Second Weddings

Hello everyone!

I wanted to take a minute and introduce myself and my story.  My name is Erica, I am 28 and planning my second wedding.  I am lucky enough to have the second chance with the love of my live. I met my, now fiancé, JR in college.  We dated for almost two years and lived with each other.  I graduated and he was still in college.  We went our separate ways at graduation.  I ended up married to my, now ex-husband, shortly there after.  Looking back more of a rebound thing, ends up he was a drug addict.  After four years of fighting his addiction I had enough and left, taking my son with me.  Funny enough, JR saw on facebook I was single again and made contact with me.  This was over a year ago.  We have been dating for over a year now and in June got engaged.  I have had a hard time adjusting to the fact that he wants "the whole wedding experience".  So, here I am, planning my second wedding.  I have guilt that it should have always been him I was marrying but I am trying to move past that and just embrace the life we are creating now.

So, I think that is all about it for me.  Our wedding date is June 28, 2014.  I am having a great time sorting through details and we are writing our own vows so I think that will be extra special for us.

Re: Hello everyone!

  • Congratulations!! Welcome to the board.  You may want to read the post "It's Normal" at the start of this board.  There is a lot of helpful advice. 

    Sorry you had to deal with a drug addict, that is never fun.  

    Plan the wedding you want and can afford, it's totally okay for a second time (or more) bride to have the wedding that she and her FI can afford. 
  • Congratulations Erica!  Isn't it great when things eventually work out the way they're supposed to...  :)

     

     

  • Congrats Erica! That's a wonderful story and welcome to the board. The ladies here are wise, so when things feel a bit overwhelming or you are struggling, just post.

     

    Happy planning!

  • congrats on finding your way to the right guy, even if it took a detour to get there!  i'd have been okay with a simple ceremony and a small BQ to celebrate, but I also told FI that I felt everyone should get that full-on wedding experience if they want (and can afford!) it.  He said he did want a more traditional wedding over an elopement or something similar.  Never expected to plan again, not the biggest fan of the task, but I AM a big fan of FI and thrilled to say I Do as HIS bride in OUR wedding. 

    the last wedding rocked, but the marriage sucked.  so while i'll work on a nice wedding, I am also looking beyond it and certain any bumps in the plan mean very little given how big and important the actual "I Do" is and will be

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • elf814 said:

    I wanted to take a minute and introduce myself and my story.  My name is Erica, I am 28 and planning my second wedding.  I am lucky enough to have the second chance with the love of my live. I met my, now fiancé, JR in college.  We dated for almost two years and lived with each other.  I graduated and he was still in college.  We went our separate ways at graduation.  I ended up married to my, now ex-husband, shortly there after.  Looking back more of a rebound thing, ends up he was a drug addict.  After four years of fighting his addiction I had enough and left, taking my son with me.  Funny enough, JR saw on facebook I was single again and made contact with me.  This was over a year ago.  We have been dating for over a year now and in June got engaged.  I have had a hard time adjusting to the fact that he wants "the whole wedding experience".  So, here I am, planning my second wedding.  I have guilt that it should have always been him I was marrying but I am trying to move past that and just embrace the life we are creating now.

    So, I think that is all about it for me.  Our wedding date is June 28, 2014.  I am having a great time sorting through details and we are writing our own vows so I think that will be extra special for us.

    I am also now with someone I can't believe I passed over in college!  Congratulations, so glad it's working out for you.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • WonderRedWonderRed member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited August 2013
    Congratulations! 

    Your story is very similar to ours.  We met 16 years ago and dated  for three years before breaking up only because I had moved 1500 miles away for law school. We stayed close friends for three years after that before losing touch.  I didn't actively pine for him in the nine years we lost touch but I always missed him, always hoped he was happy and well, and  held him up as the standard for what a healthy relationship felt like, even after I married my XH.  He was just always my  "what if" guy.  We also each other on FB about 15 months ago, only lived a four hour drive apart, and were both single. We just immediately picked right back up where we left off, something I kind of always knew would happen if we found each other again.   Sometimes I look at him and still can't believe he's here and we ended up like this after all that time apart.

    We very much have come to believe that we were  always supposed to be sharing life together, even though back then we felt it but thought we weren't ready for it yet.  Even in the time we were apart we were still on the same/parallel paths together... both of us were in long term relationships (me married, FI not)  at the same time with someone from the same general area of Eastern Europe and they even had the same name (male/female versions).  How weird is that?!

    ETA:  And for what it's worth, I didn't have the wedding I wanted the first time because my XH was such a diva groomzilla so I'm not hesitating this time around at all.  But at first I did also feel guilty.  I'm over that now though. Plus this is FI's first so I can't deny him that fun.
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