hardest decision during wedding planning?

melbelleup · August 2013

Just curious, what was the hardest thing for you to decide on while planning your wedding? Why?

Mine: our flowers!!! Since I worked at Lowe's as a cashier for 3 1/2 years I've been around flowers the majority of the time there. Because of the background knowledge I have of flowers, I knew which ones I wanted....of course, they were out of my budget for flowers ($1,300). She and I then had to think of flowers that would look good with my color scheme of blue and purple... to alas come up with the moon series mini carnations! They work perfectly and look great and only $820... much better than the $1,300.... needless to say, if my flowers are my only issues, I'm going to have an awesome wedding come June!

AprilH81 · August 2013

My hardest decision was the venue, followed by the photographer. With both I did so much research that I overwhelmed myself. I ended up not liking the venues/photographers I thought I would and really liking some dark horse choices.

Swazzle · August 2013

The venue was the hardest. We went to 13 different places before finding the winery we got married at. We live in NJ and a typical wedding venue is VERY fancy and over-the-top which is not who we are or what we wanted at all. It was difficult finding a place that felt like "us".

WonderRed · August 2013

Picking the date. We got engaged on July 4 of this year, knowing our mutual preference was a fall wedding. It was either do it super fast, wait over a year until next fall (which he adamantly did not want to do), or not have the fall wedding we both wanted. We ultimately opted for late fall of this year, giving us four months to put it together, which has been ridiculously fast and painfully stressful at time, but doable, since we're only having 25-30 guests. It helped tremendously that the venue we wanted was wide open.

itzMS · August 2013

Transportation. Due to logistics, we found that we really had to provide full guest transportation. Not just a simple shuttle bus, but coach busses.

Not to mention also finding limo big enough to carry us, our wedding party, AND their SO's.

DH was thrilled with the convoy of vehicles...but our budget was not!

WinstonsGirl · August 2013

Dress. I couldn't find something I liked and tried on way too many. I tried on the dress I bought 4 times before buying it. I didn't love it until after the first fitting

smalfrie19 · August 2013

Menu! I have been back and forth about wanting to do something "traditional" vs something more "us"(Thanksgiving) After a long talk with my FI and some family members, we will end up doing a turkey dinner (possibly with ham) because that is our favorite meal and we are getting married at the end of October.

MayDay513 · August 2013

Mine was probably with our florist. I honestly learned the hard way you get what you paid for. I knew I shouldn't have gone with her, she was stupid, disorganized and hard to work with and I knew better. I will never recommend her to anyone. But it was my mistake I was trying to save like $800. You get what you pay for. I'm glad it's over. Avoid pain in the asses (vendors especially) if possible.

krizzo17 · August 2013

The groom - took me 23 years to figure that one out!

In all seriousness, though, probably the "color scheme". I had no idea it was such a big deal. As soon as we went to look at venues, everyone *needed* to know our colors. Seriously? Are you setting out the napkins today for a reception I haven't booked yet? It was harder for me too because we had no bridal party, so it wasn't like I could base colors off of dresses or anything like that. I ended up just going with a million different shades of yellow, but of course, they don't make any wedding stuff in that color, so pretty much everything became a DIY project.

melbelleup · August 2013

huynhette said:

Mine was probably with our florist. I honestly learned the hard way you get what you paid for. I knew I shouldn't have gone with her, she was stupid, disorganized and hard to work with and I knew better. I will never recommend her to anyone. But it was my mistake I was trying to save like $800. You get what you pay for. I'm glad it's over. Avoid pain in the asses (vendors especially) if possible.

That's what made me choosing our baker for the cake soooo easy. All the other ones I contacted somehow thought I meant June 2013.... Or they refused to work with me until the fall, which I live 8 hours away from where the wedding is and rather not make more trips than needed.

ElcaB · August 2013

I'm still planning for ours, but I have a feeling it will be choosing The Dress. The fact that I don't like lots of trending styles right now combined with my limited budget is going to make it especially tough!

[Deleted User] · August 2013

The biggest hurdle we're dealing with is the catering. Based on how many people RSVP will determine what kind of food we'll have. I've made it my goal to make sure everyone is fed, including the vegetarians and allergy-sensitive while still budgeting for the espresso cart because dammit I want a latte to go with my cake!

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

Our menu. We wanted a broad and awesome menu for our strolling dinner. We didn't love anything on their canned menus, so we had brainstorming sessions with our caterer to come up with something custom. We ended up with a really awesome spread, but it took us forever to decide - all the options they came up with sounded delicious!

Grabows14 · August 2013

Invitations... I've been back and forth on matching everything or diy.. I think the most frustrating thing is that I don't want to spend more money than I need to.

arrippa · August 2013

Picking food stations. I am a foodie, so I wanted a sushi and stir fry station but knowing that some people might not like it means that I have to go with more traditional stations (beef, turkey, greens and soup). I am still debating picking the sushi one in addition to the more traditional food options.

fre3doms · August 2013

Probably the hardest thing will be figuring out to do with my hair. Picked my venues easily. Just bought my dress today. Probably not doing flowers. I have very fine hair that doesn't hold a curl. All I know is no veil and at least half-up.

misssunshine17 · August 2013

Ceremony location since FI is Catholic and I consider myself non-denom.

KeptInStitches · August 2013

@misssunshine17, may I ask how you resolved that? Or are you still in the process?

WonderRed · August 2013

fre3doms said:

Probably the hardest thing will be figuring out to do with my hair. Picked my venues easily. Just bought my dress today. Probably not doing flowers. I have very fine hair that doesn't hold a curl. All I know is no veil and at least half-up.

Yeah. My hair. I've kind of blocked that issue out so I didn't think about it. I don't have a clue what I'm going to do. Not. One. Freaking. Clue.

MDbride1012 · August 2013

Mine would be the caterer. I am torn between three right now and am really not sure which to pick. My FI is a pretty picky eater and I am a foodie. I am hoping that after our tastings it will become easier to choose.

SKPM · August 2013

Lots of decisions surrounding the guest list. (Examples included: Invite the bridesmaids' parents? 10 spots left- do we invite the second cousins or the friends from grad school? What about coworkers? A lot of "where to draw the line" decisions.)

Also, stationery was tough for me. Maybe because, aside from photos, they were the few things remaining for the scrapbook after it was all over. Our invitations turned out fine, but I could have deliberated for years if not for the deadline.

melbelleup · August 2013

KeptInStitches said:

@misssunshine17, may I ask how you resolved that? Or are you still in the process?

You can still get married at a catholic church no matter what the other person is... but if you don't want to- you can do outside ones, non-denom. churches, hotels, beaches, basically anywhere you dream of

misssunshine17 · August 2013

melbelleup said:

KeptInStitches said:

@misssunshine17, may I ask how you resolved that? Or are you still in the process?

You can still get married at a catholic church no matter what the other person is... but if you don't want to- you can do outside ones, non-denom. churches, hotels, beaches, basically anywhere you dream of

We're two months out and it's already taken care of it.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

melbelleup said:

KeptInStitches said:

@misssunshine17, may I ask how you resolved that? Or are you still in the process?

You can still get married at a catholic church no matter what the other person is... but if you don't want to- you can do outside ones, non-denom. churches, hotels, beaches, basically anywhere you dream of

Not necessarily true. H is Catholic and I'm not. We looked into getting married in a Catholic church. We could have done it, but it would have meant a lot of hoops for me to jump through - like getting baptized there, etc. We ultimately decided it wasn't right for our relationship or marriage. We got married outside by a non-denominational officiant.

Peaseblossom55 · August 2013

The venue was hard there are tons of wedding venues in NJ and it became a bit overwhelming, we wanted to find the perfect place. That met all of our requirements.

I'm having a bit of guest list issues mostly in feeling obligated to invite people. Luckily no family pressures or anything.

itzMS · August 2013

southernbelle0915 said:

melbelleup said:

KeptInStitches said:

@misssunshine17, may I ask how you resolved that? Or are you still in the process?

You can still get married at a catholic church no matter what the other person is... but if you don't want to- you can do outside ones, non-denom. churches, hotels, beaches, basically anywhere you dream of

Not necessarily true. H is Catholic and I'm not. We looked into getting married in a Catholic church. We could have done it, but it would have meant a lot of hoops for me to jump through - like getting baptized there, etc. We ultimately decided it wasn't right for our relationship or marriage. We got married outside by a non-denominational officiant.

I certainly don't know your situation, but I just wanted to say the bolded is not true at all for anyone who might be lurking. I know plenty of interfaith couples who were married in the Catholic Church in the US without the other party having to convert. The Catholic must get married in the church for his/her marriage to be seen as valid and to be in communion with the Church.

Hope your DH knows he can't receive Communion. But if he's decided to no longer practice, then that shouldn't be an issue for him.

Xstatic3333 · August 2013

The Catholic wedding issue was a big one for us too. It was totally FI's choice; he is a Catholic who hasn't practiced in years, but wasn't sure he was ready to close the door. I'm Congregational/UCC, but would have respected his choice. In the end, knowing all it meant, he decided we should be married in my faith since I practice.

In terms of the "fun" stuff, invitations were hardest by far. I love color, and there are so many awesome choices these days!

audubonbride2013 · August 2013

The hardest decision for us was the guest list. We knew who we wanted to invite for sure, but it gets hard making a cutoff for younger & more distant relatives.

We also got married in the Catholic church. I am Catholic and my H is non-practicing Presbyterian. It wasn't a hard decision for us. We also had no problems getting marred and my H didn't need to convert or anything. We just had to do the normal meetings with the priest, FOCCUS, and Pre-Cana.

southernbelle0915 · August 2013

itzMS said:

southernbelle0915 said:

melbelleup said:

KeptInStitches said:

@misssunshine17, may I ask how you resolved that? Or are you still in the process?

You can still get married at a catholic church no matter what the other person is... but if you don't want to- you can do outside ones, non-denom. churches, hotels, beaches, basically anywhere you dream of

Not necessarily true. H is Catholic and I'm not. We looked into getting married in a Catholic church. We could have done it, but it would have meant a lot of hoops for me to jump through - like getting baptized there, etc. We ultimately decided it wasn't right for our relationship or marriage. We got married outside by a non-denominational officiant.

I certainly don't know your situation, but I just wanted to say the bolded is not true at all for anyone who might be lurking. I know plenty of interfaith couples who were married in the Catholic Church in the US without the other party having to convert. The Catholic must get married in the church for his/her marriage to be seen as valid and to be in communion with the Church.
Hope your DH knows he can't receive Communion. But if he's decided to no longer practice, then that shouldn't be an issue for him.

We were told by this church of their rules/requirements - we received a packet of information that stated this information. Even if they're not "supposed to" require it, we weren't exactly in a position to argue with them about it.

Maggie0829 · August 2013

I think our hardest decision was narrowing down the food choices since they were all so freaking amazing! I still have dreams about those crab cakes. Everything else kind of came together really easily.

Pepper6 · August 2013

The guest list. We wanted to have a nice wedding for our immediate families and friends, rather than just an okay wedding for everyone we've ever met. However, deciding that line was hard because so many people automatically assume that a wedding is a family reunion and everyone and their 4th cousin thought they should be invited. It was also hard narrowing down which friends to invite since I was only a few years out of college and stayed in contact with most of the graduating class of my program.

Flowers were the easiest for me actually because I really had no preference. I found a florist that was reasonable and gave her the colors I wanted then let her have carte blanche on whatever flowers were in season.

hardest decision during wedding planning?

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