Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Pre-wedding Parties
Pre-wedding Parties
New Discussion
Options

who gets invites to the rehearsal dinner?

smericansmerican
First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
in Pre-wedding Parties
we will have A LOT of out of town guests to our wedding. a lot of them are traveling the day before the wedding and will be in town that night which is the night we will have our rehearsal. is there a rule for who is invited to the rehearsal? i have been told many things (only those involved in the ceremony/wedding AND everyone who is in town that night) but i am not sure. i don't mind inviting a lot of people but my future in-laws are paying for the rehearsal and i don't want to put a huge burden on them if it's not necessary. so, who gets an invite?
Report Reply to Post

Re: who gets invites to the rehearsal dinner?

  • Options
    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    smerican said:
    we will have A LOT of out of town guests to our wedding. a lot of them are traveling the day before the wedding and will be in town that night which is the night we will have our rehearsal. is there a rule for who is invited to the rehearsal? i have been told many things (only those involved in the ceremony/wedding AND everyone who is in town that night) but i am not sure. i don't mind inviting a lot of people but my future in-laws are paying for the rehearsal and i don't want to put a huge burden on them if it's not necessary. so, who gets an invite?

    Ultimately, it is up to the hosts. Your FI should probably ask his parents what their plan is. It's either wedding party/SO's, and immediate family only or adding on out-of-town guests.

    We did not invite OOT guests to the rehearsal dinner. There wasn't a point to it, and there's no way we could have afforded it, anways.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    You don't need to invite all the out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner although it's certainly nice if you do.

    The must invite list includes your parents, siblings, wedding party, readers, officiant and anyone else not a paid vendor who is involved in the ceremony PLUS their significant others or dates(or parents if you have young children in the wedding party).
    Report Reply
  • Options
    pattymacspattymacs
    First Comment
    I'm stuck in the same situation! All of the out of town guests are on my side & there;s a lot of them, so I feel guilty having my future in laws paying for them. However, most cousins that are coming from out of town did have us at their rehearsals so I feel obligated. The other problem is trying to figure out when everyone will be flying in so trying to figure out the amount of people that would attend is driving me crazy.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited July 2013
    We invited our OOT guests to the RD, but only b/c other than my dad and stepmom and my husband's mom and brother and sister,the other OOT guests were an aunt, 2 of our friends, and our groomswoman's partner. If we hadn't had such a small OOT list, we would not have invited everyone. 



    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    rmaynarrmaynar
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    Just took part in a dear friend's destination wedding this past weekend.  Rehearsal and dinner was only family and wedding party (and their SOs) the afternoon before the wedding.  The couple then had a "welcome reception" later that evening near the bar at one of the hotels they had rooms blocked off at.  It wasn't anything big/special, and people did have to buy their own drinks, but it was a nice way for everyone to spend extra time together and get to know other guests and family.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Virginiabride2014Virginiabride2014 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Probably 75% of our guests will be traveling in for our wedding but the only people invited to our RD will be the wedding party + significant others, grandparents, and our parents.  I have a huge family and my FI only has one uncle he is close with so it wouldn't be fair to invite his uncle and not any of mine.  If we were to invite everyone then it would be the reception guest list pretty much and too expensive. Plus I also don't like one of FI's childhood friends and there would be drama if we invited any outside ppl but not the friend even though they aren't close anymore. Sad but true.
    FI and I also wanted just wedding party b/c many are OOT as well so we wanted this time to show our gratitude. After RD we will go back to the hotel bar to meet up with everyone! 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Virginiabride2014Virginiabride2014 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Probably 75% of our guests will be traveling in for our wedding but the only people invited to our RD will be the wedding party + significant others, grandparents, and our parents.  I have a huge family and my FI only has one uncle he is close with so it wouldn't be fair to invite his uncle and not any of mine.  If we were to invite everyone then it would be the reception guest list pretty much and too expensive. Plus I also don't like one of FI's childhood friends and there would be drama if we invited any outside ppl but not the friend even though they aren't close anymore. Sad but true.
    FI and I also wanted just wedding party b/c many are OOT as well so we wanted this time to show our gratitude. After RD we will go back to the hotel bar to meet up with everyone! 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    dramamonkeydramamonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    This is just one of the many arguments I've been having with my mother, but our situation is a little odd - our rehearsal will be taking place on the Friday prior to our Sunday afternoon wedding. So Rehearsal dinner is immediate family and wedding party (and applicable S.O.s). Easy peasy, but my mother is adamant that we MUST DO SOMETHING for OOT guests on Saturday night. 

    I argue that that's not required. She insists that it must happen, but isn't willing to open her wallet. My fiance's parents are indifferent and have basically set aside a certain amount for us to spend, and we can do so as we wish (they live in Alabama so we're planning it). 

    Anyway. So we're doing a true rehearsal dinner for about 15 people on the Friday prior. On the Saturday night before the wedding, we're inviting out of town guests to a local restaurant (across the street from the wedding hotel - natch) where we'll have appetizers and such, and then buy people's first drinks- Fiance and I will hang out for a few hours, people can come say hi, have a drink on us.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards