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DD just engaged -- how do I do this? :)

WineNotWineNot member
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in Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth
My dd just got engaged. I've always considered myself competent but quickly realized I am a bit clueless about this wedding thing. :) Hoping you friendly people can help a gal out.

Initial questions:

1). When you buy a made-to-order dress, how much time should you alow? Is it customary to put down a deposit and then pay the balance on receipt? How much of a deposit is usually required?

2). What are your favorite "How to Plan a Wedding" books?

No date set yet ....probabaly summer or fall of 2014. No venue either -- DD lives in California, I life here in DFW, and she's talking about getting married in Florida. Ack!

Thanks in advance!
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Re: DD just engaged -- how do I do this? :)

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    fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2013

    I think they say to allow 6-8 months but in most cases they come much faster than that.  I was told May (4 months) and it came in March. 

    Yes you put down a deposit but sorry, I can't remember how much mine was.  Might have been 50%.

    I did not use a wedding book, I used this forum and magazines. It's not as active now as it was when I planned my wedding though.  I also used The Knot's checklist which is very detailed and shows you what to do a year out, 6-8 months out, 4 months out, etc.  I basically printed it out and went from there.  There is a budget calculator as well.

    First things first are budget and guest list, then venue.  Fall weddings are very popular here in Dallas if you decide to have it here--by the end of this year I would have a date in mind and start looking at venues.  Let us know if we can help.

    Planning the Meal
    With All the Trimmings
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    WineNotWineNot member
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    Many thanks Stephie! I didn't realize there was a checklist and budget calculator -- thanks for pointing this out!

    I'm finding this site difficult to navigate, to be honest. It's not that I'm not tech-savvy or anything -- just find I am having to dig and search for answers to what I thought were simple questions (like how to order a dress). All the ads are overwhelming, too -- just mho. (it's all overwhelming right now, lol! I'll get over it!)

    Thanks again!





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    fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited July 2013

    Yes the Knot has tinkered with their format as of late.  I haven't had to search for anything in a long time since my wedding was in 2009!

    You can also search threads in this forum--that search feature does work pretty well.  There are also other boards like for flowers, reception, photography, etc. but those are international boards--I always found this board the most helpful and never really looked at the others.  However, if you decide to have the wedding in another state, you can go to that local board.

    You can also actually hire a wedding planner if you prefer to go that route.  When you have questions, just make a thread like you did here with your question in the title and you'll get responses.

    Planning the Meal
    With All the Trimmings
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    WineNotWineNot member
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    Yes I've been wondering about a planner.  I'm a little torn, becuase most of the venues we're considering have a list of preferred vendors. Seems like if I have that list and a good event designer, then a planner won't be necessary -- except for maybe "day of" or "month of" -- ?

    Any idea what a planner costs? I realize the charges vary from state to state.  I read once that if you sign on for a full-service planner that you should expect to pay 25% of the total budget to the planner. So if the total budget is $20K, the planner's fee is $5K.  Is this accurate?




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    fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Yeah sorry I can't help with costs as I planned my wedding myself. I did have a venue coordinator but I ended up wishing I had hired a DOC (day of coordinator). Make sure you find out if the venue coordinator will be available to you on the day of the wedding.
    Planning the Meal
    With All the Trimmings
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    cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If you are familiar with Excel, that was the best way we kept track of expenses, guest list, gifts/ thank you cards, and vendors.
    The Knot tools were great for me when setting up my budget so that I didn't forget any categories, but I didn't use it on the site, I always used Excel. 

    I agree that a lot of vendors can book up fast, so you may want to be on your toes these first few months to book the big things, and then you can relax for awhile. 

    If the wedding will be here in Dallas, definitely stick around and ask questions, as everyone here was so kind and helpful when I planned our wedding. Most of my vendors came from recommendations from this board, not from magazines, and not from a Google search.

    I had to put 50% down on my dress (Terry Costa in Dallas), and same as Stephie, they told me 6 months and it came in 3. I do think there is some consideration for wedding dates, as I planned my entire wedding in 7 months and there could have been a 'rush' on it. I wouldn't necessarily rely on that, but it's something to keep in mind.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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    courtski2004courtski2004 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker

    The first books I bought were 'Wedding Etiquette' by Emily Post and a planning binder. The binder helped me document all the research and pricing for vendors, but a homemade binder would work just as well.

    I didn't have a full service planner, but for DOC duties and 4 pre-wedding meetings I paid $1500 in 2011. This was with a certified planner, and I definitely don't regret it. If the budget allows for one, I highly recommend hiring one, especially if you are planning from out of town.

    Just a tip regarding The Knot online tools--this site is very glitchy, so I wouldn't 100% rely on the tools where you upload information (I think there is a guest book tool/seating chart helper/RSVP tracker)...the info could suddenly not be there, so I would just keep tabs on that on your own.

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    professorscienceprofessorscience member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    If you're planning a long-distance wedding, I think a coordinator would be a good idea, just to have someone on the ground where the wedding will be to help you out.  For full-service coordination I paid like $3600 (I think?), but my coordinator has changed her pricing set-up, so I'm not much help there.

    I think deposits on dresses vary from store to store.  I'm fairly certain Mockingbird Bridal made us put down 80%.
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    WineNotWineNot member
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    Thank you all for the advice!
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