Wedding Party

Wedding Party Nightmare! Need to vent

Let me start with this... I swore this would never happen to me! I was involved in choosing the entire wedding party, and my fiance and I chose only a few people we were very close to and felt would be a positive influence on our day and our life. Sadly, you can just never predict how people are going to be.

The problem actually started, surprisingly, with one of the groomsmen. I had been hearing rumors that he was telling people I was trying to get with him, I was desperate to get married, etc. It came from a source that wasn't exactly credible, but it bothered me enough that I talked to Taylor (my fiance) and we decided that I needed to confront the groomsman and get the whole story. We decided quite a while ago that everyone will have their own opinions, and if people don't think we should get married, that is their own opinion which we disagree with but there's no reason to argue. We are happy and can go our own way without the negativity.

So I confronted the groomsman, and the truth came pouring out. Everything we heard was true. He even went so far as so tell me that he thought everything was fake; that I was faking being happy in hopes that by some miracle, I would actually become happy. Keep in mind, this is someone who hasn't made an effort to see me or talk to me in about 7 months (a big red flag and part of the reason I confronted him rather than passing it off as just a rumor). I told him that that is his opinion and it is entirely up to him whether he will move on, be happy for us, and be a part of our special day, or he can just go his own way and not be part of the wedding at all. He, himself, told me he was choosing to be out of our lives altogether.

How does this happen?! While I'm a little shocked, I am relieved that I got to the bottom of it and that we won't have that negativity on our special day, but oh my! How does someone lie so well for so long? This is someone I have known since we were in 4th grade, and for a long time I considered him like a brother to me. I am a big mix of emotions- relieved, angry, sad... I never expected something like this to happen.

Anyways, like I said, I am just glad we found out his true intentions before the wedding and that negativity won't be there.

Re: Wedding Party Nightmare! Need to vent

  • Let me start with this... I swore this would never happen to me! I was involved in choosing the entire wedding party, and my fiance and I chose only a few people we were very close to and felt would be a positive influence on our day and our life. Sadly, you can just never predict how people are going to be.

    The problem actually started, surprisingly, with one of the groomsmen. I had been hearing rumors that he was telling people I was trying to get with him, I was desperate to get married, etc. It came from a source that wasn't exactly credible, but it bothered me enough that I talked to Taylor (my fiance) and we decided that I needed to confront the groomsman and get the whole story. We decided quite a while ago that everyone will have their own opinions, and if people don't think we should get married, that is their own opinion which we disagree with but there's no reason to argue. We are happy and can go our own way without the negativity.

    So I confronted the groomsman, and the truth came pouring out. Everything we heard was true. He even went so far as so tell me that he thought everything was fake; that I was faking being happy in hopes that by some miracle, I would actually become happy. Keep in mind, this is someone who hasn't made an effort to see me or talk to me in about 7 months (a big red flag and part of the reason I confronted him rather than passing it off as just a rumor). I told him that that is his opinion and it is entirely up to him whether he will move on, be happy for us, and be a part of our special day, or he can just go his own way and not be part of the wedding at all. He, himself, told me he was choosing to be out of our lives altogether.

    How does this happen?! While I'm a little shocked, I am relieved that I got to the bottom of it and that we won't have that negativity on our special day, but oh my! How does someone lie so well for so long? This is someone I have known since we were in 4th grade, and for a long time I considered him like a brother to me. I am a big mix of emotions- relieved, angry, sad... I never expected something like this to happen.

    Anyways, like I said, I am just glad we found out his true intentions before the wedding and that negativity won't be there.

    My MOH stepped down from my wedding. I was upset for a few weeks, then got over it. We are no longer friends. Be glad you found this out before the wedding. It could have been a lot worse. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I am sorry. I'm sure you must be upset but it sounds like you handled everything the right way. I'm assuming you and FI were both friends with him. I hope you can both start to heal!
  • Yes, it hurts, but I realize that we are better off this way. I mostly just feel blindsided by all of it.
  • Well we still have 10 months before the wedding :) we accept that we cant make everyone happy for us, but i wont have a person like that play such a big role in my wedding. One of my bridesmaids, who is a mutual friend, thinks he resents me because he hasnt been happy in a long time. He became a father at 18 and was never able to make it work with the mother, and its no secret that hes not totally happy with how everything worked out.
  • I'm really happy that you found this out now, rather than after the wedding. I'm very sorry the rumors turned out to be true. It sucks having people talk nasty about you behind your back. Good riddance to him!
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  • gmcr78gmcr78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    That's really unfortunate, but it sounds like you and your FI handled it like adults.  Kudos to you.  Sorry you had to lose a friend, but it sounds like it was for the best since he was so negative for the both of you.
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