I suppose I have a 'what would you do?' type of question. It's a novel, so sorry in advance!
My FI and I are very quiet, laid back types. We are ALWAYS the couple that everyone else is trying to drag onto the dance floor against our wishes. We like to have a good time, honest! We just aren't really party animals. I come from a very rural southern area and weddings aren't super fancy... generally, dancing isn't a huge part of the event and they end fairly early. My side of the guest list is mostly older family and a very small close circle of friends. FI's side of the guest list is a totally different animal. The recent weddings we've been to on that side are all out parties.
We are from different states and recently moved to the exact half-way point, and the wedding is where we currently live. Almost every single person will be travelling at least 6 hours. We're going to have a lovely garden wedding, beautiful historic venue, amazing catering, a full open bar. We'll be playing background music, and may even do a first dance/father daughter dance, if the room set-up allows. We decided not to do a DJ or band. It was a hard decision to make, because I know that -- on his side -- even casual acquaintances RSVP 'yes' because of how crazy fun the weddings can be. I hate to say it, but I don't think our wedding will be "a blast." I think it'll be a lovely, meaningful, personal day with an amazing dinner party to follow.
I am completely of the opinion that we are all ~30 year-olds and are perfectly capable of entertaining ourselves by celebrating, eating cake until we're green, and catching up with loved ones. But I'm worried that his friends will travel 6 hours and be totally disappointed! I have been casually spreading the word that it's not a blow-out party, but FI refuses to do this on his side. I know I'm just being my self-conscious self, but is it inappropriate to let people spread the word that this is a low-key wedding, not a party? Am I crazy? This is the absolute ONE thing that is making me terrified during planning, and I'm finally breaking down and asking TK ladies!
ETA: Holy typos, Batman.