Moms and Maids

MOB and MOG

My Mom is a little upset with the MOG My mom bought her dress first in Watermelon and the MOG bought a Champagne color dress then she toke it back and bought a Fuchsia Color dress she knew  my mom had a Watermelon dress,  my mom thinks that the MOG dress is the same color as she has but a little lighter. What should my mom do buy other dress?

Re: MOB and MOG

  • The MOB and MOG get to pick whatever color (except white) they want. Your mom shouldn't ask the MOG to return her fuchsia dress. If your mom doesn't want to match, she should return her own dress and not mention it the the MOG.
                       
  • Ditto my good friend, Maire.  OP - I am a 3 time MOB. I refuse to discuss my dress with the MOG's because I think the old, old tradition of MOB picks firs and MOG must coordinate is outdated and very very rude.

    The MOG's are grown women and have dressed themselves for years.  They all looked gorgeous because they chose what made them feel beautiful.

    I have no idea why your mom is even worried about this.  Who on Earth CARES if their dresses are close to the same color?  Mom needs to chill.
  • This whole MOB and MOG coordinated outfits rules is so bizarre to me. Who would possibly care about it? And in my opinion, MOB and MOG have equal importance - both have children getting married that day - so why should one have outfit precedence over another?

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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    As the MOG, my SIL and the MOB both wore champagne colored dresses. The style of the dresses differed, and they accessorized the dresses differently. No two shades of champagne are the same. No one noticed; no one cared. When my daughter married, her MIL asked about my dress. My daughter showed her a picture. MIL ended up purchasing a dress that was eerily similar to mine. I have no clue as to whether that was intentional, nor did I care. Your mom should keep the dress she has selected, accessorize it to "make it her own", and wear it well.
  • Both my mom and DH's mom wore blue (slightly different shades, one long dress and one short). They both looked absolutely lovely, and I can promise you that no one cared that they wore the same color. The MOB and MOG should be able to pick dresses in which they feel beautiful and confident - they should not be relegated to picking something based solely on how well it coordinates with someone else's attire.

    I think you should speak with you mother, calmly, and let her know that she should not buy another dress but should wear the one she already picked out. If she gets upset, listen and respond, but don't complain about the MOG's dress yourself. That will just fuel the fire.
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  • Your mom is upset that the MOG bought a dress in a similar color to hers?  Why?

    Please tell her to get a margarita and move on with life. 




    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited July 2013
    Your mom should wear whatever dress she wants, same with the MOG.  If they are both a shade of pink, who cares?  If anything, they might look good in pictures together...
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  • kmmssg said:
    Ditto my good friend, Maire.  OP - I am a 3 time MOB. I refuse to discuss my dress with the MOG's because I think the old, old tradition of MOB picks firs and MOG must coordinate is outdated and very very rude.

    The MOG's are grown women and have dressed themselves for years.  They all looked gorgeous because they chose what made them feel beautiful.

    I have no idea why your mom is even worried about this.  Who on Earth CARES if their dresses are close to the same color?  Mom needs to chill.
    I didn't even know this tradition existed.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I have been to a few weddings that the moms almost matched... and I thought it looked great actually! 

    With my cousins wedding last year the MOG said she has a dress that was a teal/blue and the MOB said her dress was a teal/green... well when they saw each other the day of the wedding it was literally the exact same shade, but the style was so different! Both looked awesome and the pictures turned out great!
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    Anniversary
  • shannyb41shannyb41 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2013
  • kmmssg said:
    Ditto my good friend, Maire.  OP - I am a 3 time MOB. I refuse to discuss my dress with the MOG's because I think the old, old tradition of MOB picks firs and MOG must coordinate is outdated and very very rude.

    The MOG's are grown women and have dressed themselves for years.  They all looked gorgeous because they chose what made them feel beautiful.

    I have no idea why your mom is even worried about this.  Who on Earth CARES if their dresses are close to the same color?  Mom needs to chill.
    I didn't even know this tradition existed.
    @aleshad1978 - way back in the day it was the MOB who planned the wedding.  MOB's were actually judged quite harshly when it came to their daughter's wedding.  The etiquette had to be perfect, in the bride's home church/home town, and the bride and groom were basically lucky to be invited.  

    The MOB and FOB hosted the wedding and paid for the traditional things you see in lists today.  Since the MOB's social success was on the line she was the Queen Bee.  She chose her dress first and then the MOG would coordinate with the formality of MOB's dress.  It was scandalous, thoughtless, and incredibly rude for MOG's to get their dress first and not bow in deference to the MOB.  Have you ever heard the expression of the MOG is supposed to "shut up and wear beige"?  Well, that is where that comes from!

    I'm a 53 yo MOB and that would have been my mom/g'ma's generations and older.  I come from a family who thinks weddings are a waste of time and money (both sides of my family/grandparents were very poor due to the Great Depression) and was the first to have a church wedding.  

    You will see posts from time to time where a bride and/or her mother is not happy that the MOG has chosen her dress first.  Now you know the history behind that.  As I said in my post above, I could never treat one of my girls' FMIL's in such a rude manner.
  • My mom wasn't too happy when we first started planning our wedding. She said she didn't feel like the MOB. I tried to involve her but she still felt like she needed to feel even more special. She was raised very traditionally so I think she had the same mentality as other entitled moms. Like it's their day since their own mothers took over theirs.
  • As long as the MOB and MOG aren't wearing the exact same dress, who cares?  It sounds like they're coordinating by choising similar colors.... BUT THEY'RE NOT THE SAME. 

    My mom and MOG are both wearing blue dresses but one is dark (almost a teal color); whereas, the other is light blue (almost pastel).  The dresses look kind of similar but the colors are different.

  • Is your mom upset about the similar dress color, or do you not want them to look as similar?
  • @bookie7, Why does it matter if they're wearing the same dress? (Serious, not sarcastic, and recognizing this is theoretical.) They're different women, and they can accessorize it different ways.
  • I don't think it matters at all if it was the same dress or not.  That's not what I was saying in the least.  When I was saying "they're not the same," I was implying that two different women aren't going to look the same even if it's the same color, style, whatever.  No two women look the same in any dress (in my experience), plus there are so many options to make themselves unique.
  • Just checking. I must be having reading comprehension issues today.
  • Lol.  I think we're in the same boat.  I keep re-reading things to make sure I'm saying or reading posts correctly. :D
  • I am a MOG, and when I asked the MOB, point blank what she was wearing, she replied Oh, just a dress.  I wasnt planning on changing my dress since I had already fell in love with it, and cleared it with the Groom.  He said, Mom you and the MOB have opposite taste, you wont wear anything even similar.

    So, I sent a pic of the dress to the bride and let it go at that.
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