a good idea of what we want, because they'll see the discontinued item.  Also, people are offered a really wide range of items on our registry, from $8-$180.00.  That would be my suggestion, have at least a dozen in each price range ($5-15) ($15-25) ($25-50) etc.

    Good luck!
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to Re: Engagement gifts?:
    [QUOTE]mlg78, I DID get a vacuum for my engagement present for my second wedding..... a Bissell carpet cleaner!!!!  She said my new husband would get tired of vacuuming up the cat hair!!
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    Ha! That's hysterical!  We're on vacuum #2 in our home since I moved in with 3 cats.  Eek!
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  • DianaMick1215DianaMick1215 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I wouldn't register for engagement gifts. It seems a little suggestive to be newly engaged and already have a registry.
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  • aprilpeter12aprilpeter12 member
    First Comment

    If you have a wedding registry then I don’t thing to have it for engagement. You can add those items to your wedding registry list as well. Many registry services provides this facility where you can add or delete gifts. We have registered  for one gift registry with our wishing well for both the occasions (wedding and engagement). And when we received some gifts at the time of engagement we just removed them from the list. This also helps us to avoid duplication of gifts. And if you want to register for engagement gifts as well then add the people who won't be invited to the wedding for this.

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