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Which Way To Go With Alcohol?

mybestfriendswedding15mybestfriendswedding15
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in Wedding Reception Forum
I am helping my BFF plan her wedding. Right now, we are trying to come up with a budget that is realistic without making her wedding cheap or trashy. A big issue is alcohol. Her extended family is made up of some pretty heavy drinkers. The couple doesn't have a lot of money for the wedding because it's the second marriage for both and there are seven children between them. Here are the ideas we have come up with
Option #1-Bring your own booze. This is the bride's idea. Her sister did it, but that wedding was...not the most tasteful. Personally, I hate this idea!
Option #2-Provide a very limited amount of alcohol. A few bottles of wine, a keg and maybe a large container of a signature drink. This is my personal favorite idea because it keeps everyone from getting too plastered. That is definitely something to worry about with her family.
Option #3-Provide a bar that is open on beer/signature drink and cash for everything else.
Are there any options we are overlooking? What are your honest opinions about the options?
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Re: Which Way To Go With Alcohol?

  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Guests should not have to open their wallets at a wedding, so don't have any part of the bar be a cash bar.  

    I think providing your own will be cheapest for the couple.  However, if there is a concern about heavy drinkers and having it look tasteful, I would definitely hire a bartender to serve the alcohol that you (the couple) provide.  It's fine to have a limited selection, like beer, wine, and a sig cocktail, but I would not get so little that you know you will run out.  
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Answer Name Dropper
    #2 is the only real option, the others require the guests to host themselves. Your gut is right-- #2.
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  • daria24daria24 member
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    Option #2 is the only option acceptable, etiquette-wise. You can't control how much adults drink, and the more she stresses out about it, the bigger the problem will become. Purchase the alcohol that is within budget, like wine and beer only, and hire a bonded & insured bartender who will know when and how to cut people off.
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  • loca4pookloca4pook member
    First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary

    NO guest should ever "bring" their own alcohol nor should they pay for a cash bar.

     

    I think stick with beer and wine, and that should be good enough

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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Option 4- provide a bar that is open beer/wine/signature drink.  And nothing else.  If people order other things, don't charge them for it, just have the bartender tell them that isn't being served.

    Option 5- Dry wedding.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Good Lord, I cannot fathom being asked to bring my own alcohol to a wedding. If I were ever going to be a pearl clutcher, I think this is it. 

    Cash bars are not cool b/c guests shouldn't have to pay for anything at an event you host for them. Plus, many people don't bring cash with them. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • allispainallispain member
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    I vote option 4 but minus the signature drink - unless it's really basic, it could end up costing a bit more than the budget allows if it's really that tight.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    You can't ask guests to pay for their drinks or bring them.  Both are really rude.  

    I would offer beer and wine only and have it served by a professional bartender.  The bartender will prevent guests from serving (and over serving) themselves, and will be able to cut guests off when they go to far.  
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  • SilverSarahBSilverSarahB member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I know that it isn't the most common opinion, however, as a guest I would 100% the ability to purchase hard liquor drinks over being "stuck with" beer and wine, since I don't drink either.  I wouldn't be offended or feel uncared for as a guest in this situation. I always bring extra money to events (like weddings) in case something like this happens.  Now, I know that my opinion isn't the most common opinion, I just wanted to bring it up AS an opinion.
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  • EmilyEastondotcomEmilyEastondotcom
    First Comment
    In every way, including alcohol, you have the wedding you can afford.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    SilverSarahB said:
    I know that it isn't the most common opinion, however, as a guest I would 100% the ability to purchase hard liquor drinks over being "stuck with" beer and wine, since I don't drink either.  I wouldn't be offended or feel uncared for as a guest in this situation. I always bring extra money to events (like weddings) in case something like this happens.  Now, I know that my opinion isn't the most common opinion, I just wanted to bring it up AS an opinion.
    Thing is, many other guests don't, and you're not entitled to expect anyone to serve you alcohol, free or not, at a wedding.  However, all guests are entitled to expect not to have to have money to pay for anything at a wedding.

    I vote for #2, which is really your only polite option.   Only offer what you can afford to pay for yourself.  No cash bars, no BYOBs.
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Whoa.  I thought "bring your own booze" as the OP wrote it meant the couple brought it in rather than buying from the venue.  Definitely not #1.
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  • mybestfriendswedding15mybestfriendswedding15
    First Comment First Answer
    Thank you! I will definitely show her this thread. I would much rather her do #3 than #1, but like I stated #2 is what makes sense to me. I know this is her wedding and it is really up to her and her FI, but as MOH/unofficial wedding planner, I would love for her to have a memorable wedding for the right reasons. 
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  • alithebridealithebride member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    option 6: host 1 red wine, 1 white wine, 2 beers and 2 siggy cocktails. open bar for that all night.

    it's important that your bride realize that (aside of a dry wedding) if someone wants to get drunk they will do with byob, open bar, cash bar, limited bar etc...

    there is another option. hold off on the date until they can afford to do it the right way.

     

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  • ElcaBElcaB member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    My advice is to skip the signature drink and stick with beer and wine only, and, if necessary, limit alcoholic beverages to cocktail hour only and have a dry reception. I've been to weddings where they run out of alcohol mid-reception and it's not fun. Just make sure your guests know what to expect. 

    I'd suggest refraining from BYOB or a cash bar. Good luck!
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
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    StageManager14 said:
    ClaireyBee said:
    My advice is to skip the signature drink and stick with beer and wine only, and, if necessary, limit alcoholic beverages to cocktail hour only and have a dry reception. I've been to weddings where they run out of alcohol mid-reception and it's not fun. Just make sure your guests know what to expect. 

    I'd suggest refraining from BYOB or a cash bar. Good luck!
    How is it any more fun to drink for an hour, then have them close the bar than to drink for 3 hours then have them close the bar?  Whatever is being served should be served the WHOLE time.  If that means the whole event is dry, then the whole event is dry.
    This






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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