Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception

kgrazu01 · April 2013

I am trying to decide between a 1 o'clock ceremony start time and a 3 o'clock. It will be at a church so the ceremony should last about an hour. I am leaning towards the 3 o'clock because the cocktail hour will begin at 6... does this leave me enough time to get all the pictures I want and take a breath between events??

Briannasteve · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_amount-of-time-for-pictures-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:def36dba-2a8a-42fa-bc66-1297dce81389Post:1398035e-491b-4c35-b2d1-7d94bcc2bd0f">Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I am trying to decide between a 1 o'clock ceremony start time and a 3 o'clock. It will be at a church so the ceremony should last about an hour. I am leaning towards the 3 o'clock because the cocktail hour will begin at 6... does this leave me enough time to get all the pictures I want and take a breath between events??
Posted by kgrazu01[/QUOTE]

YES!!!! I dont mean to sound mean, however, its considered bad etiquette to have more than 2 hours between the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the cocktail hour. With that in mind, not everyone listens to etiquette. But, as a guest I would be annoyed with 4 hours between the two events.

JoanE2012 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_amount-of-time-for-pictures-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:def36dba-2a8a-42fa-bc66-1297dce81389Post:1398035e-491b-4c35-b2d1-7d94bcc2bd0f">Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I am trying to decide between a 1 o'clock ceremony start time and a 3 o'clock. It will be at a church so the ceremony should last about an hour. I am leaning towards the 3 o'clock because the cocktail hour will begin at 6... does this leave me enough time to get all the pictures I want and take a breath between events??
Posted by kgrazu01[/QUOTE]

You should not have a gap between the ceremony and the reception. That is incredibly rude to your guests. You take your photos during the cocktail hour or before the ceremony.

danilynn72 · April 2013

No, not so...my ceremony is at 2:30 pm and will last an hour and my cocktail hour starts at 6pm. We are doing this so that we are not rushed and we get all the pictures in that we are paying thousands of dollars for. You should not have to miss a precious minute of your cocktail hour to take pictures. That's your time to greet guests so that during the reception...you don't have to! With all this being said, I would go with the 3:00 time and you will have plenty of time...1:00 is a bit too long. Oh, and we didn't want photos before either.

JoanE2012 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_amount-of-time-for-pictures-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:def36dba-2a8a-42fa-bc66-1297dce81389Post:8ecc55fd-453b-4c9f-a2ab-31d722461d16">Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]No, not so...my ceremony is at 2:30 pm and will last an hour and my cocktail hour starts at 6pm. We are doing this so that we are not rushed and we get all the pictures in that we are paying thousands of dollars for. You should not have to miss a precious minute of your cocktail hour to take pictures. That's your time to greet guests so that during the reception...you don't have to! With all this being said, I would go with the 3:00 time and you will have plenty of time...1:00 is a bit too long. Oh, and we didn't want photos before either.
Posted by danilynn72[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div><span style="font-size:11px;line-height:14px;">What do you expect your guests to do while you're off taking photos? </span>That is extremely rude. </div><div>
</div><div>The cocktail hour is traditionally the time to take photos. You are more than welcome to join the cocktail hour.....if you take your photos before the ceremony. Have some respect for your guests. The reception is for them, not you.
</div>

vazqueja · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_amount-of-time-for-pictures-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:def36dba-2a8a-42fa-bc66-1297dce81389Post:8ecc55fd-453b-4c9f-a2ab-31d722461d16">Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]No, not so...my ceremony is at 2:30 pm and will last an hour and my cocktail hour starts at 6pm. We are doing this so that we are not rushed and we get all the pictures in that we are paying thousands of dollars for. You should not have to miss a precious minute of your cocktail hour to take pictures. That's your time to greet guests so that during the reception...you don't have to! With all this being said, I would go with the 3:00 time and you will have plenty of time...1:00 is a bit too long. Oh, and we didn't want photos before either.
Posted by danilynn72[/QUOTE]

Mine is even a more bigger gap lol. ceremony at a church is at 2 and cocktail is at 7 lol. I don't think I should have to take photos during my cocktail and reception. Ive been to weddings that I did not even see the bride or groom in their cocktail and reception because they had to take photos. They didn't even get to enjoy their own wedding. . Alot of people don't usually go to the ceremony from what i've seen. Maybe i'm wrong. ;/

JoanE2012 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_amount-of-time-for-pictures-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:def36dba-2a8a-42fa-bc66-1297dce81389Post:6c56182e-6451-4c2e-bfac-e5266d0b1f42">Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception : Mine is even a more bigger gap lol. ceremony at a church is at 2 and cocktail is at 7 lol. I don't think I should have to take photos during my cocktail and reception. Ive been to weddings that I did not even see the bride or groom in their cocktail and reception because they had to take photos. They didn't even get to enjoy their own wedding. . Alot of people don't usually go to the ceremony from what i've seen. Maybe i'm wrong. ;/
Posted by vazqueja[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Again, the cocktail hour is traditionally for photos. You don't take photos during the reception, so you would enjoy that. If you want to enjoy your cocktail hour, do a first look and get most of the photos done before the ceremony. </div><div>
</div><div>I couldn't imagine leaving my guests hanging for hours. And to make people wait for cocktail hour because you don't want them to start anything without you? That's rude and selfish.

</div>

Briannasteve · April 2013

This is not the Etiquette board. Lets not jump down each others throats about etiquette. If she wanted the advice from the etiqutte board she would have gone there. Many bride and grooms have gaps between the ceremony and the reception. I am having a two hour gap and my uncle is hosting people at his hotel room for my side fo the family, and my in laws are hosting people at their house during that break. We are also encouraging our guests to head back to the hotel because there is a shuttle from the hotel to the venue. Guests ALSO have the option to head the venue early and spend time at the bar. I have been to many weddings where there is a two hour gap and I never minded it. Gives time to refresh make up and alll of that. I am also not attending my cocktail hour for MORE pictures....

Like other PPs have posted, I have spend thousands of dollars for this day and Im not going to condense my pictures into a one hour period. The bottom line is that if a guest doesnt like the two hour gap they dont have to come, or they dont go to the ceremony. In planning a wedding the thing I have realized is that you cannot please everyone.

nikole712 · April 2013

I am having a 3pm Mass and the Cocktail hour starts at 6:30. The church and reception venue are about 30 minutes away. Also, as Briannasteve mentioned in her post, we are encouraging our guests to go to the hotel before the reception as we also have a shuttle to the venue. I have never been to a Church wedding where there was not at least a 2 hour gap in between and until I joined this board had no idea it was considered rude. I always used the extra time in between to either go to the hotel and freshen up or if it was close to my home, just go home and change for the reception. Never had a problem with it.

danilynn72 · April 2013

Exactly my simple advice is the reception is for YOU...you are paying thousands of dollars because it's YOUR day! Of course, you are "more than welcome" to join the cocktail hour because...its your cocktail hour..you paid for it and the party honors you. My wedding planner reminded me that you don't have to babysit your guests...they will go for a walk near some stores, in town, go for a drink at a near restaurant or walk near the beach ( like mine) or better yet back to the hotel to freshen up. Everyone is used to this and I too have never been to a wedding where there wasn't a gap.

JoanE2012 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_amount-of-time-for-pictures-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:def36dba-2a8a-42fa-bc66-1297dce81389Post:f72458a2-1e61-404d-84a9-9cec8d897366">Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Exactly my simple advice is the reception is for YOU...you are paying thousands of dollars because it's YOUR day! You don't have to babysit your guests...they will go for a walk near some stores or boardwalk or even back to the hotel to freshen up. Everyone is used to this and I too have never been to a wedding where there wasn't a gap.
Posted by danilynn72[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Wow! I can't believe the attitude of brides who feel so entitled! I would never treat my friends and family like that. </div><div>
</div><div>See, once you invite guests, it's no longer just your day. It's not all about me, me, me. That is selfish and rude. </div><div>
</div><div>The reception is for your guests, not you! You are receiving/thanking them. It's not really a difficult concept. </div>

AJuliaNJ · April 2013

I think 1pm leaves too much of a gap. I'd go with 3pm. How far is your church from your reception? If guests got to the reception venue early, could they have a drink?

I don't think a 2 hour gap is that bad. After the ceremony, people mill about and then they have to drive to the reception venue. When all is said and done, they will only need to kill an hour or so. I only see it as a problem if there's really nowhere for them to go in between and they're like sitting in their cars or a lobby. As a guest, I wouldn't complain or feel overly put out.

michelle221 · April 2013

I think 3 pm is a good time for a 6 pm reception. It will allow for yourself and your guests to socialize and relax after the ceremony, and feel unrushed to get to your reception site. I also feel that it's a great idea to get most of your pictures done during this gap so you can respect your guests during the cocktail hour by welcoming them and being part of the celebration. There is no rudeness or selfishness here. On the contrary, you are thinking about your guests by providing a warm and unrushed flow of events with you present for them.

JoanE2012 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_amount-of-time-for-pictures-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:def36dba-2a8a-42fa-bc66-1297dce81389Post:81eafa3f-c501-47aa-bfa8-b891be96ceac">Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I think 3 pm is a good time for a 6 pm reception. It will allow for yourself and your guests to socialize and relax after the ceremony, and feel unrushed to get to your reception site. I also feel that it's a great idea to get most of your pictures done during this gap so you can respect your guests during the cocktail hour by welcoming them and being part of the celebration. There is no rudeness or selfishness here. On the contrary, you are thinking about your guests by providing a warm and unrushed flow of events with you present for them.
Posted by michelle221[/QUOTE]

<div>If one hosts the guests during the gap, that is fine. But if you leave guests to fend for themselves so you can take pictures AND then go to cocktail hour, that is rude. </div><div>
</div><div>The cocktail hour is traditionally the time the bride and groom takes photos. It's only more recently that the bride and groom have been going to the cocktail hour. Which is ok, if they do a first look and/or take their photos ahead of time. But having a gap AND attending the cocktail hour is rude and selfish. </div><div>
</div><div>I've been to several weddings with this gap. We didn't have a hotel room, we didn't really know the area, so we ended up sitting in our car. That's not fun. </div>

Briannasteve · April 2013

Just give your guests a heads up and in your invitations/welcome bags make sure you give suggestions of what to do during the gap. I've never been to a wedding that didn't have a gap unless it was in the same place. I even went to a wedding where the church was across from the reception site in St. Augustine and there was still a 2 hour gap. The bride gave plenty of options for guests to do during the break in her invitations. No one complained, and the majority of her guests were not only from out of state but also out of the country.

most of my guests already know there will be a 2 hour gap and they have all already started making plans. Im also including a list of parks, bars, places to eat, places to see in their welcome bags, with a condensed version in the invitations. Just make sure they are prepared.

danilynn72 · April 2013

Don't worry...if they don't know the area...they can drive and simply find a place for a walk or a drink...this way they don't feel rushed either...totally not a big deal. I understand what the one lady is saying (kind of) but the day is still yours and yes you invite them to share your day...but everyone knows this one big day you've been waiting for and is still about you.

colex · April 2013

I agree it is rude to have a gap, but with a religious ceremony taking place in a seperate location it is unavoidable. I rather have a short gap and get to the place a little earlier (you never do know how traffic will be around here) than sit around in dress clothes with nothing to do.

I can always go to one of the 4 million strip malls.

JoanE2012 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_amount-of-time-for-pictures-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:def36dba-2a8a-42fa-bc66-1297dce81389Post:7c7b970d-6df0-441d-9fe1-5e0974313dc1">Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree it is rude to have a gap,<strong> but with a religious ceremony taking place in a seperate location it is unavoidable</strong>. I rather have a short gap and get to the place a little earlier (you never do know how traffic will be around here) than sit around in dress clothes with nothing to do. <strong> I can always go to one of the 4 million strip malls.</strong>
Posted by colex[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Don't blame religion for a gap. The bride and groom CAN avoid a gap if they move the reception earlier. They choose not to because they WANT an evening reception. </div><div>
</div><div>Yeah, I'm not going to be dressed to the nines and go walking around a strip mall. </div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

Salsera29 · April 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_amount-of-time-for-pictures-between-ceremony-and-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:def36dba-2a8a-42fa-bc66-1297dce81389Post:eabc4857-69d9-49a9-b336-be2cc8551c6a">Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception : Don't blame religion for a gap. The bride and groom CAN avoid a gap if they move the reception earlier. They choose not to because they WANT an evening reception. Yeah, I'm not going to be dressed to the nines and go walking around a strip mall.
Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Joan is right. The attitude, "Well it MUST be ok because I'm doing it!" is just ridiculous. It is not YOUR DAY, it is your wedding and a celebration that includes ALL OF YOUR GUESTS. Making them wait hours upon hours for you to take pictures is rude. End of story.

</div>

[Deleted User] · April 2013

I agree with Joan and Salsera, gaps should be avoided at all costs. Where these brides got the idea that they are allowed to be so rude and inconsiderate to their guests is beyond me!

danilynn72 · May 2013

Ok so don't walk a strip mall, but what about going to a restaurant for a drink or gosh even a diner for a coffee?? My guests are going to a quaint village near the water that has a boardwalk, outside cages, etc. you have to be creative...there's always somewhere to go

nycrose2013 · May 2013

I have a gap too, and while I am not "blaming" religion per se, I don't think all Catholic brides should have to have a 4 PM reception instead of an evening reception just to avoid a gap. In fact, my guests would definitely prefer my glamorous evening full out black tie reception to a 4:00 thing that will be over by 9.

In my area, gaps are very common, and people know how to handle them. In fact, no one bats an eyelash when a guest just attends the reception and not the ceremony b/c they live too far away to handle a gap easily. People who aren't skipping the ceremony either go home, to a friend or relative's house, back to the hotel, or to a bar/restaurant. They are adults and can make their own plans, or just decline.

I would still try to minimize it, so make your wedding at 3.

danilynn72 · May 2013

Exactly my thoughts NY crose.. ...

Chrissy241987 · May 2013

Virtually every wedding I have been to has had a gap. I expect it. I like the chance to mingle at the church and talk after without the loud music there will be at the reception. I did attend one recently with no gap. Got stuck in traffic between church and reception and cocktail hour was over before most of us got there. Since there was no time left for pictures, the bride and groom and bridal party and family got stuck doing it during the reception. At a guess they all missed about an hour of the reception. I would rather wait around as a guest for and hour or more than to be at a wedding reception with no bride and groom for an hour or more. The party just died with all the people who left to take pictures.

SewInLoveWithDMB · May 2013

Gaps, although common, are rude to guests. As mentioned above, there are ways to get around this by choosing locations close to your church, changing reception times, etc.

If you cannot avoid it, and this was also mentioned above - beware that many guests might not want to deal with it, and then only come to the reception. This is fine as well (and rude on the guests' part) - but theoretically, the most important aspect of the day is the marriage ceremony, not the party that follows. If you are all right with people skipping on the most important part, then choose the time that works best for you and not your guests. If you are trying to accommodate your guests, try to make the gap as short as possible.

colex · May 2013

JoanE2012 said:

In Response to Re: Amount of Time for Pictures between Ceremony and Reception:
I agree it is rude to have a gap, but with a religious ceremony taking place in a seperate location it is unavoidable. I rather have a short gap and get to the place a little earlier (you never do know how traffic will be around here) than sit around in dress clothes with nothing to do. I can always go to one of the 4 million strip malls.
Posted by colex

Don't blame religion for a gap. The bride and groom CAN avoid a gap if they move the reception earlier. They choose not to because they WANT an evening reception.

Yeah, I'm not going to be dressed to the nines and go walking around a strip mall.

How many venues have you looked at? I'm only asking because many of them will only book certain times if you are having a church wedding. It does come into play, I spoke with about 5 different venues, I know not a lot and they all told me the same thing. I am not blaming religion but it is common when you are having a church wedding to have a gap between the ceremony and the reception. Plus, this is the new jersey board. I don't know where you are from in NJ, but my area is notorious for traffic jams, and I am partially grateful for a gap to allow for traffic that can and probably will occur.

We are all entitled to our differences in opinion.

shannyb41 · May 2013

I think you should be fine. My ceremony is at 4 in a church. It won't take longer than 30 minutes (we aren't doing a mass or anything). We are doing photos in the same town. The venue is about a half hour away and some guests are staying in the room block we have set so they will be taking the shuttle over. Cocktail hour starts at 6. I didn't want any gap in time but we had limitations with the church as to what time we could do the ceremony. Everyone is local though so I already know a lot of my family/friends are all going to someones house in between or just heading right to the hotel.

We didn't schedule this around our photography time though.

Chrissy241987 · May 2013

Another reason for a big gap--unexpected traffic. This weekend we attended a wedding. The ceremony took place near Rutgers. And guess what college graduated this weekend :-( The service started over an hour late. Then it was a nightmare getting to the reception. The guests that skipped the church enjoyed cocktail hour. The rest of us arrived too late. :-(

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