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How to choose MOH

Illyria15Illyria15 member
First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
For those women here with sisters, were they automatically your choice for a MOH? I have an older sister. We get along but don't talk much or get together outside of family events like birthdays or holidays. I would be totally fine having her be my maid of honor but the problem is is that she is very unorganized and not good at planning anything. My best friend, on the other hand, is very organized and loves planning events. Is it rude to ask my friend to be my MOH instead of her? Or should I give my sister the title but have my friend do all the planning? 

Thank you!
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Re: How to choose MOH

  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    You choose your MOH because she is important to you, not because of what she can do for you. MOH only requirement is to show up in the dress and smile for pictures.
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  • brielleinlovebrielleinlove member
    5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper First Comment
    Lack of organization shouldn't be a factor in choosing your MOH.  No matter who you choose, please don't put planning responsibilities on your wedding party.  If your bridesmaids volunteer to help you tie ribbons, address invitations, make seating cards, throw you a bachelorette party or bridal shower, etc., that is great and you can definitely accept their help.  But expecting and demanding that they do these things, or anything other than purchase the requested dress and show up on time to the ceremony, is not a nice way to treat your friends.  It's also setting yourself up for disappointment.
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  • allispainallispain member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    You pick who is most important to you. Siblings aren't even in our bridal party, since it's small and we wanted all close friends (I'm not super close to my sister, FI is close to one of his but not the other). Instead, we're having the sisters do the ceremony readings. 
    image
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Ditto PPs.  It is NOT the MOH's job to help plan your wedding, plan any pre-wedding parties, etc.  Her only responsibilities in that title is to get a dress, stand next to you during your ceremony, and likely hold your flowers during the ceremony...she could also sign the marriage license as a witness if needed.  You choose this person based on who is closest to you as a way to honor your relationship and their position in your life...so whoever that person is to you, that's who you choose. 

    Anniversary
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  • amaryann210amaryann210 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I have two sisters and because we are so close, I couldn't decide between them.  So, one is the Matron of Honor and one is Maid of Honor, and my best friend is a bridesmaid.
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