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November 2011 Weddings

Wedding vows....

Are you adding the word 'obey' to your wedding vows?

I've decided that I want to add them to my wedding vows, I think it will be a shock for my fiance as I haven't told him yet - am I being old-fashioned? 

I don't think it's a way of demeaning myself as a woman but just a way of honoring the event of our future together. My fiance has never, ever demanded or suggested that I obey him in any way, shape or form & I don't think that he ever would. 

I feel it's the right thing to do for me & for us.

Re: Wedding vows....

  • We will have obey in our vows too. But I wouldn't say it's adding the word, more like NOT taking it out... 

    I completely agree about it not being demeaning, as part of my conservative Christian beliefs I find it the right thing to do! It will work well with our Unity Cross ceremony too! :]
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  • i havent discussed oujr vows yet as we cant meet with our registrar until at least a year out.  Personally i think i would remove it,  for me it doesnt fit well with our relationship and how it funcitons at the moment, and i want our vows to reflect the people we are.  For you OP and PP you both feel its right for your relationship, so then its right to keep it in.
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  • Whether you wish to retain the obey part of traditional Christian wedding vows is entirely up to you.
    But I have a couple of questions:
    1.  Are you doing it just for the sake of tradition?
    2.  Are you doing it because it's important to your Christian value system?
    3. If you truly "feel it's the right thing to do for me & for us", why are you asking a bunch of people on wedding board about it?
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  • nontradduo - I'm asking just to see what other people are planning to do, nothing more. 
    1. I'm not doing it for the sake of tradition because if that was the case I'd be getting married in a church, also none of my sisters said it in their wedding vows so there goes the tradition.
    2. I'm a Catholic in every sense of the word but differ in my thoughts as to what the Catholic Church stands for today so my thoughts of having the words has nothing to do with my religion.

    I asked in my original post if it was old-fashioned to have it in the vows -- nothing more.

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