Babysitter at the Wedding

[Deleted User] · September 2013

For our wedding, the reception location we chose agreed that we can use the bridal house as a babysitting area after the ceremony. We were going to ask one or two people to stay in the house and babysit those that are attending the wedding's children if they choose (as an option). Providing snacks, activities etc. and the parent's peace of mind knowing their kids are there but they can still have a good time without having to babysit them. It is probably 20 feet from the reception area. Should I include a small piece of paper in the invitation that states this? How should I provide this information to them?

banana468 · September 2013

If this is something that you're offering I'd include it on an insert card and I'd as guests to include on their response card if they will be using the babysitter services offered.

Dreamergirl8812 · September 2013

IgorAmber said:

For our wedding, the reception location we chose agreed that we can use the bridal house as a babysitting area after the ceremony. We were going to ask one or two people to stay in the house and babysit those that are attending the wedding's children if they choose (as an option). Providing snacks, activities etc. and the parent's peace of mind knowing their kids are there but they can still have a good time without having to babysit them. It is probably 20 feet from the reception area. Should I include a small piece of paper in the invitation that states this? How should I provide this information to them?

What? Who's actually doing the babysitting?

Majelin86 · September 2013

Speaking of babysitters at weddings...I have a question also:

My fiancé's cousin had a baby at the end of August. Her and her husband are staying at the hotel that our wedding is at on the night of the wedding. The cousin's husband's mom is coming along to take care of the baby while the ceremony & reception are going on and staying in the hotel afterwards also. My fiancé's mom asked us if we could provide dinner for the babysitter, even though she isn't attending the wedding or reception (wasn't invited). Fiance's mom wanted us to invite her for the dinner portion (but then who would take care of the baby?). They are coming from about 3 hrs away to attend the wedding. Any thoughts on what I should do?

doeydo · September 2013

"Majelin86 said: Speaking of babysitters at weddings...I have a question also:My fiancé's cousin had a baby at the end of August. Her and her husband are staying at the hotel that our wedding is at on the night of the wedding. The cousin's husband's mom is coming along to take care of the baby while the ceremony & reception are going on and staying in the hotel afterwards also. My fiancé's mom asked us if we could provide dinner for the babysitter, even though she isn't attending the wedding or reception (wasn't invited). Fiance's mom wanted us to invite her for the dinner portion (but then who would take care of the baby?). They are coming from about 3 hrs away to attend the wedding. Any thoughts on what I should do?"
I don't think you don't have to do anything for a babysitter. The mother or father of the child should make their own arrangements. ETA typo

[Deleted User] · September 2013

A family member or family friend who would be willing to (not a stranger).

photokitty · September 2013

Majelin86 said:

Speaking of babysitters at weddings...I have a question also:
My fiancé's cousin had a baby at the end of August. Her and her husband are staying at the hotel that our wedding is at on the night of the wedding. The cousin's husband's mom is coming along to take care of the baby while the ceremony & reception are going on and staying in the hotel afterwards also. My fiancé's mom asked us if we could provide dinner for the babysitter, even though she isn't attending the wedding or reception (wasn't invited). Fiance's mom wanted us to invite her for the dinner portion (but then who would take care of the baby?). They are coming from about 3 hrs away to attend the wedding. Any thoughts on what I should do?

Maybe she wants you to organize a box dinner or something to be delivered? Will she be able to leave to get food or does the hotel have food on site? If she came to dinner to eat I would list her as a vendor and not pay for her alcohol - she shouldn't have any since she is working. Maybe they want the baby to be at the reception for a little bit so people can see him? I'd ask your FMIL for more clarification.

But you're under no obligation to invite or provide a meal for the babysitter.

GL!

tammym1001 · September 2013

IgorAmber said:

A family member or family friend who would be willing to (not a stranger).

So you're going to ask a family member to come to your ceremony and then miss the reception so that they can take care of other people's kids? This is so very not ok. If you want to have a babysitter available then you need to hire someone.

Majelin86 · September 2013

photokitty said:

Majelin86 said:

Speaking of babysitters at weddings...I have a question also:
My fiancé's cousin had a baby at the end of August. Her and her husband are staying at the hotel that our wedding is at on the night of the wedding. The cousin's husband's mom is coming along to take care of the baby while the ceremony & reception are going on and staying in the hotel afterwards also. My fiancé's mom asked us if we could provide dinner for the babysitter, even though she isn't attending the wedding or reception (wasn't invited). Fiance's mom wanted us to invite her for the dinner portion (but then who would take care of the baby?). They are coming from about 3 hrs away to attend the wedding. Any thoughts on what I should do?

Maybe she wants you to organize a box dinner or something to be delivered? Will she be able to leave to get food or does the hotel have food on site? If she came to dinner to eat I would list her as a vendor and not pay for her alcohol - she shouldn't have any since she is working. Maybe they want the baby to be at the reception for a little bit so people can see him? I'd ask your FMIL for more clarification.

But you're under no obligation to invite or provide a meal for the babysitter.
GL!

I don't mind the cousin bringing a plate of food from our dinner (it's buffet) up to her room for her. The thing is - we don't really know her as she's just the mom of my fiancé's cousin's husband. We didn't invite her to the wedding and she's coming along strictly to take care of the baby (it's a no-kids wedding). I just don't really want to have her seated at the dinner because that'll probably be an extra cost for us (whereas I'm sure we could sneak a plate up to her for free). Our sister-in-law's sister is coming to take care of her baby during the ceremony & reception - does that mean we'd have to invite her to our dinner, and also our friend's parents will be taking care of their baby during the wedding - does that mean we'd have to invite them to our dinner? It just doesn't make sense to me...

JoanE2012 · September 2013

Majelin - You should've really started your own thread instead of hijacking this one. It's going to get confusing as to who's responding to which question.

OP - I'd strongly reconsider asking family or friends to work your wedding. They may feel bad or obligated to say yes. Let them enjoy your wedding!

Majelin86 · September 2013

JoanE2012 said:

Majelin - You should've really started your own thread instead of hijacking this one. It's going to get confusing as to who's responding to which question.

OP - I'd strongly reconsider asking family or friends to work your wedding. They may feel bad or obligated to say yes. Let them enjoy your wedding!

Sorry! I just figured while we were on the topic of babysitters :S

photokitty · September 2013

Majelin86 said:

JoanE2012 said:

Majelin - You should've really started your own thread instead of hijacking this one. It's going to get confusing as to who's responding to which question.

OP - I'd strongly reconsider asking family or friends to work your wedding. They may feel bad or obligated to say yes. Let them enjoy your wedding!

Sorry! I just figured while we were on the topic of babysitters :S

Yep I was confused...thought it was the same poster.

But still to answer you. You don't have to provide food for anyone's babysitter. Your MIL is welcome to arrange for food for them if she wishes. Sneaking food up is your call, but I can't in good conscience encourage you to do this, sorry :-)

gm5 · September 2013

@IgorAmber - I would put a card in the invitation stating "Babysitting Provided" with the location, start and end time and cost (though I'm hoping you're footing the bill for this, and i'm thinking you are since you were nice enough to think about it in the first place). You know who you asked to be the babysitter best, and I'm guessing it wasn't someone you were going to invite to the wedding anyway, but someone you trust to watch others children. Yeah to you for being so considerate.

@Majelin86 - it was confusing, and not polite to IgorAmber that you highjacked her question, but that aside. I think i'd feel a little strange having my fiance's mother ask me to provide dinner for a cousin's husband Mom who came for the sole purpose of babysitting and wasn't invited to the wedding to begin with. I'd buy her plate, have MIL-to-be figure out how to get it to her and move on.

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