Moms and Maids

Best Man drama

corilynn84corilynn84 member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited June 2013 in Moms and Maids
OK so I will try to make this as short as possible and easy to understand:

My soon to be hubby's Best Man recently divorced from a mutual friend. I still keep in contact with her and before the divorce she was invited to the wedding, and still is. They are in the midst of a nasty divorce, and the make matters worse one of the reasons for that is the other woman our BM was cheating on his wife with.....they are now officially a couple. I know what Etiquette states that b/c the BM is now in a "serious" relationship i should invite his new girlfriend, but to be honest I DONT WANT TO. I know it sounds childish but I would prefer the least amount of drama that day. The former wife and the new girlfriend in the same room for hours does not sound like a good idea to me. I will say now that I will not UN-invite my friend, and of-course the Best Man will be at the wedding too.
Both former husband and wife know the other is going and when I sent them the invitation i made sure to only put their names so neither would have the option to bring a +1.
Talking to my fiance he is totally understanding and agrees but doesn't want to get into the middle, and I can understand his side. I just could use some advice from my fellow brides.

Re: Best Man drama

  • I would invite her. Sit them at different tables and they can act like adults for one night. It might be nice to give your friend a +1 too.
  • I think you should have faith on these two women that they can behave like the mature adults that they are and not stir up drama at your wedding.
    And if you don't think they will be mature about it, then perhaps you should consider the fact that you are friends with someone who can not behave like a mature adult at someone else's wedding.

    Your fiance is right and very wise. Don't get into the middle of this. It's just not your place. Divorce sucks. Divorce due to cheating really sucks. But you disinviting either of them can't possibly help matters. I totally understand that you don't want this new girlfriend there, but not inviting her will mean you are the one causing drama. And not inviting your friend means your friend now can't come just because you thought they can't handle themselves like adults.

    I would absolutely allow your friend to bring a date. Seat her and her date separately from her ex and his new girlfriend. They will barely have contact all night.
    Definitely tell someone at the venue, like a manager or matre d or who ever that if they see any shenanigans, they have your full permission to ask them to leave.
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  • if they are an official couple the new girlfriend should be invited--yes, the situation sucks, but its the proper thing to do.  Maybe one or the other will decide on their own that they do not want to go to avoid the drama, or hopefully they can both suck it up and be adults and leave their drama outside for a few hours.  Give your friend a +1 so she has someone there with her if she chooses. 

    I was in the same situation.  My brother and his ex-girlfriend broke up pretty recently after we got engaged-- they have a son, who was my ring bearer.  My brother has a new girlfriend.  My parents were against inviting the new girlfriend, but I told them no, we had to invite her.  My brothers ex was of course invited too and we gave her the option of having a +1.  My brother came with his new girlfriend; his ex decided it would be too awkward so chose not to go.  we missed her, but we understood (as did she).  My nephew came with my brother and his girlfriend--she was great with my nephew, my brother was happy and there was no drama. 
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    Anniversary
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