Cellphone/Camera ban

Cheetah2B · July 2013

I think no STANDING guests would be fine, and SILENCING phones. We have way too many friends with very small children to even ask they turn their phone off. They ASK if we can keep phones in our purses during work, but they explained its more to keep us from texting. We can't give out our facility number, and I sure as hell aint leaving my phone tucked away on silent for 12 hours. But I'll put it on vibrate in my pocket.

My family is the type to tell someone to sit the F down, and we don't care who you are. If you ain't being paid to photograph, keep your ass in your seat.

But I wouldn't tell them to turn it off. But my moh did have a surprise when she eloped in April, and the grooms BFF wife posted a pix saying congrats and tagged the couple. By the 3rd family member, I had to call and tell her. She was super pissed, bc everyone who went with them, KNEW it was supposed to be a surprise thing.

doeydo · July 2013

Before the ceremony starts I'll probably have the officiant say something about no flash photography and to please turn off all cell phones. I don't really know of anyone who would be getting out of their seat during the ceremony and walking around taking pictures...

[Deleted User] · July 2013

People seriously get up and walk around to randomly take pictures during the ceremony? That seems rude.

As for people who want them to turn it off to "be in the moment" or so there are no 'bad' pictures of them on facebook. Get over it. And yourself.

NYCBruin · July 2013

Somehow I think that if someone is rude enough to get up in the middle of a ceremony and walk around to take pictures, an announcement isn't going to stop them.

As for the facebook thing, just change your settings so you have to approve pictures before they post to your profile. Problem solved.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

OOPS THIS POST WAS MEANT FOR ANOTHER THREAD I AM AN IDIOT.

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

Shefoundadventure said:

I'm planning on putting this note in small print at the bottom of our program. If people choose not to follow it that's ok, but at least I asked. I just really don't want our professional photos being filled with random arms and cellphones.

We’ve hired two amazing wedding photographers from [photographer] who will be capturing the wedding — and we’re inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy the ceremony. We respectfully ask that you consider not using your cell phone and camera during the ceremony, but you’re more than welcome to photograph, post, and tweet about our reception. We’ll be thrilled to share ceremony photos later!

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Shefoundadventure said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Shefoundadventure said:

I'm planning on putting this note in small print at the bottom of our program. If people choose not to follow it that's ok, but at least I asked. I just really don't want our professional photos being filled with random arms and cellphones.

We’ve hired two amazing wedding photographers from [photographer] who will be capturing the wedding — and we’re inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy the ceremony. We respectfully ask that you consider not using your cell phone and camera during the ceremony, but you’re more than welcome to photograph, post, and tweet about our reception. We’ll be thrilled to share ceremony photos later!

Too much? Idk. I know it seems absurd, but literally every wedding I've been to in the past year had an "official" hashtag (one even had a sign requesting quests ONLY tweet using that hashtag). I was just trying to nicely say that I'd rather not a million twitter pictures of our kiss at the altar go up but could care less if people want to do that during the reception. But I'll just leave it out.

I definitely see what you mean. To be honest, I've never taken a picture during a wedding ceremony, so maybe I don't understand. I just think it could come off wrong to instruct adults as to what you want them to do. May I ask why you wouldn't want the pictures up? A lot of people say that candids guests took turned out to be some of their favorites for the day! I feel like worst case scenario you have to untag a few unflattering ones

oxygenenter · July 2013

When my partner's cousin got married, they had a somewhat informal setup where all the guests were standing (small venue, so no seats). Because it was so small, those of us in the wedding party were standing fairly close to the guests. I literally got pushed aside by people who wanted a better angle for their pictures of the ceremony. One guest walked around the back of the arch so they could get a pic from behind the priest of the couple. All you could see when you looked at the guests were camera phones and ipads being held up to get pics. It was ridiculous, beyond rude, and disconcerting for me... since some of the guests were my partner's family/friends as well, I have good reason to worry about some version of this happening at our eventual ceremony (although we'll have seats, at least).

I would want to be polite as others on this thread have emphasized, but I'm not sure how one would still communicate it in a strong enough way to get it across to people who thought it was okay to push a bridesmaid aside to improve their photo angle.... I would prefer to have no one outside the hired photographers taking pictures.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Since you are spending the money on a video, I don't think it would be rude to either have the pastor ask the congragation to please make sure all phone ringers are off and to please refrain from flash photography. If you are doing a sign, you may even want to put on there that the ceremony is being video taped, it might help people to better understand. By just saying flash photography you aren't telling them no photos, just nothing that will show up on your video.

From a bride who had people taking photos while I walked down the isle (I only know this thanks to facebook) I didn't even notice anyone else really in the church. I was focued on what was at the end of the isle, my husband to be.Heck I didn't even notice our paid photographer

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Holy crap, some of these stories are so rude! I had no idea people were so hell bent on getting pictures of someone else's ceremony. It never even crossed my mind to do so. And honestly, I've seen people with aisle seats taking a picture as the bride walks down or something, but I've never seen anyone get out of their seat or step into the aisle. That's nuts!

RangersSweetheart · July 2013

I have a dear friend that doesn't have a single photo of her father bringing her down the aisle that doesn't have tons of glowing iPhones in it.

We are going to make this request at our church, it is a sacred moment and we feel it should be treated as such.

I don't think this is Bridezilla-y. It's your day, it's a request you are more than allowed to make. Get a calligrapher to make a beautiful sign that sits at the entrance to your ceremony asking everyone to turn off & put away their phones.

ConfettiStars · July 2013

You can't ban this stuff but you can make an announcement at the ceremony as well as the reception where you can ask people to corporate and refrain from using such devices that can prove to be a destruction. And then you can tell them about the instagram bit

Dreamergirl8812 · July 2013

LMc0322 said:

Holy crap, some of these stories are so rude! I had no idea people were so hell bent on getting pictures of someone else's ceremony. It never even crossed my mind to do so. And honestly, I've seen people with aisle seats taking a picture as the bride walks down or something, but I've never seen anyone get out of their seat or step into the aisle. That's nuts!

That's where I am. I can't imagine my loved ones being so classless. But I think twitter is stupid and I never put facebook before life (I would rather live in the moment and maybe post about it later). So I can't really relate to a lot of people when it comes to this crap.

OP, I really don't know how to handle this. Word of mouth? I would think the biggest issue would be young people, ie friends?

FriendlyGhost1012 · July 2013

FH and I are doing an unplugged ceremony. If we are paying for the photographer, we want great photos without any other flashes or people in the way of the professional. Who cares if it comes off bridezilla-esque? It's our wedding, we are paying for it, so we are going to have it our way. Our guests are getting a great meal and an awesome DJ, so they can put their phones away for 20 minutes.

NYCBruin · July 2013

KateFlynnMcFadden said:

FH and I are doing an unplugged ceremony. If we are paying for the photographer, we want great photos without any other flashes or people in the way of the professional. Who cares if it comes off bridezilla-esque? It's our wedding, we are paying for it, so we are going to have it our way. Our guests are getting a great meal and an awesome DJ, so they can put their phones away for 20 minutes.

Because I'm curious, how the hell do you enforce this? I get that you could make an announcement or put something in the program, but if cousin Susie takes out her phone when you're walking down the aisle, what are you going to do? Stop walking towards the groom and tackle her instead? If someone forgets to turn off their phone and it rings are you going to stop the ceremony and have your officiant scold him?

ChelseyKelsey · July 2013

I'm including on my wedding website "we ask that guests not take pictures of our ceremony. But please photograph to your heart's content at our reception."
A. I want people paying attention during my ceremony.
B. I don't want pictures like this:

(This is a picture from a professional, ruined.)
C. I HATE getting on social media on Saturdays and seeing a million pictures of weddings a, I wasn't invited to or b. I don't care about.
D. I think it's tacky.

No, I'm not going to snatch phones out of people's hands as I walk down the aisle, but I am going to make a simple request of my guests.

I'm sorry that some of you are so offended by this notion.
I don't think it's bridezilla at all.

[Deleted User] · July 2013

Im definitely banning the use of cell phones for pictures. I'm going to have a photographer there but it just doesn't look classy for everyone to be taking pictures of your special day and posting it on Fb,IG,etc.

banana468 · July 2013

CintiaDarice said:
Im definitely banning the use of cell phones for pictures. I'm going to have a photographer there but it just doesn't look classy for everyone to be taking pictures of your special day and posting it on Fb,IG,etc.

Wait a sec, my husband can bust out the bulky DSLR but I'm "banned" from using my GS4 to snap a shot?

Give me a break.

LovesDesire · July 2013

I am actually known for my camera phone work and have a great eye for great moments. Be it i am considerate of other guests so you barely notice. I actually have been invited to weddings and events to capture the hidden moments. I hate posed pics and just have a knack when to snap a pic as for doing it the whole ceremony......those ppl need help. It has actually become a trend that couples who know it is going to happen anyway actually leave notes in the venue to upload videos with a special hashtag so they can find them easier. Ican actually say I've been to six weddings this summer and 5 of the couples new married profile pics are pictures that I took on my phone.

bethie86 · July 2013

we are actually looking into a photo site for our guests to download an app to their smart phone to be able to take pictures. this way i get full access to all of their pictures as well as any that my photographer takes. It's reasonably priced for what you get too and it cuts out all the disposable cameras on the tables at the reception. maybe a request to be mindful of the professional photographer would be enough to keep people out of the way so you get the pictures you want.

SilverSarahB · July 2013

I am currently planning on an unplugged ceremony, requesting that guests do not take or share images of our ceremony. I thought of the idea when I attended a family wedding with a close family member. She was nose-in her phone. It started with taking pictures, then posting them to facebook, then checking facebook to see what her friends was doing and replying to their statuses... As much as I love her, it was uncomfortable and I kinda wanted to tell her to leave because she was being rude. I didn't of course, but I was put-off by it.

I am currently looking for the best wording to express (in the program and on my website) that it is my preference that the ceremony be a photo-free zone, with the exception of the photographers we hired, and that we will share photos with anyone who wants some. When we go to the reception, go ahead and whip those cameras out, but I really want to avoid the many horror stories I have heard about professional photos being ruined by flash, or by focusing beams, or by people standing in the way or looking at the wrong camera.

colleenbj · July 2013

I'm planning on doing the same! This program from Pinterest is my inspiration for the wording I'll use-I hope it's helpful.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/p480x480/402544_10150522815281766_930679131_n.jpg

colleenbj · July 2013

colleenbj · July 2013

StageManager14 said:

I'm planning on doing the same! This program from Pinterest is my inspiration for the wording I'll use-I hope it's helpful.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/p480x480/402544_10150522815281766_930679131_n.jpg
That is incredibly condescending.

I don't think it's condescending at all. It explains the reasoning perfectly and respectfully. Do you disagree with having an unplugged ceremony?

88beautymarked · July 2013

colleenbj said:

StageManager14 said:

I'm planning on doing the same! This program from Pinterest is my inspiration for the wording I'll use-I hope it's helpful.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/p480x480/402544_10150522815281766_930679131_n.jpg
That is incredibly condescending.

I don't think it's condescending at all. It explains the reasoning perfectly and respectfully. Do you disagree with having an unplugged ceremony?

I don't find it condescending either.

I started this post and wow, I did not expect so much snarkiness. I have made up my mind after reading comments from both sides of it. Obviously I will not post something rude for my guests but I will have some kind of signage at the ceremony or have the officiant announce the camera ban during the ceremony. No one cares if an unflattering shot is taken of them, its being able to get that shot in the first place and everybody's flash going off interferes with the quality of the photo that the photographer is taking.I don't want people nose deep in their phones on facebook. If I am inviting certain guests to my wedding then they are the ones invited, not all of their facebook friends. Simple as that.

hheartsc22 · July 2013

we are asking our guest to put them away for just the ceremony. We were just at a family wedding where we couldn't even see the ceremony because of all the picture takers and the photographer had to keep nudging people out of the way. we are having out officiant say something like: "The couple invites you to be truly present at this special time. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how this moment looks -- I encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology. "
with the reception we don't care as much as long as they don't interfere with the professional photographers shots.

NYCBruin · July 2013

hheartsc22 said:

we are asking our guest to put them away for just the ceremony. We were just at a family wedding where we couldn't even see the ceremony because of all the picture takers and the photographer had to keep nudging people out of the way. we are having out officiant say something like: "The couple invites you to be truly present at this special time. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how this moment looks -- I encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology. "
with the reception we don't care as much as long as they don't interfere with the professional photographers shots.

I agree with Stage that this language is unnecessary and somewhat condescending.

Just have an announcement like "We respectfully request that you turn off all electronic devices, including cell phones and cameras, for the ceremony." People will either respect your request or they won't. Adding language to justify your legitimate request isn't going to change anyone's mind. I roll my eyes at the "being truly present" and "feel in your heart" language.

colleenbj · July 2013

88beautymarked said:

colleenbj said:

StageManager14 said:

I'm planning on doing the same! This program from Pinterest is my inspiration for the wording I'll use-I hope it's helpful.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/p480x480/402544_10150522815281766_930679131_n.jpg
That is incredibly condescending.

I don't think it's condescending at all. It explains the reasoning perfectly and respectfully. Do you disagree with having an unplugged ceremony?

I don't find it condescending either.

I started this post and wow, I did not expect so much snarkiness. I have made up my mind after reading comments from both sides of it. Obviously I will not post something rude for my guests but I will have some kind of signage at the ceremony or have the officiant announce the camera ban during the ceremony. No one cares if an unflattering shot is taken of them, its being able to get that shot in the first place and everybody's flash going off interferes with the quality of the photo that the photographer is taking.I don't want people nose deep in their phones on facebook. If I am inviting certain guests to my wedding then they are the ones invited, not all of their facebook friends. Simple as that.

After reading more comments, I think I'll do the same and just have the officiant announce it or use a sign. I don't want to beat my guests over the head with it!

colleenbj · July 2013

Actually, no, if you'd read any of the rest of the thread, you'd see I don't disagree with an unplugged ceremony at all. What I disagree with is trying to control your guests' state of mind (we want you to be present), "explaining" to the guests, and using phrases like "your smiling faces, not the back of your camera phone", which come across as talking down to them. A simple note saying "the bride and groom respectfully request that you refrain from using any electronic devices during the ceremony" is plenty.

I see what you're saying, and I now agree that it should be a much simpler statement. Thanks for your input.

KDM323 · July 2013

I mentioned these "unplugged" ideas and such to my photographer at a meeting two weeks ago. I asked him if he was concerned about other people taking photos, etc. during the course of the wedding/ceremony.

He laughed hysterically and said that people should hire better photographers if they are truly concerned about this sort of thing.

Granted, we're having 2 photographers at our wedding (himself and his fiancee) but he ASSURED me that he was a professional and then showed me countless images of his work...and there were no photographs that were "ruined" because of people taking pictures with their cellphones, etc.

If your photographer is giving you this anxiety....I suggest finding a different photographer.

If you have this anxiety and have NOT spoken to your photographer...ask them about it.

I think people make a bigger deal out of camera phones, etc. than necessary.

Cellphone/Camera ban

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