Hey Ladies,
So, my MOH is planning on throwing me a bachelorette party of sorts. She seems pretty excited about it, which is awesome. All she's told me is that I get to know the date, but that's it. The one thing I told her is that I don't want drinking to be a big factor in it (dry wedding, I rarely drink, and one BM NEVER drinks). She was completely ok with that.
On the day of my shower, I was talking to my mom and SIL (who's a BM). The b-party came up, and my mom asked "I'm invited, right?". I was caught off guard and said something along the lines "well....I hadn't really planned on it....but I haven't really given it much thought either, so I don't know". My mom seemed confused, as if she thought it was a given that she'd be included. Then SIL took over and started reprimanding me for not inviting her. "She's your mom, she's in the WP, of course she has to be invited!..." She gave me a really hard time about it. Is she right? My mom is the MOB, but she's not technically in the WP, correct? I DO NOT, repeat DO NOT want my mom there, regardless of what we're doing. I feel very uncomfortable being myself around her, and would be a nervous wreck, and very closed off. (This is how I tend to be in her presence). We have a long history that I won't get into here, but let's just say we have issues. But she's paying for the bulk of the reception, so I feel obligated to invite her.
At this point, I don't even want a bachelorette party anymore. It doesn't seem to be worth the drama. I don't want to hurt my mom (although I think she'd get over it), and I don't want to get crap from my SIL. I know I can decline, and MOH will be disappointed, but understanding. If I was allowed to dictate what we did for the party, then this would be easier. But I know that's a big no-no. My only say is the guest list (I think?) All FI and I want is to have a get together with everyone in the WP and go bowling or play board games. But it's not our place to say. Part of me wants to just decline the whole thing and ask MOH if I could just spend some time hanging out with her. I'd be happy with that.
That was a bit vent-y. I guess what my real question is, how much control do I have here? Do I have a say on any of this? Should I just decline? TIA.