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Wrong color dress?

Leells2017Leells2017
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I'm in a friends wedding coming up, and the bride just told us all to choose any black cocktail dress we wanted. My roommate is also in the wedding, and she just came back with a freakin' tea length navy blue dress. Not like, "maybe it's navy, maybe it's black" navy, but like "OMG NAVY" navy. It clashes horribly. I pointed it out against my dress, and she flat out said she doesn't care, she already took the tags off, and the bride can get a different dress if that's what needs to happen. She really doesn't get how sh!tty this is to our friend. I'm trying to get her to change her mind on this before the bride even has to find out. She is under a crazy amount of stress right now, both wedding related and not, and she doesn't need this. I'm hoping I can get enough people to back me up on what a crappy thing this is to do to a friend so I can show this to her and she'll hopefully change her mind.
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Re: Wrong color dress?

  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    If she doesn't have a black dress she's not in the WP.  It's not complicated - the BMs are wearing black.  If she's not in black, she's not a BM. 

    Your bride was ridiculous easy about what dress to get and your roommate is being obnoxiously obstinate.  If she loves the dress she bought, great - she can wear it to every other wedding she attends for the next 5 years.  But to stand up in this friend's wedding she needs a black dress.. 

    hope this helps your case!

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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Your roommate sounds like a peach.  Seriously, the bride gave you the easiest dress in the world to find.

    Needless to say she didn't fulfill her one duty as a BM she didn't buy the designated dress so as of right now she has removed herself from the wedding.

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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
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    Your friend sounds like a jerk. Does she already have a black dress she can wear? 
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  • harper0813harper0813 member
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    That is super rude of her. I would say to her, "That's too bad, I was looking forward to being a bridesmaid with you." Because, like PPs have said, she is removing herself from the wedding party by not following the bride's VERY simple and lenient instructions.
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  • hgminorhgminor member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Dear friend,

    Is the color navy versus black really something to die on a hill for?  All the bride asked for was a black cocktail dress, which is probably the most reasonable choice with the most options.  Is the navy dress really worth the risk of stressing the bride out more, being judged tremendously on choosing the wrong color, and possibly losing the bride as a friend because of your innability to her (very simple and easy to follow) rule for the dress?

    I would like to know what her real thoughts are on the matter.  I can't believe this is really just about a navy dress.  Is she jealous of something or having a moment of envy that is leading her to act out this way?  Figuring out the issue will help the problem, since comparing color swatches doesn't seem to matter :)
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  • Leells2017Leells2017
    First Comment
    Thank you all! And feel free to keep it coming! Our friend, the bride, is literally the nicest person I've ever met. The fact that she asked us to just wear whatever black cocktail dress we want is a great example. She never wants to put anybody out. Unless something crazy happened that I have no clue about (unlikely), there is no real reason for my roommate to be difficult like this. She knows that our friend is under a lot of stress since her venue closed down suddenly 2 months out from the date. She didn't get the deposit back and has been scrambling to get everything worked out. I think it's extra horrible that roommate is doing this right now. It was one thing that she didn't want to help at all with the shower (which was at our apartment, wouldn't even help mix the effing punch, but whatever), fine, she doesn't have to, but she deliberately picked the wrong kind of dress.

    She definitely has other LBD's, but there is some BS reason why she can't wear any of them. Nobody is going to notice that she wore any of them before. No one cares. People WILL notice and WILL care if she shows up in a freaking tea-length navy dress when everyone else is in knee-length black dresses. Even if the black dresses don't look alike. 
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  • winelover123winelover123 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment First Answer
    Yeah your roommate is being obnoxious. If she doesn't get a black dress, she's out of the wedding. The bride is being super-flexible with allowing you all to pick any black dress.
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  • AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Does the bride know yet? How does she feel about it?
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  • Leells2017Leells2017
    First Comment
    In Response to Re: Wrong color dress?:
    [QUOTE]Does the bride know yet? How does she feel about it?
    Posted by AndreaJulia[/QUOTE]

    She doesn't know yet. My roommate showed me the dress this morning, she either got it early today or last night. I really want her to get this sorted out before the bride finds out. This seems like no big deal, but with everything else that has happened to her recently with planning, this could be the straw that breaks the camels back. I even offered my roommate a gift card I have (and really want to use) to White House Black Market, just so she can get something different. Even though I think she is being a horses ass and should buy her own dress.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Ditto Harry. How ridiculous. If she doesn't care that she bought a navy dress and already took the tags off, I hope she enjoys the navy dress she won't be wearing and may have just wasted money on. She has taken herself out of the wedding by getting that dress.  
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • MuppetFanMuppetFan member
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    Your roommate is being disrespectful and rude to the bride. She's not a guest, she's a bridesmaid, someone who the bride feels close enough to and places high importance on their relationship. The bride gave her a single, simple criteria of "black dress" for being in the wedding.  It was very generous of her not to require a $200 dress she could never wear again.

    It was with blatent disrespect that your roommate removed the tags to make it so she "couldn't" return it.  If I were the bride, I would be incredibly hurt.

    If you can't convince her to buy a black dress, I would get the rest of the bridal party involved before the bride. Maybe they can show her how rude she is being and ask her why she willingly places herself in a position to hurt the bride?




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    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.

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  • KDM323KDM323 member
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    Wow...she's not much of a friend is she?
    *** Fairy Tales Do Come True *** Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • artbyallieartbyallie mod
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Well, I suppose it's perfectly fine for her to wear her new dress to the wedding... as a guest.
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  • TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
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    This is terrible. BUT eveyrone has black dresses, so hopefully one of her friends can lend her one, and she can wear the navy dress to the RD or some other party.

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