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Cold feet or just nerves?!?

HopietaylorHopietaylor member
in Chit Chat
I met my FI and it took us 3 months to decide we wanted to get married. We have been engaged now since January and living together. I love him but I keep having this nagging feeling that what if I make a mistake. What if I rushed and got to excited. How do I know it will last? All of my married friends were together for years so they knew that it could last. The day of our wedding will be our one year anniversary and I just can't help but be scared. I'm not a super lovey person and he is the definition of cheesy and cliché. I'm not all doe eyed and breathless. I love him and I can't imagine life without him. At the same time I'm sure my grandparents and so many other people felt the same way before they got married and now they are divorced. I have about three months left and I talk to him about it and every time we talk I feel better. Then the feeling comes back. I desperately don't want to end up like the crazy people in my family. So how do I know?!? Help!
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Re: Cold feet or just nerves?!?

  • Teddy917Teddy917 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    There are no guarantees in life. Sometimes you just have to take the plunge. Carefully consider all your options (even pray about it if you do that sort of thing) and then go forward with the understanding that you don't know what will be at the end but do the best that you two can to have the best relationship possible. If it doesn't work after all that, you can say that you did your best.
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  • Jessica41381Jessica41381 member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    When you know you know and at least with me I have no doubt. No cold feet, no nervous feeling, no jitters, just pure excitement ! I think it's great that you and your fiancé talk about it but if your still feeling this way I would definitely check into some premarital counseling. When you get the nagging feeling is it because your thinking of something in particular ?
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  • jennylee813jennylee813 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    As someone who is divorced and two weeks out from my second wedding, I can tell you that there are no guarantees. I thought my ex husband was the one. He's a great guy, but not a great husband (for me). I had no doubts about marrying him either - it just happened that we grew apart instead of together. 

    No one gets married thinking it will end in divorce. So many people focus on the wedding instead of the marriage, and forget that relationships take work. Premarital counseling is a great start, and as @CMGr said, that's why it's so highly recommended. 

    No one here can tell you if it's just nerves or if it's cold feet; only you know that for sure. But I do know that you should always trust your gut, and if YOU think it's more than nerves, it probably is.

    Don't do something just because it's expected. Follow your heart.
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  • hordolhordol member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I agree with doing some sort of pre-marital counseling or marriage workshop. My husband and I did one when we were engaged (it was required) and it was a great experience.

    Being nervous is natural, but if you have a feeling of dread in your gut, you need to examine that a little more closely and figure out exactly why you have that feeling.

    I don't think that you need to be together a certain amount of time before you tie the knot (at the time of my wedding, my husband and I were only together for a year and a half-ish), but you should deep down feel peace and comfort regarding that decision.
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