This past weekend my parents
suggested to me to switch reception venues; from a community center to a
banquet hall. Sounds nice, but here's the frustrating part...
Back in May/June when my parents,
FI, and I were deciding on where to host the reception we looked at many
different locations. The church's hall, a BANQUET HALL and COMMUNITY CENTER
were our final 3 selections. When deciding, my parents kept repeating "We
need to pick a reception site soon, so we can start paying it off." and
that in order to cut costs on transportation we should pick a location that's
close to the church. After a walk though of each venue and costing out expenses
my FI and I really liked the space and aesthetics of the COMMUNITY CENTER. It's
bright, the space feels very open, there were many banquet-type events were
held there before. But the community center allowed us to only rent to the
space and we had access to table and chairs. The BANQUET HALL, on the other
hand, was on a golf course, and it came with a complete package (tables,
chairs, catering, cake, decorations, etc). My mom (without visiting or pricing
out this place) encouraged us to choose the BANQUET HALL because it was a
complete package. We wouldn’t have to worry about finding various vendors like
we would if we went with the COMMUNITY CENTER. We’d have their help in paying
for it. It was a great point. We'd have to "create a party" if we
went with the COMMUNITY CENTER.
I spoke with the BANQUET HALL event
coordinator to reserve the space for the wedding date then received a price
quote on our wedding reception. Then I presented this too my mom. My mom
frowned and says this is too expensive.
Then she visited the site and says there's smell, she doesn't like the
parking lot, it's stuffy, and she doesn't like the bathrooms. Noting that me,
FI, and my dad, this location and there was no smell, no one cared about the
parking lot, and the bathrooms were just fine. In fact, when she went to see
the location they were setting up for a wedding ceremony and reception later
that afternoon. It was the perfect moment for her to see the staff in action.
Her comments and complaints gave me the impression that she wasn't going to
help pay for a reception at this location.
She then visited the COMMUNITY
CENTER and said yes to using it. I asked her was she sure. We would have to
create a party from ‘scratch’ (rent linens, flatware, silverware, glassware,
decorations, etc) and she gave a confident "Yes, we can do this". I
say alright. Call the event coordinator at the BANQUET HALL and cancel our
reservation. We go to the COMMUNITY CENTER, we put down a refundable deposit
down to reserve the date. Two months later after my mom looks at a couple of
caters and party rental places, she comes to the realization that there's a lot
of work involved. And tells FI and me we should switch back to the BANQUET
HALL. My frustration comes NOT in the idea of switching venues, but the
flip-flop on these major decisions. I see the logic in going back to the
BANQUET HALL. Decorating the community center is too much for them to handle. I
get it. We made a confident decision to
go with the COMMUNITY CENTER. We knew what we were getting ourselves into. I guess my mom wasn’t confident. Without their help, I don’t think we could
have the “traditional” (seated meal, drinks, etc) wedding reception. That’s
what I would prefer.
My mom fully admits that it's
her fault, though. And she apologizes.
She says she just didn't realize the amount of time, labor, and money it
would take to transform the COMMUNITY CENTER (even though I told her). So, my
choice is to stay with the COMMUNITY CENTER. Make it work. We said we're going
to use the COMMUNITY CENTER. Let's use the COMMUNITY CENTER. The flip side to
that is I would feel I'm just being difficult. Would it really relieve them if
FI and I held the reception at the banquet hall? My other choice would have been to go back to the BANQUET HALL. But
just have my “moms” handle it. If I did that, I would feel weak, indecisive,
and uncertain of their future actions. I really don't want to flip flop.
Time to go for a walk now.
**EDITS**
An animator and a writer are planning a wedding, it will be an epic graphic novel.