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Fathers' dance

Womb2GroomWomb2Groom
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I am about 9 month away from the big day. Everything has been going well so far. We pretty much agree on everything except for a family tradition that she thinks is a joke. Everytime I try to discuss it she laughs it off as if it didn't matter to me. I really don't know how long my family has been doing this but at all the weddings on my dad's side it is tradition for the groom's father and the bride's father have a dance just after the daddy-daughter dance. It is not surprisingly called the father and father dance. Unfortunately since we have been together we have not attended a wedding on my dad's side. I think if she could just see it in person it she would be all for it. It is just a fun way to start the wedding celebration. Anyone having a similar issue? Or does any one have any advice on how to get her to see this as a serious tradition? P.S. I spent many hours looking for videos on the internet so don't waste your time.
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Re: Fathers' dance

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    KDM323KDM323 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    The two fathers dancing together? I've never heard of this....seems strange to me.
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    misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    This has to be some tradition somewhere else, but I've been around here a while and I've never heard of this. I would be very uncomfortable watching this and I feel like most father's would be horrified if you suggested it. 
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    I have never heard of it, either. And whether it's a tradition in your family is kind of irrelevant -- you don't get to tell grown adults whom they should (or should not) dance with. You dance with your bride, she dances with her father* (assuming she and he want to), you dance with your mother** (assuming you and she want to), other people dance with whomever they wish. 

    * or step-father, or uncle, or grandfather, or whatever male role model she chooses.
    ** or step-mother, or aunt, or grandmother, or whatever female role model you choose.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If there are traditions that one of you is not comfortable with, then you don't do them. For example, if one of you isn't comfortable with the garter hunt/toss, you don't do it. If her dad isn't comfortable dancing with your dad, then they don't do it. No one should be forced to do something they aren't comfortable doing.

    Maybe they can do something else, like each could give a toast back-to-back to kick off the reception. 

    As for her laughing at you, it's pretty rude and immature. I would be pissed if H laughed in my face when I suggested a family tradition that was meaningful. WTH. I would talk to her about THAT as the issue - not whether or not to do this tradition.
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    heidirs731heidirs731 member
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    What LeSwan said.
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    LiveLaughLoveOne87LiveLaughLoveOne87
    First Comment
    Oh. My. Gee.  This happened at my sister's wedding five years ago.  Her H had the same tradition.  Are you European?  My sister's H's family were European.  It was a funny dance, like a ballroom dance.  Arms locked out and such.  Just go with it.  You only live once.  But laugh plenty.  And love til you die.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2013
    Given that my BF's father is dead, there'd be nobody for my father to dance with, and he wouldn't dance with a male outside his own family (and probably not even then).

    If this is not a custom of her father or family, then I think you need to respect their decision not to include it.

    Talk to your FI about all the traditions you each want to include, and only include those that pass muster with all concerned.  Don't try to pressure someone into doing something they're uncomfortable with because of "tradition."
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    LDubHawksFanLDubHawksFan member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I've never heard of this before. You need to talk to your FI seriously about this and whatever other traditions both of you want to have a part of your day. The reason why I don't think this one is ok necessarily is because you might be asking someone other than yourselves (her dad) to do something they aren't comfortable with. If he isn't, then this dance shouldn't happen. It's a blending of families, and that goes both ways, accepting new traditions and respecting other choices.

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