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announcing engagement

Brandi1484Brandi1484
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiancee and I plan on getting married, he just asked me to marry him. We don't have money for a ring right now. We have been together for 8 years and already have 2 children, so this is a certain thing not a maybe. Is it okay to announce the engagement before there is a ring or wait until afte we can get one?
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Re: announcing engagement

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    KDM323KDM323 member
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    What do you mean by announce the engagement?

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    KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
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    edited August 2013
    If by "announce the engagement" you mean tell your friends and families, sure! You don't need a ring to be engaged.

    ETA: Congratulations!
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    ElcaBElcaB member
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    Of course it's okay. A ring is just a symbol. Being engaged means you made the promise to someone to marry them. As long as you're comfortable doing it without the ring, announce away!

    And congrats!
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    Brandi1484Brandi1484
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    I guess I mean tell people
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    itzMSitzMS member
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    edited August 2013
    Brandi1484 said:
    My fiancee and I plan on getting married, he just asked me to marry him. We don't have money for a ring right now. We have been together for 8 years and already have 2 children, so this is a certain thing not a maybe. Is it okay to announce the engagement before there is a ring or wait until afte we can get one?

    You don't need an engagement ring to be engaged.

    However, in your case, it might be smart to actually set a wedding date and make some preliminary plans before going "Facebook Public", etc, with your engagement.

    I know at least two couples offhand who are "engaged", together for years, with kids, with no plans in the forseeable future for getting married. It's kind of a annoying, TBH.

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    Brandi1484Brandi1484
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    No we just got engaged and I'm already in the process of looking up locations. So no "engaged" with kids and just saying it will happen maybe someday :-)
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    southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Of course!! Be prepared for a lot of people to ask to "see the ring" though. My sister never did an engagement ring - she saw it as a waste of money. She and her husband were just as engaged and they're just as married even though she never had one. It's just a symbol. Your engagement is your agreement to marry each other. That's done, so go ahead an announce it!
    *********************************************************************************

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    phiraphira member
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    Congratulations! You don't need a ring to be engaged.
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    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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    allispainallispain member
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    Of course you can announce it! Having a ring doesn't make you engaged - agreeing to marry someone does :-)
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    kefryarkefryar member
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    Announce it, my ring has been in for repairs for 2 weeks-I'm still engaged!

     

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    TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
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    well, ditto Itz  - I had two bfs before DH who wanted to get married, and one with whom I agreed we would, but w/o a ring. those didn't happen. If there is no ring, I woudn't annc it until you have a date set (i.e. deposit down) because a  lot of people talk about getting married but until you start laying the groundwork (either via ring or plans) it's really just talk. I'm totally happy for you, I just think that to feel comfortable saying "this is happening" you need to really be putting something in motion. That is 100 percent just personal opinion from my own experience  -- if this is the first time you have talk about it and decided to do it, and you feel like that's enough, then pop some bubbly and celebrate it....
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    WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl member
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    My best friend didn't have an E-ring either, just her band once she got married.  Tell people you're engaged, but yes, most will want to see the ring, so be prepared for people to ask.  Congratulations on your engagement!!

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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    My H and I were together 8 years before we got engaged.  We don't have kids but it was pretty much a sure thing that we were going to get married not only in our eyes but also in our family and friends eyes.  That does not mean that once we got engaged people weren't over the moon happy for us. We just got a lot of "it's about time" comments along with people's congratulations.

    So feel free to tell the world you are engaged.  People will still be happy for you.  A ring is just a symbol like everyone else has said and having a ring will not make you any more or less engaged then not having one.

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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    You don't need a ring to be "engaged."  If you are definitely planning to get married, you are "engaged" whether or not you have a ring.
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    Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 member
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    TheBaysideBride said:
    well, ditto Itz  - I had two bfs before DH who wanted to get married, and one with whom I agreed we would, but w/o a ring. those didn't happen. If there is no ring, I woudn't annc it until you have a date set (i.e. deposit down) because a  lot of people talk about getting married but until you start laying the groundwork (either via ring or plans) it's really just talk. I'm totally happy for you, I just think that to feel comfortable saying "this is happening" you need to really be putting something in motion. That is 100 percent just personal opinion from my own experience  -- if this is the first time you have talk about it and decided to do it, and you feel like that's enough, then pop some bubbly and celebrate it....
    ^^^^ Not this. If you are engaged, you are engaged. No ring or deposit is required to make it not "just talk." That is completely ridiculous.



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    itzMSitzMS member
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    Dreamergirl8812 said:
    TheBaysideBride said:
    well, ditto Itz  - I had two bfs before DH who wanted to get married, and one with whom I agreed we would, but w/o a ring. those didn't happen. If there is no ring, I woudn't annc it until you have a date set (i.e. deposit down) because a  lot of people talk about getting married but until you start laying the groundwork (either via ring or plans) it's really just talk. I'm totally happy for you, I just think that to feel comfortable saying "this is happening" you need to really be putting something in motion. That is 100 percent just personal opinion from my own experience  -- if this is the first time you have talk about it and decided to do it, and you feel like that's enough, then pop some bubbly and celebrate it....
    ^^^^ Not this. If you are engaged, you are engaged. No ring or deposit is required to make it not "just talk." That is completely ridiculous.

    Not really. Announcing engagement=plans to get married.

    If you don't have plans to get married, it's silly to make a public spectacle of it.

    It seems like the OP is making wedding plans, so that's fine. But plenty of couples "get engaged" with the intention of never setting a date. That's annoying.

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    lennonkdclennonkdc member
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    edited August 2013
    False. If your SO has asked and you've accepted then you're engaged. Rings, set date and deposit be damned. 

    FI proposed sans ring, and we still announced our engagement, and right after proposing we talked and agreed we didn't want to start planing for a year so we could save money and enjoy being engaged. We didn't set a date until 13 months into our engagement. 

    By your assassin 'rules' we should have either waited until I had a ring (which I got 3 months into our engagement), or until we set a date. 


    OP- Congrats on your engagement! 



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    TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride member
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    Lennon - don't be offended by our opinions! We are just telling OP that it can be easier to announce it when there is something semi-concrete. DH and I both felt engaged when we became domestic partners, and celebrated w/ my parents after he spoke to my father, but we didn't annc it until we had the ring. Whatever works, there is obviously no set rule for everyone.

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    lennonkdclennonkdc member
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    I'm sorry if I came off as offended, I just didn't want OP to feel like she needed to hide her engagement, or refrain from announcing b/c she didn't have a ring. 

    Sure it can be 'easier' to announce when there is a ring or a concrete plan, but its not necessary to wait till you have either one of those. No one was less happy for us b/c I didn't have a ring, after 9 years of dating there was a lot of 'finally's said and hugs given. No one doubted that we'd get married even when it took us a year to save up before we could set a date. 

    Her excitement shouldn't be diminished b/c she's following a more 'non traditional' path. 



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