Getting married outside of diocese of residence

Re: Getting married outside of diocese of residence

• agapecarrie member

  

  September 2013 edited September 2013

  I know what a nihil obstat means, but I've never heard it referred to marriage prep. Are you sure it wasn't referring to the materials used for marriage prep?  That phrase references that a book doesn't contain any doctrinal errors. There isn't an unreasonable expectation for a couple to travel long distances to attend a marriage prep in a specific diocese, but they want to make sure that the prep you do receive is good and adequate. The priest overseeing your marriage prep can attest to your readiness. 

  
  

  Many people do as you are doing with marrying outside their personal diocese. I suggest contacting the pastor of the parish you want to get married in, and explain to him the situation. Or, if you have a specific priest in MN that you want to marry you, talk to him. The priests/parishes often work together dealing with paperwork and fulfilling requirements. 

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• professorscience member

  

  September 2013

  Do your parents still live in the diocese where you want to get married?  My experience was that if you have a family member who is a member of the parish where you want to get married, it's less difficult.

  
  

  But I agree with Carrie -- your best bet is to call.

  

  
  

  
  

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• mommapizano member

  

  September 2013

  We are getting married in a Diocese that we are not residents of (Santa Rosa). I would contact the parish you are interested in getting married in but our experience is that we did all our pre-cana/marriage prep in our home parish (in Los Angeles). Our parish sent all the paperwork to our Los Angeles Diocese which in turn sends it to the Diocese you will get married in and finally it gets forwarded to the church/priest that will marry you. That's why you need to make sure you do everything in advance because it is a process.
  
  We didn't have any problems and our priest as well as the staff and priest at the parish we are getting married at have been very helpful! Some parishes are picky about marrying people who are not parishioners so PPs point about having a family member in the parish is a good point. If you call I would ask to speak to who handles marriage prep.
  

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• Tami87 member

  

  September 2013

  I also live outside of DC and we were married in St. Louis which is H's hometown. We picked that location because we wanted our grandparents to be able to attend and make our wedding the most convenient for the majority of the guests. With my family and friends in Chicago and Kansas City and all of his in St. Louis it just made the most sense.
  
  We talked to our local priest here as well as a priest H knew from growing up in St. Louis. We ended up having our local priest here write a letter basically saying we attend mass here and that we have his permission to get married not in our home church. We ended up doing our marriage prep with the priest that was marrying us but only met with him 3 times in person. He took care of any of the other paperwork we needed to get married in a different diocese. We also had a long 1.5 year engagement so these meetings were scheduled around holidays or times we could take off work. I think we met once in the summer about 1 year out, met again just after Christmas and for the last time a week before the wedding which was in July. We also attended an engagement encounter weekend in the Arlington diocese as well as did the home study CCL NFP class. We then mailed our priests copies of the certificates saying we completed these. I think it also helped that the priest has known my husband for a long time and didn't have any concern about us being practicing Catholics or understanding what it means to get married in the church.
  
  You may end of paying a non-parishioner fee for the church and there is a little extra bit of paperwork the priest will have to complete but I think this is fairly common with more people moving around and having family spread out across the country. I would definitely call a priest in the area you want to get married in and ask him what he recommends. Also if you have family ties to a church in that area or attended that church growing up that can certainly help.
  

  

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• aniluisa member

  

  September 2013

  Thanks, everyone! The priest at our parish here in DC told me that they'll send all of the necessary paperwork showing that we've completed the prep, but I suppose that I should call the priest that will be performing the ceremony and make sure that it will be acceptable to him (we're doing a weekend long retreat, a survey, and five meetings with a deacon, so it sounds plenty rigorous to me!).

  
  

  The situation is also a bit complicated because while my parents do still live in Minnesota and belong to a parish there, we would like to get married in a particular chapel that's not affiliated with a parish (it's prettier, closer to where our guests will be staying, and I don't really like the parish that I grew up in). So while a parish priest will be performing the ceremony, it won't be taking place in a parish. And apparently there are all kinds of other bureaucratic processes to go through in order to get married in a chapel, so we're dealing with that as well.

  
  

  On the nihil obstat question, the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis says the following:

  
  

  "The nihil obstat from the Archbishop of St. Paul and Minneapolis or his delegate is required in the following circumstances: 1. When one or both parties do not have domicile or quasi-domicile in this Archdiocese, or when preparation for marriage takes place outside of this Archdiocese. Catholics preparing for marriage are obliged to follow the particular law of their diocese of residence in regards to marriage preparation and other requirements."

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• Tami87 member

  

  September 2013

  We were also in the same boat with not getting married at a parish. It is a little extra coordinating but worked out fine. Definitely talk to the priest who is marrying you and make sure he is cool with you doing the marriage prep with your local priest. Also the priest that ends up marrying you will likely need to coordinate with your local priest to make sure all the paperwork is completed, so I would make sure they have each others contact info and that everyone is clear on who is taking care of what. I also wouldn't be surprised if the priest who is marrying you would like to meet with you a couple times before the wedding unless you already know him quite well.
  

  

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• lalaith50 member

  

  September 2013

  
  

  "The nihil obstat from the Archbishop of St. Paul and Minneapolis or his delegate is required in the following circumstances: 1. When one or both parties do not have domicile or quasi-domicile in this Archdiocese, or when preparation for marriage takes place outside of this Archdiocese. Catholics preparing for marriage are obliged to follow the particular law of their diocese of residence in regards to marriage preparation and other requirements."

  I have no idea what this means! I'm guessing it means someone from the bishops office has to sign off on any weddings that don't fit all the conditions listed? Just check with the Minnesota priest- he should know what that means.

  

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