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NWR: Vacation guilt

MaryGraceRichMaryGraceRich member
5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
in Snarky Brides
My uncle ia awesome and offered to take me and FI on vacation with him and most of my family. The only people on that entire side of my family are my dad, stepmom and little brother. My uncle offered to pay for me and FI because he knows that we are planning our wedding and wont be able to afford the trip and the wedding.
I feel awful that my little brother doesnt get to go. Its a Disney cruise to Cozumel. He will crushed when he finds out all of the cousins are going and he isnt. I asked my stepmom why they arent going. She said its because they just started remodeling their house and she doesnt want to ask my dad to spend more money.
My brother will be 13 at the time of the trip. I thought about offering to watch him for the 6 days if they will by his ticket. The problem with that is that he has pretty severe ADHD and if he doesnt stick to his routine, it can make him very difficult to handle. On top of that, this is completely selfish I know, but I want to enjoy the trip not babysit. It will be the first time FI and I are on vacation together.
I dont know if I should offer to take him or deal with feeling guilty that he cant go.
Advice?
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Re: NWR: Vacation guilt

  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Only you know your brother and his behavior. Personally, I would not want to be responsible for a 13 year old boy with severe ADHD on a cruise ship out of the country. No way. 

    I would accept your uncle's offer and let your dad/stepmom/brother decide what they're going to do on their own. They may have the same reservations you have about your brother, but their "excuse" is their remodel. Maybe offer to take your brother to a water park when you get home.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    MaryGraceRich said:
    My uncle ia awesome and offered to take me and FI on vacation with him and most of my family. The only people on that entire side of my family are my dad, stepmom and little brother. My uncle offered to pay for me and FI because he knows that we are planning our wedding and wont be able to afford the trip and the wedding. I feel awful that my little brother doesnt get to go. Its a Disney cruise to Cozumel. He will crushed when he finds out all of the cousins are going and he isnt. I asked my stepmom why they arent going. She said its because they just started remodeling their house and she doesnt want to ask my dad to spend more money. My brother will be 13 at the time of the trip. I thought about offering to watch him for the 6 days if they will by his ticket. The problem with that is that he has pretty severe ADHD and if he doesnt stick to his routine, it can make him very difficult to handle. On top of that, this is completely selfish I know, but I want to enjoy the trip not babysit. It will be the first time FI and I are on vacation together. I dont know if I should offer to take him or deal with feeling guilty that he cant go. Advice?

    Have you ever cruised before? If so, you know that cruises can be unpredictable and very stimulating. Not to mention embarking and disembarking can appear chaotic at times and require TONS of patience. These are things that could really challenge someone with ADHD.

    You'd also have to have your brother in your cabin, so no sexytime for you and FI. Doesn't sound like a good vacation to me!

    Bring your brother back a t-shirt.

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  • MaryGraceRichMaryGraceRich member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    Thank you both for the great advice. I have never been on a cruise before and neither has he. He has been to Disney with us before so flying isnt a problem but he can get very aggressive if things bother him.
    Alas I think you guys are right and taking him away for 6 days may not be such a great idea. I will definitely make a special day for him when we get back. He is a great kid.
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    southernbelle0915 said:
    Only you know your brother and his behavior. Personally, I would not want to be responsible for a 13 year old boy with severe ADHD on a cruise ship out of the country. No way. 

    I would accept your uncle's offer and let your dad/stepmom/brother decide what they're going to do on their own. They may have the same reservations you have about your brother, but their "excuse" is their remodel. Maybe offer to take your brother to a water park when you get home.
    I'm with this. I know it's a hard place to be, but I also think it could be seen at overstepping if your parents didn't want to bring your brother and now you're trying to make it happen. I would just leave it be. 
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