Seating Chart Frustration

simplykayla · September 2013

This seating chart nonsense is making my head spin!
I've tried every combination of people I can think of, and it's just not working.

My parents are divorced, and they are both remarried. While my parents are on friendly terms, my mom's best friend will also be there, and she has bad history with my dad and stepmom, so I can't seat my parents together. FI's parents are divorced, his mom is remarried but his dad is not. His mom's side of the family hates her new husband, and won't go anywhere near either of them. We have about five distinct family "groups" because of this, and just not enough room to split them all up. (52 guests total, at 6 tables with 8-10 chairs each. They're most comfortable at 8 chairs, and it gets to be a squeeze at 10).

And it all makes me want to pull my hair out.
Anyone else having trouble figuring out their seating charts? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Andromeda215 · September 2013

Sounds like my frustrations- we have 62 Guests. My goal is tables of 8, but can do 10, or they can do an oversized 12 top.

I have parents that will be freshly divorced (final this week). My Mom has a large family, with many aunts/uncles/cousins etc. that are attending (over 1/2 my guest list). They aren't on the best of terms with my dad, So I haven't figured out where to sit him. (can't be near them) And my sisters (5 of them) have requested not to sit with him. Then I have my FI's family, there is 6 of them- Mom, her BF, great aunt/uncle, and one cousin/spouse. No idea who to fill that table with, I keep hoping that his mom's other cousin (she only has 2) will respond with a yes.

So, I have those 6- need 2 more to fill that table. And I have my dad- no idea who to put there.

My florist (a good friend) told me to draw names and be done with it.

joellennitsche · September 2013

i have been stressing about the seating chart so i havent even STARTED it. most of my guests are close friends to my family and most of my "family", i put them in quotes because they are my family but i don't consider them that way, were not invited for many reasons. on fi's side his mom and dad are divorced and his mom is remarried. they are friendly but will not be sitting at the same table. his dad is bringing his new girlfriend. his sister and his dad DO NOT talk. they havent seen eachother in years and my nephew who is just over a year has never met his grandfather because of this. i am hoping for no drama and i am super stressed about the seating chart.... also our venue is an old barn so it has an upstairs and a downstairs so immediate family will be downstairs with bridal party and the rest will be upstairs. hoping for no one complaining about being upstairs... it will mostly be the younger crowd coming. and there is a big opening that they can see down to the dance floor and first floor... ugh!! is it over yet?!

SewInLoveWithDMB · September 2013

Oh no! That sounds difficult to please everyone and not fun.

Our count is much larger, so it helps in spreading people out. There are no groups that "can't" sit with each other, but there are people who we imagine would get along better with some rather than others.

Most I was able to figure out myself. I then sat down with my mom to really finalize the rest. I still need to show FI's mom what I have so far, and wouldn't be surprised if some people are switched around 3 or 4 tables. (They will all be among those 3 or 4 tables, but not necessarily at the ones I have them seated at right this moment.) It is his mother's cousins, and I think I got it correctly, but I'm not sure I always sat adult children with their parents and siblings together...I think I did, but as last names change, it's hard to be sure, ya know?

It's a good thing you are starting it now cause you have some time to make it, move things around and keep checking back until you like it. Good luck!

stevelovesmelissa · September 2013

I would love to be able to start my seating chart... 198 invited (which started at 150 invited, but that is another story), less than half of the rsvp's are back, and the due date is Friday. Why didn't I make it 4 weeks out instead of 2

simplykayla · September 2013

Andromeda215 said:

Sounds like my frustrations- we have 62 Guests. My goal is tables of 8, but can do 10, or they can do an oversized 12 top.

I have parents that will be freshly divorced (final this week). My Mom has a large family, with many aunts/uncles/cousins etc. that are attending (over 1/2 my guest list). They aren't on the best of terms with my dad, So I haven't figured out where to sit him. (can't be near them) And my sisters (5 of them) have requested not to sit with him. Then I have my FI's family, there is 6 of them- Mom, her BF, great aunt/uncle, and one cousin/spouse. No idea who to fill that table with, I keep hoping that his mom's other cousin (she only has 2) will respond with a yes.

So, I have those 6- need 2 more to fill that table. And I have my dad- no idea who to put there.

My florist (a good friend) told me to draw names and be done with it.

I like the drawing names idea! Just put them all in a hat and draw at random until you fill up the tables haha. If only it were that easy!

ETA: because for some reason it didn't want to show my text the first time.

simplykayla · September 2013

stevelovesmelissa said:

I would love to be able to start my seating chart... 198 invited (which started at 150 invited, but that is another story), less than half of the rsvp's are back, and the due date is Friday. Why didn't I make it 4 weeks out instead of 2

Less than half? Yikes! We were missing about 15 out of 50. We did our RSVP date 4 weeks out because originally the venue wanted numbers 3 weeks out. Our coordinator later told us that they didn't actually need them until 1-2 weeks, oh well. It was nice having the extra time to find the stragglers and work on this dumb seating chart.

Here's to hoping that you get a bunch of RSVPs back in the next couple of days!

simplykayla · September 2013

Marshmallow22 said:

simplykayla said:

This seating chart nonsense is making my head spin!
I've tried every combination of people I can think of, and it's just not working.

My parents are divorced, and they are both remarried. While my parents are on friendly terms, my mom's best friend will also be there, and she has bad history with my dad and stepmom, so I can't seat my parents together. FI's parents are divorced, his mom is remarried but his dad is not. His mom's side of the family hates her new husband, and won't go anywhere near either of them. We have about five distinct family "groups" because of this, and just not enough room to split them all up. (52 guests total, at 6 tables with 8-10 chairs each. They're most comfortable at 8 chairs, and it gets to be a squeeze at 10).

And it all makes me want to pull my hair out.
Anyone else having trouble figuring out their seating charts? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Oh man. I will be going through this when I start putting the seating chart together next week. My FI's side has TONS of divorces, family feuds, "I'm not sitting near her", and so on and so forth. I don't know how Im going to accommodate all the feuds and spread these people out.

Oy!

All of the family feud nonsense drives me nuts. A couple people from FIs family will not be attending just because his mom and her husband are. I don't get why people can't just be adults for one day! It's even a very short wedding. I swear they're all acting like children. We've been getting the "I'm not sitting near him/her" a lot too.

I'm just seriously hoping it doesn't end up being a repeat of the drama at FSILs wedding.. They all just couldn't shut up about the drama, and it nearly caused an actual fight to break out.

Anumie23 · September 2013

I agree, people should be able to be adults for one day. This day isn't about divorces and past issues between family members. It's all about you and your soon to be husband. Try to be as understanding as you can but when it comes down to it you can not please everyone and concessions will have to be made on your family's part. If they can't put the drama away for a few hours to honor you and your FI then maybe they don't deserve to be a part of such a joyous occasion.

shaylagirl · September 2013

.....and here's another reason for me to be grateful my venue does family style service and only long tables.

Honestly though, my heart goes out to ya'll who have to figure this out. I can't imagine having to deal with mature and grown-ass adults who can't be civil for a single day at an event I'm hosting.

I think I'd end up making the theme of my wedding "Suck It Up, Buttercup" and put buttercups on ALL the damn tables with a lollipop.

rustytammy · September 2013

I've read several posts about seating charts and I just feel bad for you ladies!!! I couldn't imagine having to go through all of that just to try and make everyone happy!!! So glad we are doing apps and mingling!

I agree with @shaylagirl with the "Suck It Up, Buttercup" table!! Love the lollipop idea too! :-)

rkbo · September 2013

@shaylagirl you could always do a centerpiece like this for your buttercup table...

I have it on my kids table, lol

sovawanea · September 2013

Could you put one set of fiance's parents and one set of your parents at the same table with a mix of their family and friends? It would involve splitting up of family groups, but if they really don't like their seat they will probably end up moving around after dinner anyway.

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