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Destination Weddings

destination wedding - bridesmaid backdown

My best friend is having a destination wedding in October. She asked me to be her one bridesmaid, which I said absolutely yes to. I have been there for her helping plan the wedding, join a gym, go dress shopping. Everything. I have even purchased my bridesmaid dress. The problem is, I just found out my mom will be going in to surgery the day I am to fly out, and will be in recovery until I fly home. I can't imagine not being there at her surgery, yet alone being out of the country tthe entire time she is in the hospital. Because of this, I feel it necessary to back out of the wedding. My family is extremely to me, and I wholeheartedly think hone is where I should be.

I just worry that it is wrong to back out so late. I know she has already bought our wedding jewlery, and even gifts. I don't want to upset my best friend, but she would have to understand. Right?

She is having a ceremony / reception back home in the spring, which I would like to still be part of. Is it wrong to hope that, after backing out of the main wedding?

I have so many feelings going through me right now, I don't even know what to think. I just know I need to break the news to her ASAP.

Re: destination wedding - bridesmaid backdown

  • Obviously, your friend will be slightly disappointed that you can't attend your wedding. But if you are that close, I'm sure she will understand the need for you to be by your mom's side. 

    I would just say to her that a family emergency came up so you can no longer attend the wedding, but you would still like to help out where you can. Also express that you really do wish you could support her physically, but she will always have your support emotionally. 

    It's a tough situation, but your friend will probably understand. After all, it's not like you're bailing because you have a date! 

    Good luck and I hope your mom is ok. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I think it's fine if you need to back out, but I would tell her sooner rather than later.  However, if it were me, I would probably mention it to my mom first.  We're very close, but depending on what the surgery is for, she might encourage the trip since she would stress knowing that I would be hovering around probably annoying her during recovery. :) 

    Obviously, you know your family the best, but it might be worth having the chat before you tell your friend.

  • saric83 said:

    I think it's fine if you need to back out, but I would tell her sooner rather than later.  However, if it were me, I would probably mention it to my mom first.  We're very close, but depending on what the surgery is for, she might encourage the trip since she would stress knowing that I would be hovering around probably annoying her during recovery. :) 

    Obviously, you know your family the best, but it might be worth having the chat before you tell your friend.

    This.  My mom had a surgery and didn't even tell me or my brother until afterwards because she didn't want us worrying and hovering.  Does your mom want you to stay or go?
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
    image
  • My mom wants me to stay. For her surgery; plus other reasons. She is having her knee replaced and will be in the hospital for three days or more. Her knee replacement two months ago had complications, so I know I'll be worried and thinking about her the whole time if I go. I really feel if I won't be there 100% for my friend, it probably is for the best that I stay home.

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