Planning a wedding with no girlfriends sucks!!

LizzandJohn2015 · August 2013

*pity party alert* (But Im honestly upset!)

I currently have NO girlfriends and planning a wedding without girls really stinks. Most of my "friends" have turned out to not be real friends, we've fallen out of touch, or they've moved away.

Anybody going through the same thing and can commiserate? No one to go to fittings or catch a cocktail, no bridemaids (yet FI has 4 men lined up for his side).... this SUCKS!

MayDay513 · August 2013

It's ok. Do you have sisters? Do you have close guy friends? Aunts? Cousins? Honestly, the less people at dress fittings the better.

msdds51 · August 2013

What about guy friends? A lot of guys I know are down to give me criticism without getting punched. Bring them along? I understand how you feel. I don't have a lot of close girl friends either, but I just focus on the people I do have close to me and they are always willing to pitch in.

SeaCryptid11 · August 2013

I'm in a similar boat. My guy has 5 on his side and I have four girls. They all live out of town so whenever they do come in, they are pulled away by "more needy friends" or family. It's really hard to plan by yourself (particularly since my groom isn't fully involved when it comes to the decorations and can't help with my accessories and such)

This would be a good opportunity for you to pull in some of the older women in your family for insight, I'm sure the women on his side would love to have some input. Maybe some cousins could stand up with you? In my experience, people I haven't seen in years are amazed they aren't standing up with me so you may have more options than you think.

I know how lonely and insecure some of this can make you feel.

MNNEBride · August 2013

It sucks not to have girl friends. But I just don't get how this impacts your wedding planning. Maybe I was an outlier, but my FI and I planned the wedding we wanted and did what needed to be done to make it happen. I went shopping for my dress by myself because I lived 500 mi from my mom and my MOH was 1000 miles away. I designed and printed out our invites and FI and I assembled them. We were married in my hometown, where he was living at the time, so he made phone calls to venues and when I came for the weekend, we toured them together and chose one. My girlfriends didn't help with any planning. When all my friends were getting married, I don't remember that I helped with any of the planning either.

Sorry you don't have close friends, but that is a problem unrelated to your wedding planning.

VarunaTT · August 2013

Find your local board, find local Knotties, talk about wedding planning to your hearts content. Lots of them have meetups as well.

LizzandJohn2015 · August 2013

Thanks for all the suggestions. I know it's not 100% necessary to have girls in your wedding, but considering how small my family is and the fact that my mom is not really interested in this wedding, it makes it mentally harder to not have someone there to bounce ideas off of or just go get my nails done with and veg. I've always been the type of person to have girlfriends you can call and say "OMG I just saw the cutest pair of shoes, you have to come look at them with me!" or something silly like that. My FI has really stepped up to the plate though which helps.

I guess continue to look for me on the boards and I'll just talk to you guys

LizzandJohn2015 · August 2013

(and no, I don't have any sisters or cousins.. my family consists of like 7 people and Im not close to his side, which is much bigger, but also out of town)

Clpapke83 · August 2013

@lizzandjohn2015. I understand. I lost contact with all of my friends when I moved out of the city 4 years ago. I have pretty much done all of the planning by myself (I pick 3 things and have FI choose which one we are gonna do). When I went to buy my dress the only people that went with me were my 3 kids. Dress shopping is NOT fun with a 7 year old boy. That's why I'm on here a lot. Its very helpful when ya feel alone.

VarunaTT · August 2013

Clpapke83 said:

hen I went to buy my dress the only people that went with me were my 3 kids.

I know I shouldn't judge. Really?

VarunaTT · August 2013

No, I'm not. My first thought was, WHAT?!, my 2nd was hm, IDK how she ended up w/3 kids, then wedding dress, so whatevs.

But I did just judge you.

Have a good Sunday!

LizzandJohn2015 · August 2013

wow the end of my poor post just went tacky. Im sorry Clpapke83. Someone's wedding dreams should never be squashed, despite number of kids or previous marriage, or the sex of the person they want to marry!

I wish I could delete that... it was totally unnecessary.

makila29 · August 2013

I know how u feel i don't any close friends anymore either. I will be going to look at dresses with a coworker from work and my aunt. My five daughters will the bms ages 17-5. yes it is very hard and somtimes depressing but at the end of the day its all about you and your man.

VarunaTT · August 2013

You came back too late. There is a deleted post from someone outed as a vendor.

LizzandJohn2015 · September 2013

you are a very unpleasant person varunatt.

VarunaTT · September 2013

Eh, you're not worth a banning and I already got a warning. So:

dalm0m · September 2013

I pretty much dress shopped alone. It's not the worst thing in the world.

I was disappointed & a little hurt that my childhood friends weren't more excited about my engagement & all the WP but there was nothing I could do about it. My wedding really wasn't about them.

Try to focus on the good things in your life, surrounding your wedding & don't focus on what you think is missing. In the long run, when you have a happy marriage, some of the stuff that you thought was so important / painful surrounding WP won't matter at all.

FiancB · September 2013

I'm feeling a little lonely too. My close friends and family are still on the west coast and I moved to MN two years ago and am just now starting to build new friendships here.

I am sort of trying to convince FI to ditch the wedding party thing and just have a best man and MOH but I don't know if he'll go for it. He and 5 high school friends take turns being in each other's weddings. It'll be what it'll be though.

I have two close friends that are the type that I can pick up where I left off, but even then there's been entirely too much leaving off lately and it's just weird. Meanwhile I have my family and my sisters will probably also be BMs but they have entirely different ideas of what makes an awesome wedding.

I did manage to dress shop with a friend when I was home visiting. Then went with MIL. Then went by myself and a recently made friend did stop by with her input.

In the end, you're getting married to your very best friend and the rest of it is so trivial. I feel your pain but try to keep your chin up and be thankful for communities like this that can give input and listen to your rants.

88beautymarked · September 2013

@LizzandJohn2015 My best friend and I are both workaholics and she is a new mom so I never see her. I just helped my sister move 2 states away. That's both my BM's. *shrug* oh well, that's why I can vent here. FI is a big help though, don't forget to include him with things he can be involved with.

mystakilla · September 2013

I feel the same way. I have sisters and they have things in their life they are busy with and since this is my FIs second wedding he is letting me do what I want...actually probably would be happier with a JP and no "fanfair"....Friends are far away and/or have kids and relatives don't seem too interested. I think it is making me second guess even the small wedding we are planning. My mother and I are the only ones involved basically. I keep feeling like I should just have the quickie wedding and save everyone the trouble...that's bad huh?

PirateBarbie · September 2013

I really didn't have much in the way of local friends when I got married. I actually planned a visit to my parents so my mom and I could go dress shopping together. Since my ILs were hosting the wedding, mom wasn't really involved, and I know she appreciated the gesture. She also wanted my input on her dress, and we were able to find a nice one.

if you have male friends, you could always have bridesmen. They may not be up for a spa day, but I think dinner and drinks is pretty universal.

grumbledore · September 2013

LizzandJohn2015 said:

*pity party alert* (But Im honestly upset!)

I currently have NO girlfriends and planning a wedding without girls really stinks. Most of my "friends" have turned out to not be real friends, we've fallen out of touch, or they've moved away.

Anybody going through the same thing and can commiserate? No one to go to fittings or catch a cocktail, no bridemaids (yet FI has 4 men lined up for his side).... this SUCKS!

Do you guy friends? They might not want to go dress shopping with you (though they might surprise you honestly, it can't hurt to ask) but they might be perfectly happy to hear about your plans.

The only people I've been talking to about it are my guy, my brother and one of my girlfriends. Mostly my guy and my brother. Don't assume guys don't care - if they care about you, they will be willing to listen, as long as it isn't every conversation. Also, as far as wedding party goes - my brother will be my "MOH" whatever we decide to call it. He's my best friend. He's the person I want standing by my side, regardless of gender.

It will be okay.

Planning a wedding with no girlfriends sucks!!

Re: Planning a wedding with no girlfriends sucks!!

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