Food and Cakes

Wedding Cake/Dessert Bar Advice

We hired a chocolatier to do a truffle/dessert bar for the wedding instead of a wedding cake. FI really wants to do the ceremonial cake cutting (just an 8-10" single layer cake) and I'm on board with the idea to get the "it's dessert time" ball rolling. Neither of us really care about saving a tier for our anniversary. Problem is, I've talked to every baker I can find and none will do a wedding cake that's really small. All have minimum serving sizes that are way bigger than anything we want/need. I suggested just getting one from a grocery store, but FI doesn't want to do that. I would make it myself, but I just don't want to deal with it before the wedding.

So here's what I was thinking of proposing (this is where I'd like your help):

We are allowed to bring in our own dessert to our rehearsal dinner venue. Would it be a good/bad idea to get a tiered cake for the rehearsal dinner (we're having about 50-55 people) and save a tier from that to use at the wedding? 
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Re: Wedding Cake/Dessert Bar Advice

  • Tiered cake at a rehearsal will be perfectly fine! As far as saving a tier, no one will know/care that you saved one of them for your first anniversary.
  • kipnuskipnus
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    I suggested just getting one from a grocery store, but FI doesn't want to do that. I would make it myself, but I just don't want to deal with it before the wedding.

    So here's what I was thinking of proposing (this is where I'd like your help):

    We are allowed to bring in our own dessert to our rehearsal dinner venue. Would it be a good/bad idea to get a tiered cake for the rehearsal dinner (we're having about 50-55 people) and save a tier from that to use at the wedding? 
    I think you've got three perfectly viable options here: 1) Convince your FI to use a grocery store cake (lots of people do it!). 2) Bake the cake yourself a week or two in advance and then freeze it. 3) Go ahead with your plan of having a tiered cake for the rehearsal dinner and saving a tier for the wedding.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    So you won't be serving cake to the rest of your wedding guests?  You will just be cutting a cake and then they will have their pick from the dessert bar? 

    I think having the ceremonial cake cutting is fine, but you should serve your guests cake whether it be in a traditional form or in cupcake form.  Not having cake for everyone when you are cutting into one is seen as rude.  I would at least make sure that you are serving cake in some other capacity.

    Also, if you want, you can just have cupcakes included in the dessert bar and just cut one of those so that way you won't have to worry about saving a tier from the RD or having a cake at the RD at all.


    [Deleted User]daisey18FizzySips
  • If you cut a cake at the wedding, you should serve your guests cake.  You can cut anything, though.  If you have single layer cakes or pies on the dessert bar, just cut that.  We had a dessert buffet with two kinds of cake on the buffet, among other options.  We didn't do any ceremonial cake cutting, though.  

  • @Maggie0829 and @jessicabessica - I didn't realize it would be rude since no one's going to be eating it..not us either - we'd just do it to get the "dessert time" ball rolling. I was thinking if everyone is partaking in the same dessert bar (i.e. no one's getting special treatment) that wouldn't be considered rude. Now I'm nervous! I get it though.. kind of dangling something in front of people and then saying "just kidding, here's something else."

    Do you think it'd be strange to cut a truffle? lol it just seems weird/funny (not necessarily a bad thing). Any suggestions?


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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    @Maggie0829 and @jessicabessica - I didn't realize it would be rude since no one's going to be eating it..not us either - we'd just do it to get the "dessert time" ball rolling. I was thinking if everyone is partaking in the same dessert bar (i.e. no one's getting special treatment) that wouldn't be considered rude. Now I'm nervous! I get it though.. kind of dangling something in front of people and then saying "just kidding, here's something else."

    Do you think it'd be strange to cut a truffle? lol it just seems weird/funny (not necessarily a bad thing). Any suggestions?


    Since I love cake, seeing you cut into cake in any form and then not serving it I would be a bit upset, but I wouldn't hold it against you...for long :)

    What other types of dessert are you having besides truffles?  You can cut into anything really.


  • @Maggie0826 - I'm going to sound like a really bad bride, but I honestly don't even know! The guy we hired is a dear family friend with a really successful business and I just told him to come up with a crowd pleasing mix of desserts (some chocolate, some not, etc.). 

    Maybe we'll just grab something off the bar - whatever looks good at the time - and have it be a surprise? :) 
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  • i would still do a cake, i love weddings but when it comes to desert time thats the icing on the cake talk to this friend of yours and see if maybe he can make you mini cupcakes and have them on a cupcake stand with maybe 2-3 tiers so it looks like a cupcake cake. 

    i wanted to do the desert bar at my wedding but have to cut back on that as it was an added expense so we are doing a really good cake  
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    I agree with @hyechica81.  I would call up your friend and see what he has in mind.  If he doesn't say anything about some sort of cake then I would ask if it be possible to provide cupcakes or mini-cakes.  Dessert bars are great but a neutral flavored piece of cake is typically (not always) well liked across the board.

  • I like the idea that scribe95 had:  have your DJ announce you will be opening the dessert bar.  At that point, you can have photos taken of the two of you checking it out, feeding each other a yummy little bite, and then sharing a kiss.  Easy peasy.

     

    If you were STILL married to the idea of cutting into a cake, why not go to your local bakery and order a cake in whatever flavor you want, ask for it to be decorated in a lovely white-on-white design, with a spray of roses on the top.  No wording.  The bakery doesn't need to know that it's for cutting at a wedding reception.  Some bakeries don't realize that a wedding can be small enough to only require a small cake (8" to 10").

    And BTW, I'm an independent pastry chef.  I would also recommend that you have some kind of cake IF you are going to cut into a cake.  Everyone else is right:  if you cut into a cake, you need to serve some kind of cake.

    Best of luck to you!  Your concern shows me that you care about what happens at your wedding and reception.

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
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    Cutting a cake without serving any cake does come off to me as insensitive to your guests.

    The cake you cut and the cake you serve don't have to be one and the same, as long as the one served is of equal or better quality than the one cut.  But cutting one tells the guests to expect it, and not to then serve it leads them on unreasonably.
  • I think tier cup cakes are wonderful ideas, you save you time from cutting, and they are presented beautifully these days!!

    check out these photos!




  • doeydodoeydo Southwestern Ontario
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    edited July 2013
    Tired cake at the rehearsal dinner is something I have not seen before but it might make sense for you.  Alternatively, you could have a tiered dessert stand with the top part made of cake to cut and on the lower stands have the truffles (like below).  As for the bakery not doing small wedding cakes, that kind of makes no sense to me but I guess you could not specify that it is for a wedding.  Or at least take your FI to a grocery store to actually look at the cakes they have to offer and speak to the baker.
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  • I would use two seperate cakes.

  • I believe Wegmans does little tiered cakes - you could just get one of those.
  • If I were you, I would choose a truffle from the dessert bar and feed it to each other. I think it would be cute, and I like the surprise of not knowing what we would choose.
  • Hey all - We got married in July! Yay! 

    Here's what we ended up doing:

    We had the truffle bar and everyone LOVED it. I ended up making an Italian creme wedding cake for us so we'd have something to cut. We served the cake along side the truffles. Everyone was happy! The end.
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    csuave
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