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Not sure if we want to attend

CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
in Snarky Brides
I have posted here and there about an upcoming wedding DH and I have been invited to. It's our best mans wedding, and we cannot stand his FI. We have lost touch with him completely over the past year and even before our wedding he was only allowed to see us when his FI was busy/working. She was extremely rude to us in the past when we used to see them, and then spent our whole rehearsal dinner and wedding reception on her phone. However, some of our other friends are begging us to go because they do not want to have to endure her pretty princess (that's how she acts) day alone. DH still doesn't think we should go. He has tried to talk to his old friend but the guy doesn't return calls or texts other than a word here or there. He thinks they have cut the friendship ties already and only invited us for a gift. I think we should go to be nice, and see our other friends. DH thinks we should say no since they do not bother to talk to us and she is just an ass in general. What would you do?
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Re: Not sure if we want to attend

  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you haven't accepted the invitation, I'd decline.  It certainly sounds like his FI wants you to, and if he's ignoring your DH, what's the point?  I'd suggest to your other friends skipping it too and just doing something together that's not this guy's wedding.
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  • gothic_fairy60gothic_fairy60 member
    First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I wouldn't go either. Sounds like fiance is right.
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  • msdds51msdds51 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I don't know if you should go or not, but I don't think they'd spend the money on hosting you and feeding you etc if they just wanted a gift. That seems very unfair to say.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you don't like the bride and you see the friendship fading, I would not attend. It's kind of rude to attend someone's wedding just to get together with other guests (not for the B&G). If you want to see your other friends, plan dinner or a weekend with them. 
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    CowgirlK39 said:
    I have posted here and there about an upcoming wedding DH and I have been invited to. It's our best mans wedding, and we cannot stand his FI. We have lost touch with him completely over the past year and even before our wedding he was only allowed to see us when his FI was busy/working. She was extremely rude to us in the past when we used to see them, and then spent our whole rehearsal dinner and wedding reception on her phone. However, some of our other friends are begging us to go because they do not want to have to endure her pretty princess (that's how she acts) day alone. DH still doesn't think we should go. He has tried to talk to his old friend but the guy doesn't return calls or texts other than a word here or there. He thinks they have cut the friendship ties already and only invited us for a gift. I think we should go to be nice, and see our other friends. DH thinks we should say no since they do not bother to talk to us and she is just an ass in general. What would you do?

    Not that wedding parties are tit-for-tat, but it seems weird that this guy was your husband's Best Man and your husband isn't even a groomsman or at the very least an afterthought to his guy anymore.

    I would still go. But I like weddings in general, and enjoy seeing my other friends.


     

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  • FiancBFiancB member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Personally I think I'd still go but in the end this is your husband's friend (or ex friend?) and it's really up to him. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I'd decline the invite. 
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  • allispainallispain member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I'd decline. If I haven't spoken with/spent time with someone in the past year, I'm not going to their wedding.
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  • CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    FiancB said:
    Personally I think I'd still go but in the end this is your husband's friend (or ex friend?) and it's really up to him. 

    This is what I am struggling with. This was his group of friends from high school and, like most high school friends, they have grown (and physically moved) apart. However, we have noticed that its mostly us getting left out. We see things on Facebook where the group hangs out when everyone is in town, and we do not get asked to join. We aren't jerks, and there was never an arguement or anything. We just noticed that most of this started when this bride came into the group. The girlfriends of the other friends can't stand the bride either, and they are the ones begging us to attend so they have more people to commiserate with. DH is hurt and annoyed by his friends behavior which is why he doesn't want to go. I do not want to go because the bride was rude to us on a number of occasions, and also posted some things online mocking people like me and DH (things like "wow, people who like X Y and Z are white trash" etc). We just are not alike at all and clearly it has affected DHs friendship too.
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  • Grabows14Grabows14 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Name Dropper
    I'm confused, if it's only the bride who doesn't like you, then why aren't you being invited to other activities. If your DH is over it, I would follow his lead.
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  • CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Well we just tried talking about it and still can't decide. DH says he doesn't feel like we have been treated well by his friend, and therefore he doesn't want to go and give a gift to someone who hasn't given us the time of day. I told him I feel like this is friendship ending. How do we face these people if we do see them again? Ugh I still do not know.
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  • KeptInStitchesKeptInStitches member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    All you have to tell the other couple is that unfortunately you had plans. No need for them to know exactly what the plans were.
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