My dad and his "fiance" got "engaged" last year, but are waiting to marry for SIX years so she can get her ex's SS. However, she and my dad just bought a house together and their finances are now combined. My parents agreed to both contribute 5k to the wedding, which is technically 5k of my dad AND his fiance's money, and my mom and her husband's money.
Last night, my dad's fiance FREAKED out when she realized that her parents won't be invited. I have met her parent's TWICE over the past 2 years and they're both drunks (literally, start drinking when they wake up - drunks). I barely know them. My dad's fiance has now thrown in our face that "half of the 5k is her money" and "if we're having the rehearsal dinner at their house, she demands her parent's are invited." We obviously have a small budget, if we go over a certain number of guests, we have to pay more for the venue and the caterer, and the space is also on the small side so if we added more to our guest list they'd have to separated. I'm also not willing to give up 2 seats for family members or close friends who we KNOW and have impacted our lives, for people we've barely met.
Am I totally out of line? Should we decline their financial help to stay true to having this be OUR day? This is not the first time she's done something like this; she also is incredibly traditional and told us she believes *this* is the way we need to do things. She also freaked out when we spoke about inviting close cousins, saying "if you can invite your cousins, why aren't my parent's invited?!" We've agreed to put them on our B list, to be invited if there's room. But to be honest, there won't be room; we've given up inviting close family and friends to make room for people that absolutely need to be invited.
I'm so flabbergasted by this whole situation, I just don't know what to say. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!