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Just Engaged & Not Sure What To Do

mmcgee2mmcgee2 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Just Engaged and Proposals

We just got engaged on Sunday (6/9) :)

We've decided to get married August of 2014, but I'm not sure if I should start thinking about the wedding much.  It feels like 14 months is such a long time.  Should we start planning, just talk about ideas, or relax for a couple months before we start thinking about it?  I really appreciate your help!

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Re: Just Engaged & Not Sure What To Do

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Congratulations! From what I've seen around here, you should set your budget first and then start working on your guest list. Everything else seems to fall into place after that.
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  • mmcgee2mmcgee2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Do you think it's too early to start actively planning?
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  • KellyVarellas26KellyVarellas26 member
    First Comment
    Congrats!!!! I don't think its early just take things slowly and create a list and budget first.
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  • calliopeia2013calliopeia2013 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited June 2013
    Congrats!  I don't know where you live, but in my area, vendors (especially venues and photographers!) start getting booked 1-2 years in advance.  When we were 14 months out, we were full-on vendor shopping, and there were folks who were already booked for our wedding date.  We had all of our major vendors booked by about a year out.  If you're have a Saturday evening wedding especially, and if you're in a big wedding area, you should really start looking now.  Your local board may give you an idea of what a realistic planning time frame is for your area.  (Budget and guest list first, though, as PPs have said!!)
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  • manateehuggermanateehugger member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I started actively planning about 18 months out. We live in a city and the best vendors/venues book quickly. So I went for it. 

    Basically I got all the big stuff out of the way (church, reception venue, catering, flowers, etc.) and now am just kind of slowly sorting the details out over the next year. 

    First step is to decide on a budget!
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  • pesematologypesematology member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited June 2013
    It's not too early. Most vendors will book that far in advance.

    It probably is too early to go into full wedding planning mode, however. Your enthusiasm will ebb and flow over the coming months, so just don't burn yourself out. I did zero planning for the first eight months of my engagement.

    Here's what I did once I was ready to start planning:

    1. Pick an approximate time frame (haven't set an exact date yet, but chose a season and a year.) During the course of this, my partner and I also talked about what size wedding we might want, and what details were important to each of us.
    2. Call family to ask if there are other events during that season to avoid clashing with. (Most things aren't planned that far ahead, so there wasn't much of anything.) During this process my parents also offered some money and helped me get an idea of an approximate budget.
    3. Decide what city to get married in (We chose the one we currently live in, rather than either of our hometowns, because it's easiest to get to.)
    4. Make a spreadsheet of venues in the area. (I included ones that looked cool even if they were out of my price range, for comparison.)
    5. Make appointments to look at venues, with hopes to have one booked within the next month or so. Since our exact date and number of guests is still flexible, I'm hoping that will give us some leverage to get what we want without spending too much.
    6. After that, the next step is to make a spreadsheet of caterers that are approved for the location we choose, and pick one of them.
    7. Once we have a caterer and a venue we'll be able to calculate the cost per guest of the reception, and that will help us determine how many people we can afford to invite. Once we've done that we'll make a guest list. I'm hoping to have the guest list finalized at least six months before the wedding, which would about nine months from now. So while I'm already planning I'm definitely not in a huge rush.

    Other details will get filled in as we go along.
    "I wish yo azz all tha dopest up in yo' marriages"
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Here is what we did:

    Talked about the kind of wedding we wanted to have, set a budget, made a potential guest list, and then started looking for venues to meet our numbers. 

    Congrats and happy planning!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • allierae14allierae14
    First Comment
    Congrats!

    I also am planning on next fall and we have already gone on our first venue tour. We started so early because a lot of the dates we were talking about are already taken!

    We plan on booking the venue then taking a few months to enjoy the engagement before diving back into planning!

    Marrying my high school sweetheart - October 2014
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  • LAM524LAM524 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    I dont think its too early at all. We started as soon as we got engaged (17 months out). Boy,  these last 6 months have FLOWN by!

    As soon as we picked the date, we talked budget and then guest list. Our first search was for a venue and the first 3 or so that we liked were booked already. Our favorite DJ was booked also!

    Good luck and plan away!!! Congrats!!

    tinkerbell gif photo: Tinkerbell stuck in keyhole animated gif Peterpan2_coince9e.gif
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  • michellemayawheelermichellemayawheeler member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary

    Relax and enjoy the ride. So right now, you just need a planner and a great checklist. At the 12 month mark, then you should get the basics out of the way. So you need planner, an officant, sites, food, cake, photographer. Then at the 8 month mark, flowers, dress, music. 6 month mark, plan the rest with invitation at least if they are going to be hand written. 4 month, if not handwritten invitation and alteration decesion, the guest list. So finish your check list.

    Three days of planning, one hour and tha't it.

    Donot forget to date even on the cheap during your engagement process.

    Congratulations.

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  • Jessica41381Jessica41381 member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Here in Maryland venues book very quickly especially for a Saturday wedding. Our reception venue has bookings up until 2015 for some dates. We had a contract for the venue and caterer this time last year. So I am a firm believer that its never too early.
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  • jademarie08jademarie08 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I don't think it's too early. what if major dilemmas come up later?? i'm recently engaged and we are also having an august 2014 wedding. we already booked our wedding site and reception area and some areas we liked were already booked up for all of august 2014! i love that we have so much time to work things out rather than stress and be rushed! do what is right for you :) 
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