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2nd wedding but with the same spouse?

hlvonbhlvonb member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hey everyone.

My aunt and uncle (we will call them Jill and Bob instead of using real names) were married for 20 some years They got married right at 18. They divorced a while ago. Jill never really dated (maybe a dinner date here and there but no actual significant others) where as Bob was with someone for I believe 2 years but never married her and according to him he never thought about it and her bringing it up is why he left her. Anyway, Bob and Jill are now back together and are getting married.

Jill wants to know if it would be ok to have a wedding with the dress, reception, etc like she did before? I told her I thought it would be ok since they were actually divorced and some decent amount time has passed between the divorce and this now engagement. What do you ladies think?

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Re: 2nd wedding but with the same spouse?

  • GypsyWife_GypsyWife_ member
    First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Yes. Its a marriage and should be celebrated.
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    Yes, but I would keep it low key since these people have presumably already bought them gifts and celebrated their wedding once. Maybe this is bitchy, but since they've had the wedding experience (from what I'm getting in your post), I don't get why they would do it again (I'm not saying celebrate at all, but go all out), but that is my personal opinion and not etiquette. 
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Sure, they can have a dress, reception, etc., but I agree with misssunshine17 - it should be a little more low key in my opinion.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    misssunshine17 said:

    Yes, but I would keep it low key since these people have presumably already bought them gifts and celebrated their wedding once. Maybe this is bitchy, but since they've had the wedding experience (from what I'm getting in your post), I don't get why they would do it again (I'm not saying celebrate at all, but go all out), but that is my personal opinion and not etiquette. 

    I agree.
    image
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  • mlg78mlg78 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    It should be much more low key... I mean, they are significantly older now.  My mom remarried 25 years after her first wedding.  She wore an ivory suit...something similar to something a mother of the bride would wear and the only wedding party members were me and my two stepsiblings.
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  • hlvonbhlvonb member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    It would be low key - I think anyway. I think she said something about only having 30 or 40 people invited total. She doesn't want gifts either so she's not going to register anywhere. I think she's letting people decide if they want to get a gift or not
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  • SomethingBeautiful08SomethingBeautiful08 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    This isn't a vow renewal.  They are honestly getting married and this is only the second run down the isle. Personally I would take that had been married before out of the equation and tell her to go and have the wedding that her and her FH want.  
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  • allispainallispain member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    They got divorced, time passed, and now they're getting married again. I think it's fine to celebrate this just like any other wedding (meaning a white dress, attendants if wanted, cake, etc.) but it shouldn't be some huge bash. Something smaller and more intimate (30-40 people, like OP mentioned, would definitely fit this) would be good.
    image
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    The wedding is fine, but I would side eye a shower, b-party, etc.  If I were them, I would probably skip the registry as well.  
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  • hlvonbhlvonb member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    MyNameIsNot said:
    The wedding is fine, but I would side eye a shower, b-party, etc.  If I were them, I would probably skip the registry as well.  
    I know she is skipping the registries. She was never really a party person either so I don't think the parties would be an issue lol
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  • atlastmrsgatlastmrsg member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Have they considered a destination re-marriage?  That could be the way to spice things up in their new again love life.  And it would certainly be more understated.
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  • Grabows14Grabows14 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    I would consider it a second marriage as well and they should celebrate as such, but only to the extent they want to celebrate. Maybe on the second wedding forum they have good ideas for how to handle this as well. 
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
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  • ItsthevixItsthevix member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    It is their wedding and they can do whatever they want to do. It is about them and celebrating that they've found their way back to each other, not what others think they deserve, as an older couple.
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