Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion
Options

A decision I'm happy with....

TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hi guys - so some of you know my FI's team at work was laid off the same week we got engaged. This has been tough on him emotionally, as he is still looking for a new job 6 months later. And, of course, a strain financially as I'm supporting both of us. So, I had my heart set on this beautiful diamond wedding band, and even with our friend making it, it came to $4,000 (much more than we were expecting). I was going to borrow money from my parents, and I know FI feels like it's one more thing he can't do. So, today I ordered a beautiful, simple platinum band for under $400, and I am so, so, so happy with the decision. It took off a tremendous amount of stress.

Just thought I would share this, if others are in this situation and feel torn between what they had planned on, and what they can do.....

Report Reply to Post

Re: A decision I'm happy with....

  • Options
    MayDay513MayDay513 member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    That definitely sounds hard. But I am really happy for you, that you were able to get something that you are still happy with.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    musicalcanadianbridemusicalcanadianbride member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Good for you! Your $400 band will mean just as much as the $4000 band when he puts it on your finger. I hope he finds a job soon.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks guys!!! This relationship has taught me so much, about being a good partner, about what's important, about so many things that I didn't expect. And this time of financial strain has REALLY taught us a lot about each other, and I know beyond any doubt I am marrying the best man out there (tied with all of your DHs, of course!)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    RedJacks25RedJacks25 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment

    TheBaysideBride said:
    Thanks guys!!! This relationship has taught me so much, about being a good partner, about what's important, about so many things that I didn't expect. And this time of financial strain has REALLY taught us a lot about each other, and I know beyond any doubt I am marrying the best man out there (tied with all of your DHs, of course!)
    Same for me. FI was laid off about 6 months ago, and I've been the sole bread-winner since. It has been so, so difficult and frustrating, but it has taught us both so much about each other and has strengthened our relationship (when I think it could have easily done the opposite).

    I'm happy you were able to find something you love!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    BMoreBride6BMoreBride6 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Good for you!  I'm sure it means so much to him to be able to buy this on his (and your?) own without needing to borrow.  You can ALWAYS get a diamond band later, you can never change how much it could have hurt his pride 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AmsdragonflyAmsdragonfly member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    That's great!! So glad you could come to this decision. :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    wittykitty14wittykitty14 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Decisions like that are definitely hard to make.  My FI has had an unsteady job history this past year, for reasons beyond our control.  It's very hard sometimes.  We've had to cut back on a few things that we had our heart set on too.

    I'm so glad you're happy with your decision!  I think it was a great choice!  You can always get a diamond anniversary band someday!  :)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    tiny specktiny speck member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    That sounds great! I'm glad you're happy :)
    Report Reply
  • Options
    cmclairecmclaire member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm so glad you're happy with this choice.  Sounds like a great decision to me.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited August 2013
    Post removed due to GBCK
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

    image

    Anniversary

    Report Reply
  • Options
    CheleLynCheleLyn member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    TheBaysideBride said:
    Thanks guys!!! This relationship has taught me so much, about being a good partner, about what's important, about so many things that I didn't expect. And this time of financial strain has REALLY taught us a lot about each other, and I know beyond any doubt I am marrying the best man out there (tied with all of your DHs, of course!)
    Mine has been laid off since November...right as I quit the job I was at. Fortunately I still have my own money that comes in and we have been able to live off it. I know it wasn't something he's been happy with, a blow to the ego. And it was a major reason we had to postpone our wedding til next year.
    Thankfully he finally starts a new job tomorrow out of town, which means he's gone to the city during the week and home on the weekends. Not ideal, but that's the best situation for now. 
    The last seven months have definitely been stressful, but it has also shown us we can do this whole married thing...together 24/7, managing the tight finances, communication, and just not letting little things be bigger issues than they really are. It has been a real exercise for me to let go of things I can't control.
    A major thing with this wedding planning is realizing what is important to us and what would just be for show...and by that I just mean, if we can't afford it, we don't need it. Things have definitely been simplified, and I'm totally ok with that!

    It's kind of amazing the way priorities can change, even in the midst of the chaos :)
    ~*~June 21, 2014~*~


    Report Reply
  • Options
    CheleLynCheleLyn member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Peledreamsofrain said:
    My H wanted to buy me the biggest ring in the universe, but our finances were just not going to let that happen.  In fact, at the time, he was just out of law school and looking for a job, so finances weren't going to let any ring happen.

    Fortunately, fate intervened and family heirloom rings were found around that time, and given to my H so he could propose to me.  

    Between my wedding band and my engagement ring, they aren't worth 1k.  I don't care.  They are from a lady who was engaged in 1926 and had a successful marriage and happy life.  That means more to me than a huge honking stone.  So what if in 1920 they didn't have access to super clear diamonds in Idaho?  Anyone can get ahold of those.  Not everyone can get a family heirloom filled with a lifetime of love.
    I love this! :)
    ~*~June 21, 2014~*~


    Report Reply
  • Options
    TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment

    Thanks ladies, for all of this!! FI found out today he didn't get a job that he has been on three interviews with, and it was such a blow. I was sitting here thinking, "are other women going through this??" and obviously there are. Some mornings I just feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders, because i have a demanding job, additional outside work i have to do that's related to my job but is unpaid (i.e. campaign work), the wedding and FI's job hunt - not being able to help him find a job is killing me. I'm a problem solver, I've found at least a dozen people jobs in the last year, and none of my contacts has come through. My best friend calmed me down today, and reminded me that we're not going hungry, we can afford our home, so I have to take a breath.

    And ditto PPs, - this time, as stressful as it is, has made me realize that we really are taking each other in good time and bad, richer and poorer, etc. Huge electronic hugs to you guys.

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards