Military Brides

New to the Air Force..

Hi Ladies! 

My fiance' just joined the Air Force. He hasn't left for BMT yet, but we will be getting married before he leaves for training. My question is for any of you girls who have been through this situation, do you have any advice for me? (His recruiter should be able to answer some of these, but he isn't the sharpest crayon in the box. Every time we have a question, he comes up with no answer. Not to mention all of the times he has not shown up for meetings because he had a girl at his place, or the time that he lost 7 guys paperwork and had to fabricate all of the paperwork before his office got inspected, or when a job became available, instead of giving it to the next person in line, he skipped and gave it to a girl he liked... yeah the recruiter is a piece of work and absolutely no help!)

How do I get put on his orders? 
Will he enroll me in Tricare/DEERS before he leaves for training or does he do that during zero week?
If it is during zero week, what kind of paperwork do I need to send with him to training?
Will I be able to spend nights with him during Graduation Weekend? 
When he goes to Tech School, if it is longer than 20 weeks a wife can go with him - after the first 30 days, will the AF pay for that move or is that out of pocket? 
What are they allowed to have in basic? (I realize they can't have care packages or sexy photos, but are regular, decent photos allowed?)
What is the best part about being married to an Airman? 


Re: New to the Air Force..

  • Hi! I mostly lurk around here but I am an USAF veteran and so is my DH so I can try to help you out with your questions.

    First of all depending on where you live there may be multiple recruiters in the area, if your FI is uncomfortable with his current recruiter he should find an alternate. My recruiter was a dream and I knew I could count on him and trust that what he said was true and that is very important.


    How do I get put on his orders?
    This one I'm not sure about, sorry.
    Will he enroll me in Tricare/DEERS before he leaves for training or does he do that during zero week?
    He will enroll you during training. He will need a copy of your drivers licence, birth certificate, ss card, and marriage licence. You will receive a packet in the mail with a letter that will enable you to go to a local military instillation and get an ID while he is in basic. Again these are things the recruiter should tell you.
    If it is during zero week, what kind of paperwork do I need to send with him to training?
    Answered above.
    Will I be able to spend nights with him during Graduation Weekend?
    No.
    When he goes to Tech School, if it is longer than 20 weeks a wife can go with him - after the first 30 days, will the AF pay for that move or is that out of pocket?
    Again, I'm not completely sure because my personal situation was different, but I believe it is out of pocket with some exceptions.
    What are they allowed to have in basic? (I realize they can't have care packages or sexy photos, but are regular, decent photos allowed?)
    This is completely up to his MTI, I would bring some small printed pictures. The worst that can happen is they will be taken away until the end. You can also wait until he knows if he can have them and then mail them to him.
    What is the best part about being married to an Airman?
    I love my H because of who is he not because of his job, but that job did help him develop some of his better qualities (loyalty, trustworthiness).

    Being a military spouse is hard. If anyone tells you it isn't they're lying. It takes a lot of work and sacrifice, but it also affords you a lot of opportunities. Just try to remember you get out of it what you put in. 
  • If he doesn't like the recruiter, I agree he should get another. I am an attractive female, and people sometimes think I got the opportunity I got because of that. There was a girl at MEPS who thought that. Maybe. Or maybe it's because I got a 99 on the ASVAB with a 140 GT. Maybe it's because I interviewed well with the person who determined my contracted MOS. MOSs/AFSCs aren't really about who's in line. They're about who's the right fit for them. MH is a recruiter and he fights hard for his applicants. He wants the military to be as good for them as it's been for him, and he loves the military and wants them to be good for the military. My recruiter is more blase about it all. In the end, I had to be my own advocate when my paperwork was lost. I don't dislike my recruiter, but I had to do a lot of work for myself. All that being said, MH would try to impart to his applicants the benefits of waiting to get married. Very few service members like to see young marriages in new service members. 

    I know a lot of spouses who regret going with their husbands to job training. Their time is very valuable, you won't get to feel like much of a married couple because he'll be studying or gone all the time. I was with MH, but he was 9 years in the MC, as it was a lat move, and it was where I lived anyway. We didn't get married until later. Since it was a lat move to a different aircraft, his job was actually very similar, so it wasn't hard for him. 

    I don't know that I'd say being a military spouse is hard, or takes a particularly large amount of work and sacrifice. I've been to funerals of H's coworkers, and twice I've had legitimate reason to think he might be dead, once in training and once in combat. The first year we were married, he was home for 2 months of it. My dream career didn't work out, partially because of his career. But I signed up for it, I knew exactly what I was getting into, and thus it doesn't feel any more difficult than any other relationship. Easier, actually, because MH is the best. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
    NYCMercedesiluvmytxrgr
  • That was incredibly well written, Stan - I really enjoyed it.  (BTW, I got a 99 on the ASVAB too)
    kyrgyzstan
  • I don't know that I'd say being a military spouse is hard, or takes a particularly large amount of work and sacrifice. I've been to funerals of H's coworkers, and twice I've had legitimate reason to think he might be dead, once in training and once in combat. The first year we were married, he was home for 2 months of it. My dream career didn't work out, partially because of his career. But I signed up for it, I knew exactly what I was getting into, and thus it doesn't feel any more difficult than any other relationship. Easier, actually, because MH is the best.


    A lot of people don't know what they're signing up for and then come to resent their spouse, so I just wanted to give the OP a heads up that it isn't always a walk in the park.
  • And that's why the OP should wait to get married until after training is done. No need to rush it before.
    image
    kyrgyzstan
  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    edited September 2013
    Sarah0154 said:

    I
    don't know that I'd say being a military spouse is hard, or takes a
    particularly large amount of work and sacrifice. I've been to funerals
    of H's coworkers, and twice I've had legitimate reason to think he might
    be dead, once in training and once in combat. The first year we were
    married, he was home for 2 months of it. My dream career didn't work
    out, partially because of his career. But I signed up for it, I knew
    exactly what I was getting into, and thus it doesn't feel any more
    difficult than any other relationship.
    Easier, actually, because MH is
    the best.


    A lot of people don't know what they're signing up for and then come to resent their spouse, so I just wanted to give the OP a heads up that it isn't always a walk in the park.


    You said anyone who doesn't say it's hard is lying. I disagree.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
  • Sarah0154 said:

    I
    don't know that I'd say being a military spouse is hard, or takes a
    particularly large amount of work and sacrifice. I've been to funerals
    of H's coworkers, and twice I've had legitimate reason to think he might
    be dead, once in training and once in combat. The first year we were
    married, he was home for 2 months of it. My dream career didn't work
    out, partially because of his career. But I signed up for it, I knew
    exactly what I was getting into, and thus it doesn't feel any more
    difficult than any other relationship.
    Easier, actually, because MH is
    the best.


    A lot of people don't know what they're signing up for and then come to resent their spouse, so I just wanted to give the OP a heads up that it isn't always a walk in the park.


    You said anyone who doesn't say it's hard is lying. I disagree.
    Agreed. Marriage isn't any more or less difficult because of the military. It also depends what kind of person both people are. DH and I are both motivators and I'm finally starting my career.
    image
  • kmmssg said:

    That was incredibly well written, Stan - I really enjoyed it.  (BTW, I got a 99 on the ASVAB too)

    We'll start a club!

    I hate Dave Ramsey
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