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Bridesmaid expecting, still hasn't bought her dress

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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HELP!  I have a bridesmaid that I work with and we just found out that she is expecting; not one but two babies.  My wedding is in 46 days and she still hasn't purchased her dress.  I am getting nervous because of how close we are to the date now and not knowing what her body is going to be like on the big day. What do you recommend I do?  We originally picked out a dress in July for her to order but she didn't do it then because of funds, now she is pregnant and wants to possibly change the dress decision (which I am okay with) but I don't think that she grasps the concept of how much time we don't have left before the wedding.  I don't feel that my wedding is a priority to her now and I am just completely frustrated.  
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Re: Bridesmaid expecting, still hasn't bought her dress

  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    If the dress decision can be changed, can't she just go to a department store the day before even and pick a dress in the same color? She's having twins, it's a bigger deal to her than your wedding.
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
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    angebea924 said:
    HELP!  I have a bridesmaid that I work with and we just found out that she is expecting; not one but two babies.  My wedding is in 46 days and she still hasn't purchased her dress.  I am getting nervous because of how close we are to the date now and not knowing what her body is going to be like on the big day. What do you recommend I do?  We originally picked out a dress in July for her to order but she didn't do it then because of funds, now she is pregnant and wants to possibly change the dress decision (which I am okay with) but I don't think that she grasps the concept of how much time we don't have left before the wedding.  I don't feel that my wedding is a priority to her now and I am just completely frustrated.  

    Congrats! How wonderful!
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  • WildMageletWildMagelet member
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    That's awesome!  Congrats for her!

    Just have her buy a dress off of the rack.  If she can get it in the same color great, but if not then same color different shade, similar color, a neutral color, or another color from your total wedding color scheme would all be great alternatives.  
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper

    How far along will she be at the time of your wedding?

    And as much as it might suck for you, OBVIOUSLY your wedding isn't a priority. She's about to become a mom to two children. That's so much bigger than your wedding.  You have to understand that.

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  • itzMSitzMS member
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    angebea924 said:
    HELP!  I have a bridesmaid that I work with and we just found out that she is expecting; not one but two babies.  My wedding is in 46 days and she still hasn't purchased her dress.  I am getting nervous because of how close we are to the date now and not knowing what her body is going to be like on the big day. What do you recommend I do?  We originally picked out a dress in July for her to order but she didn't do it then because of funds, now she is pregnant and wants to possibly change the dress decision (which I am okay with) but I don't think that she grasps the concept of how much time we don't have left before the wedding.  I don't feel that my wedding is a priority to her now and I am just completely frustrated.  

    If she just found out she's pregnant this month...her waistline (and boobs) can expand rapidly in the first trimester (assuming she's about 6-8 weeks along now, she'll be almost 15 weeks by the time of your wedding). I know my body changed a ton in that time.

    46 days is a long time. Yesterday, in a matter of an hour, my DH & I went to Target and Motherhood Maternity and I bought 4 dresses...plus even more that I could've purchased had I wanted/needed to. She'll be fine. Just let her get any dress she wants in a certain color.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    angebea924 said:
    HELP!  I have a bridesmaid that I work with and we just found out that she is expecting; not one but two babies.  My wedding is in 46 days and she still hasn't purchased her dress.  I am getting nervous because of how close we are to the date now and not knowing what her body is going to be like on the big day. What do you recommend I do?  We originally picked out a dress in July for her to order but she didn't do it then because of funds, now she is pregnant and wants to possibly change the dress decision (which I am okay with) but I don't think that she grasps the concept of how much time we don't have left before the wedding.  I don't feel that my wedding is a priority to her now and I am just completely frustrated.  
    That's right.  Her pregnancy with twins is going to be her top priority.  Your wedding is at best peripheral.  I think the best thing you can do is let her buy a dress close to the wedding when she knows what shape she will be in and can plan accordingly.  In the meantime, let it go and don't let it frustrate you.  It's just one of those things you really can't do anything about.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I think its great news that she hasn't bought a dress! No worries about one she's already bought not fitting.  She can just buy a dress a week or two before in your colors and she'll fit right in.
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  • Pepper6Pepper6 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Your body can change A LOT in 46 days when pregnant, especially with twins.  It's probably a good thing that she hasn't made a purchase yet because it will be much less stressful on both of you to wait and buy a dress, than to buy a dress now, then realize the week before the wedding it doesn't fit anymore and that she needs another one.  Don't stress, she still has plenty of time.

    And just something to remember, it's a common reminder around here that "no one will be as excited about your wedding as you are".  We all get caught up in the big events in our lives and sometimes forget that it's not the same for those around you.  It doesn't mean your friend doesn't care or isn't excited to you, but whereas your wedding is the biggest deal to you right now, being pregnant with twins is the biggest deal to her.  Don't worry too much, everything will work out fine.

    Good luck!  And congrats to your friend!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    It would be almost impossible for her to predict now what her body will look like more than a month from now, especially if this is her first pregnancy.  She probably didn't buy the dress in July because she already suspected the pregnancy.  Your wedding should not be her priority right now.  Motherhood should be.

    Ask her to buy an inexpensive dress off the rack in one of your colors, or in a neutral like black.  Then buy her a pashmina or sash to tie her in with everyone else.  The point is to honor your friendship, not to make her look like everyone else.  
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