Plus sized and never blogged by photographer - coincidence?

ChiGirl2013 · May 2013

It has been a little less than a month since our wedding and it was definitely everything I had ever dreamed of.... and more! We could not have been happier (aside from one vendor that ended up being not-so-professional) but all in all, we couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.

We ADORED our photographer and she took some really amazing shots! She is in pretty high demand so I was surprised when our album was online after only 3 weeks. I kept stalking her blog and facebook page for teasers, which would mean she was working on our album but there never were any, aside from 1 shot of a champagne glass. She has since posted 4 events that happened after ours, and still no shots of ours have made it to her blog or facebook page, even though the other teasers/blogs have been posted within days of when they occurred. I'm starting to wonder if it has to do with the fact that all the other brides are a size 2 and I'm a size 26. Looking through her blog, as well as several others, I haven't seen a bride bigger than a size 16 or so. Has anyone else noticed this?

I'm not going to say anything because we really did like her and we already have our album so at this point who cares about teasers? It just makes me sad that we live in the sort of world where heavier brides don't get their time in the limelight like the thinner ones do - like somehow my bigger dress and wider hips are going to ruin someone's day or cause a blog to lose followers, even though our outdoor ceremony was gorgeous and I really do think some of her photos could win photography contests because of her artistic eye and her unique style.

RaptorSLH · May 2013

I have noticed the trend of skinnier brides only in blogs, yes. I think it's a shame, not only from our perspective, but because it's easy to make a size 2 look good. Same thing for older brides - how many of those size 2s look like they haven't graduated yet? If you really want to showcase skill, make my size 28, or the middle-aged couple,look as magical as the sorrority girl does.

(Which is why I am so impressed that my photographers managed to do just what with my unphotogenic self, and did put us on their blog. Guess who I recommend to everyone I meet now?)

QueerFemme · May 2013

Awww. I'm sorry you had that experience. it may be that she is blogging people that she knows well, or some other reason. But, I don't blame you for thinking it's because you were a plus size bride.

Our photographer not only blogged my plus size self, but, we are in her advertisements and flyers. So, I know there are some good photographers out there that don't care what size you are.

kspencer1284 · May 2013

I don't think I have ever seen photos on websites or in portfolios of plus size brides. It is very daunting.

Cokezerofreak · May 2013

It's the same on the Knot, the featured knotties when you visit "Community" are never plus sized.

QueerFemme · May 2013

Cokezerofreak said:

It's the same on the Knot, the featured knotties when you visit "Community" are never plus sized.

I've noticed that also. I actually submitted our photos to be featured in the galleries on the same sex gallery. Everyone there is thin and white.

Miss Esa · May 2013

I had the same thing happen, our photographer posts all her E-shoots on her Facebook page about a month after she takes them. We had our E-shoot in July and she never posted the photos online.

GoofyAssChick · May 2013

This thread just makes me sad. The wedding industry is all about the almighty dollar after all so it shouldn't really surprise me. But it's something I hadn't really realized fully until now. There is a website called Pretty Pear Bride I follow regularly on Facebook and Pinterest that features bigger women. But really that is the only one I can think of that feature plus-sized women so prominently. Boo on your photographer and boo on the wedding blogosphere.

QueerFemme · May 2013

EllaYoung said:

Try being middle-aged and plus-sized. Guaranteed invisibility.

I really do think it depends on the photographer. I am going to be 43 in 2 months, and I'm chubby !! I still got blogged, facebooked, and I'm on my photographer's website. Even my boudior shots are on her FB and were on her website for a while.

blissing · May 2013

Yup. But I want all the photographers out there to know that I REFUSE to hire one that doesn't feature people of all ages and sizes.

Even so, I hardly ever see any brides my size--26--on a photographer's website. If I saw one in the area I'm in I'd hire them immediately. The one I'm planning on at least has what look like size 16s.

[Deleted User] · May 2013

Why not just ask her what's up with your teasers? My first thoughts were possibly the weddings were smaller but really there is no excuse. Those I know who do photography don't hold back on size only those who opt to not have their pics on their site (I signed to not have mine because I didn't want to to see me live a while back because I wasn't suppose to be in the shots for pics of my kids).

ChiGirl2013 · May 2013

Like I said, teasers are a moot point because we already have the full album. The whole point of teasers and being blogged are to get you excited about getting the full album/CD, and to give people a taste of what's to come. We've already passed that point so who cares about teasers at this stage of the game?

I was just curious if it was just us, or if other plus size brides also got left out when it came to getting put on blogs and such.

lasvegasveganbride · May 2013

I'm so sorry you were made to feel like that!

Recently I went shopping with my friend Crissi for her wedding gown. She is a street size 18 soooo maybe 22 in gowns and the store had a few stalls out in the open and a few dressing stalls in the back. We were ushered into the back and I noticed that all the brides in the back were plus sized and all skinnies were out front for everyone to see. I didn't mention it but one of the other brides threw a fit when they wouldnt move her out front. I felt horrible for all the brides when they realized what was going on.

ChiGirl2013 · May 2013

I don't doubt it. Discriminating based on weight is one of the last socially accepted forms of discrimination out there. I've been dealing with it all my life. Hopefully that will change in my daughter's lifetime, once people start realizing that "beauty" and "ugly" come in all sizes.

elio23 · May 2013

This makes me sad too. I was very happy with my photographer. He doesn't really blog every event but adds pictures to his website and facebook page occasionally. He added two of ours but I did notice that he used the same pictures over and over again. They were on his flyers, business cards, facebook page, hanging in his office...etc. It didn't bother me because I liked my pictures. But recently defriended him on facebook. His posts asked for models he could shoot to make his portfolio bigger. No big deal, but he always added "size 0-6 please". After seeing it 3 times I couldn't take it anymore. He's a nice guys and a good photographer but those posts were a poor choice in my opinion.

rustytammy · May 2013

I read this thread yesterday and it made me really sad. I started to wonder if my photographer will do this. I also have a niece who does wedding photography for a living and not not long after I read all of this she had a teaser on FB of a couple with the bride being plus sized. I sent her a message thanking her for doing this!

ChiGirl2013 · May 2013

That's pathetic, @elio. I would let him know that's the reason you unfriended him, and if you opt not to send others his way because of that, I would let him know that as well.

QueerFemme · May 2013

ugh @elio23 I would absolutely send him a message and tell him how offensive that is. that is horrible.

ahende04 · June 2013

I think that photographers (specifically) do themselves harm when they do this. As a plus-size bride I want to ensure that my photographer can place a plus size bride in positions that will not accentuate any weight or trouble spots. If I saw a photographer spotlight or show off work with a plus size bride/groom/wedding party/etc. I would be more apt to pay more or perhaps buy more from them because I will be confident they can do it right!!! I would even suggest that we (plus size brides) stand up for this when it comes to photography!!!!

elio23 · June 2013

@rustytammy and Chigirl2103- I wanted to. I really did. But when I told my husband about it he didn't understand why I even defriended him. (He's not overweight at all, standard medium size). I had originally planned on making him our photographer for all special occasions but will not be using him anymore. I'm 17 weeks pregnant now and have been researching other photographers for a future maternity shoot. If he asks why I didn't ask him I'll be sure to be honest. Thanks for the reply!

blissing · June 2013

I've been thinking about this issue and I want to say that I have also been erased from events, as well. When there are multiple pictures of an event and I'm not in any of them, then I know that I have been removed on purpose.

kayleern2008 · June 2013

I found my photographer who works out of a plus-size bridal salon so she ends up doing a lot of plus-size weddings. I am lucky that I found her because I feel soo comfortable with her. She's not super well-known yet but is getting bigger.

alyssalang · July 2013

I used to be a wedding photographer (not anymore, got disillusioned with the whole industry) and I always made sure to post each and every wedding I shot whether the couple was thin, heavier, 19 years old or in their 50's. Everybody deserves their time in the spotlight-maybe its because I am plus size myself, but I was so over other photographers only posting their thin, white, blonde 22 year old brides I quit and sold my gear. Its much happier on this side of things.

LincolnElizabethH · July 2013

This has been weighing on my mind for weeks since I first read this thread! The same thing has happened to me. My photographer announces almost every weekend that she is doing engagement shoots, weddings, etc. She never posted anything about doing our engagement photos. She also posts teasers on her fFB page at least once a week of what she did the prior weekend. I have yet to see a picture of my engagement photos on there. I wasn't even that impressed with my photos and I feel like asking her how many plus-sized people she has shot before. I'm hoping for more flattering angles for the wedding.

mousey1985 · July 2013

I know the pictures are technically the photographer's property and he can do with them what he wants but I am secretly glad ours didn't post more than 2 photos of our E-shoot. I am in no way ashamed, but I am a private person and do not want to have my photos used more than necessary without my permission. I probably won't post any photos on here, either!

Plus sized and never blogged by photographer - coincidence?

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