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Unconventional Bride... Small Wedding, and Renewing Vows later...

laurammoriartylaurammoriarty member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Catholic Weddings

Hi Everyone! I'm Laura. Matt and I actually got married on 4/13/13, in a small catholic ceremony with our immediate family and bridal party only. Many others are not very happy... But we have plans (already booked) to renew our vows in a full catholic mass, and full reception with family and friends.

Has anyone else taken this path? Any suggestions on dealing with negative nelly family members?

The most important thing, is that Matt and I are happier than we have ever been! And are looking forward to our big celebration!

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Re: Unconventional Bride... Small Wedding, and Renewing Vows later...

  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    What's the negativity about?  The vow renewal? Or the fact that you had a family-only wedding in the first place?

    I'm not a fan of vow renewals, and I certainly wouldn't do one just to make others happy.  I feel like you must have had reasons not to do the big wedding with everyone in the first place... why would you want to do it all over again months later?

    I'm not trying to derail your plans, just honestly confused.  I'm glad you're having a Catholic mass and everything, and I wish you all the joy in your marriage.  I do wonder why people are being negative though.

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  • lalaith50lalaith50 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I'm curious too why people are being negative. IMHO I don't really appreciate "vow renewals" b/c I'm like, "Did you not mean it the first time around?" 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Why not just have a party to celebrate the marriage instead of doing a vow renewal with a larger group? I guess I am a little confused...why did you decide to not do a reception when you got married? I am not trying to be nosy, but was their a good reason like work or school obligations? I would just be afraid the large reception afterwards looks gift grabby especially if you are inviting the same people that were at the ceremony and they brought you gifts.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker

    people are upset because they wanted to see you get married.  you are already married so I don't get the point of a do-over either.  it wont make them happy because they still wont witness you getting married but rather a re-enactment.

    the vow renewals ive seen are usually at 25 years or some other milestone and the vows are simply repeated before the priest at the end of one of the regular Saturday evening mass and then everyone goes out to a dinner somewhere. 

    im guessing you had a small wedding due to money or other reasons - which is PERFECTLY FINE.  if people don't like that you did it that way, too bad - they WILL get over it.

    unless this is something you really want to do for yourselves, I wouldn't go through the hassle personally because honestly it doesn't really mean anything because again you already got married.

     

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  • monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2013
    Etiquette issues aside... I don't know how people can stand to go through it all again, and so soon.  Planning my wedding was stressful and exhausting!  I'm just glad to enjoy married life now, lol!

    ETA:  Although I could totally go for another honeymoon!  :)

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  • AjulianaAjuliana member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Just wondering...if you value the sacrament of marriage so much that you are hurrying to celebrate it in the Church, why did you have a civil marriage earlier?  Because to the Church, you're not married at all, and shouldn't be living as husband and wife yet.  

    Vow renewals within a few months are a little silly, honestly...vow renewals are for when you've stood the test of time as a couple and actually have a milestone to celebrate.  I would think a private convalidation would be appropriate, with a reception to follow.  A big do-over, which is not the same as a convalidation, is not really appropriate etiquettewise.
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    Previously Alaynajuliana


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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Combo Breaker

    she was married in the church at her small wedding.  she already has her sacrament.

    Matt and I actually got married on 4/13/13, in a small catholic ceremony with our immediate family and bridal party only.

    she just wants a PPD becuase family got upset that they werent invited.

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  • newlyseliskinewlyseliski member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    I think you're going to have a tough time with many family members regardless and do agree with several of the PP's that many would be disappointed that they weren't able to witness your sacramental marriage in April if there isn't a serious reason for it beyond personal preference.  I have several friends who have done something similar, but most were either for geographic reasons or military obligations to work around.  If you do have extenuating circumstances that necessitated this separation of the wedding from the vow renewal/reception, I'm sure the nay-sayers may be less upset if you explained those circumstances to them.
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  • AjulianaAjuliana member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Sorry reading fail! Still no re-do, just have a reception.
    image

    Previously Alaynajuliana


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  • crunchymamaof2 crunchymamaof2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper

    Would a Catholic Church actually go for this? Like a whole re-do "wedding" that soon after the actual marriage? I thought the church frowned upon that.

    Just have a big anniversary party on your anniversary. Don't do a fake wedding. And unless there's been a devastating illness or heavy issues in your marriage a vow renewal this early looks super gift grabby.

    After 6 years and 2 boys, finally tying the knot on October 27th, 2013!

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