Including one cousin but not the other? Ideas??

Re: Including one cousin but not the other? Ideas??

• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  August 2013

  Your wedding party is completely up to you. You ask your nearest and dearest and that's it. If your aunt and uncle are already trying to wedge their way into the wedding, it's a pretty big red flag that it's a good idea to keep them at arm's length. Don't ask their daughter to be in your wedding if you don't want to. I would avoid talking wedding with them. Period. If they offer to pay for anything, decline. Money comes with strings. If they're not paying, they have absolutely no say at all in anything that happens.

  
  

  If you want to include your other cousin, that's perfectly fine. 

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• itzMS member

  

  August 2013

  ffemt14 said:

  Any ideas on how to ask one cousin to be in the wedding party and not another?  I really don't want to ask my fathers niece (my cousin) to be in my wedding party due to her parents. My fathers sister and her husband are of the mindset that if they or there daughter are included in something that means they have a say on what goes on. If you disagree with them or don't do what they want, then they make you out to be the bad guy. They are already trying to plan my wedding for me, I've tried to be very polite and tell them thank you for your input but this is my wedding and it's going to happen the way me and my FI want it to go. I'm trying to not start a family feud but this is also my wedding. Any ideas? 

  How old are you and how old is the cousin? That's pretty bizzare if you're both adults and her parents are that overly involved.

  But, aside from her parents, would you want your cousin involved? I don't think they should be the deciding factor if you'd really like your cousin to otherwise be a bridesmaid. You can stand up for yourself and not let nosy Aunt and Uncle bulldoze their way in.
  

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• OliveOilsMom member

  

  August 2013

  Anytime Aunt & Uncle start in on the wedding, just change the subject.  We call it bean dipping around here.  For example:

  Aunt: OMG!  You need to have live swans at your wedding!
  You: Live swans?  That's something I'll have to look into, btw did you try this bean dip?  It's so good!
  Aunt: Yes, I already know a swan farmer who can provide you with the swans, here's his number.
  You: Seriously, did you have this bean dip?  Do you think they used pinto or navy?
  Aunt: You just cannot have an elegant affair without swans, you know?
  You: I think Mary made this bean dip, I'm going to get the recipe from her!

  As for your cousin, if you want her in the WP then ask her.  If not, don't, being a guest is an honor too.  Also, make sure your Aunt & Uncle do not know who your vendors are and that your vendors know that the only changes that can be made are from you and FI.  If these people are as pushy as you say, I wouldn't put it past them to change stuff behind your back.

  

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• WildMagelet member

  

  August 2013

  You don't have to include both cousins if you don't want to, but I personally wouldn't exclude someone because of the actions of others.

  
  

  If your aunt & uncle try to talk about your wedding with you then change the subject.

  Formerly known as flutterbride2b

  
  

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• ffemt14 member

  

  August 2013

  Thank you everyone for your input. My cousin is still in high school and isn't old enough to drive, so anything that I need to include the bridesmaids in her parent's would have to drive her. 

  Unfortunately my aunt and uncle run my cousins life and she cannot do anything without there approval. 

  
  

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