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Wording ideas for "the rest not invited" to ceremony/reception? help please

jessyrez27jessyrez27 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Ok so we are getting married in exactly one month.  Mine and Fi's IMMEDIATE family are invited.  I am also close to the rest of my family like cousins etc.  We all grew up together. However due to many reasons we decided to keep wedding small, intimate, and immediate family only.  I do stay in touch with my friends and family via facebook, pretty much on a daily/weekly basis.  I haven't seen them in years as they live in other states. Even the times I have went home to visit my immediate family I still haven't seen my cousins etc at those times. Is it ok if I just send them a mass message stating that I will be getting married and while I wish I could celebrate with everyone long distance we decided to keep it very small.  I just don't want wedding photos popping up all over facebook and them finding out that way.  What do you think?
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Re: Wording ideas for "the rest not invited" to ceremony/reception? help please

  • ivyrose13ivyrose13 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    It is never polite to tell someone they are not invited. The correct thing to do is send out invitations to those that are invited, and mail out wedding announcements after your wedding to those that are not invited. If anyone asks why they were not invited, simply explain that you wanted to have a small intimate wedding. 
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  • NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    The proper way is to send a formal announcement. That's pretty old school now, however, so I would put my own FB picture on pretty quickly. Let them hear it from you first. Good luck!
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    There is nothing wrong with having a small, intimate wedding.  Send out invites to those that you want there and then send out wedding announcements to family and friends after the fact.

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  • jessyrez27jessyrez27 member
    First Comment
    Thanks ladies.   I will do the wedding announcements to the rest after the wedding.  I appreciate your help.
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  • TerriHuggTerriHugg member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I don't think there is a need for you to send everyone a message saying you won't invite certain people. Just send the invites to those who are invited and leave off the ones who are not. Should someone who is not invited ask, just tell them you are keeping it very small and only plan to invite immediate family. That should suffice. 

    I don't understand the dynamics of your family, but I'm willing to bet your those not invited will find out about your wedding through the grapevine. There's always some uncle or sister who somehow runs into said non-invited cousin to tell the news (which I think is better than finding out on FAcebook as you suggested.) 

    You could also think about putting an engagement/wedding announcement in the paper so they can find out that way. 

    And I hate random pictures of myself/wedding on Facebook too. What I did was got a special wedding album that pictures could automatically be uploaded to. It was only accessible by wedding guests so that helped keep photos off Facebook. 
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  • LDubHawksFanLDubHawksFan member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    This is so not what I thought this thread was going to be!

    Op announcements will be great in this situation.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Send an announcement to those not invited after the wedding.  But don't bring it up beforehand.  That would be terribly insulting to anyone you chose to tell-and trying to be "cute" about it would just compound the offense.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    jessyrez27 said:

    Thanks ladies.   I will do the wedding announcements to the rest after the wedding.  I appreciate your help.

    I'm glad you're going this route.

    FWIW, if I'm not terribly close to someone, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest to find out they were married by their wedding pictures up online.
    I hope this helps a bit more!
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