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Changing Wedding Venue Date and Time

Tyragnew1Tyragnew1 member
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in Wedding Etiquette Forum

I have already set up my website and sent save the dates out. My wedding was scheduled to be on November 23, 2013 at my home church unfortunately my Fiancé and I no longer wish to get married at the church. We were inviting guest to the ceremony but having a private reception following. Now we have rented a hall for November 22, 2013 at 8PM both ceremony and reception will be held in the same place. Now, How should I notify the guest even thou we have not sent out formal initiations? Also due to the change we will have to cut down the guest list. How do I tell someone that has already received a save the date that they are no longer invited to the wedding?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

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Re: Changing Wedding Venue Date and Time

  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Tyragnew1 said:

    I have already set up my website and sent save the dates out. My wedding was scheduled to be on November 23, 2013 at my home church unfortunately my Fiancé and I no longer wish to get married at the church. We were inviting guest to the ceremony but having a private reception following. Now we have rented a hall for November 22, 2013 at 8PM both ceremony and reception will be held in the same place. Now, How should I notify the guest even thou we have not sent out formal initiations? Also due to the change we will have to cut down the guest list. How do I tell someone that has already received a save the date that they are no longer invited to the wedding?<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

    You can't cut down your guest list without being seen as incredibly rude, I'm sorry.

    I was "cut" from a guest list once (along with several of my other friends) by a bride and we were all incredibly offended. Most people no longer even talk to that bride.

    Personally call all of your guests and send out your invitations ASAP.

     


     

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  • doeydodoeydo member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    I have already set up my website and sent save the dates out. My wedding was scheduled to be on November 23, 2013 at my home church unfortunately my Fiancé and I no longer wish to get married at the church. We were inviting guest to the ceremony but having a private reception following. Now we have rented a hall for November 22, 2013 at 8PM both ceremony and reception will be held in the same place. Now, How should I notify the guest even thou we have not sent out formal initiations? Also due to the change we will have to cut down the guest list. How do I tell someone that has already received a save the date that they are no longer invited to the wedding?
    I can't get out of the box.  Firstly, call your guests right away to let them now of the date and location change.  Also, you can't send someone a STD and perhaps an invite, since you said they were already sent, and the retract your invite.  That is extremely rude.  Either invite everyone to your new venue, or change the location, again, to one that can hold all your guests.

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  • Kate61487Kate61487 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker

    Wait.. you sent out save the dates... for what?  for people to come to your ceremony only?

     

    Anyone who was sent a save the date should be invited to the wedding (even if it's now the day before) unless you scrap the wedding altogether and elope.  Anyone you sent a STD who is now not on the guest list would be completely validated in being hurt and offended.  I recommend you revise your reception plan to accommodate ALL the guests you sent STDs to.  At 8pm you don't need to serve a full meal so this should be easy - have cake and punch and add on apps/snacks as you're able given your budget.

     

    Then contact everyone in some way to let them know the date change.  This can be another STD-ish mailing (a post card stating "the wedding of Tyra and FI will now take place on Nov 22") or phone calls or emails.

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  • Tyragnew1Tyragnew1 member
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    Thank you
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  • Tyragnew1Tyragnew1 member
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    Thank you
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  • Tyragnew1Tyragnew1 member
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    Thank you
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    You need to call people immediately to let them know the date change.  If your wedding is in less than 2 months your invitations should be going out ASAP anyway, but people need to know in case they're making transportation and lodging reservations.  You cannot uninvite people; that would make you a super douche. 



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  • Tyragnew1Tyragnew1 member
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    it was just the save the date never the formal invite

     

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  • misshart00misshart00 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its

    A save the date is a guaranteed invitation, so you need to still invite those who received one.

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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
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    Tyragnew1 said:

    it was just the save the date never the formal invite

     

    That doesn't matter at all.



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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    1. You don't notify anyone they are no longer invited, because they all need to be invited.

    2. Just send out your invites now- it's what, 9 weeks away?
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  • daveANDkristendaveANDkristen member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its First Comment

    Anyone who attends your ceremony needs to be hosted afterwards, at least for refreshments (cake and punch or that sort of thing is fine as long as the event is not taking place at a meal time).  Please figure out a way to host something following your cermony that all of your guests can attend.

    Anyone who received a save-the-date needs to receive an invitation.  Otherwise you are going to have a lot of hurt feelings. 

    Why do you have to cut your guest list?  Tell us about your wedding.  And if you want to respond to a particular post, click "Quote" underneath that post.  Then you will type your response underneath the quote in the Leave a Reply box.

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  • dramamonkeydramamonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    I agree with the PP who said you should go ahead and send out your invites. You're now 2 months away! My wedding is 11/24 and I sent my invites out a couple of weeks ago (but we have a lot of OOT guests). 

    It wouldn't hurt to call, too, to let people know of the big change. 

    STD = invitations. No question about it. 
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  • MGPMGP member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited September 2013
    This trend of ceremony but no reception invites or "come at the end of the reception" invites makes me want to poke my eyes out.  Why does anyone think this is OK?  I would a thousand times over rather be cut from the guest list than be put on the B list or the "everyone else" list.  Rude, rude, rude!!!

    OP - to be a proper host you need to send invites to all who received STD's.  Invite them to the ceremony AND the reception.  Do NOT un invite anyone either.  Host with food, drink, and don't make them pay for anything.  

    If your budget does not allow you to do this, please do the right thing and just elope.  Anything less risks you offending and hurting people who care about you, even if they won't tell you to your face.  You ALWAYS have the option of doing the right thing, even if it means being an adult and making some hard decisions and sacrifices.

    Just a side note - date changes aren't the end of the world.  My brother and sister in law had to do it when their venue shut down.  Moving it to a Friday gave them a higher decline rate and actually ended up upgrading food and drink and came in under budget.  Win win!
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  • ceceibsonceceibson member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    I didn't understand the OP at all until I read some of the comments.

    Good grief!  You send an invitation to every single person who received a STD and every single one of them is invited to your ceremony and your properly-hosted reception.  It's that simple.

    As for the question, what do to about time, date or other changes:

    We sent out STDs about 8 months out for our destination wedding.  The date was to be August 4.  We then learned that there were absolutely no hotel rooms available in the wedding town on that weekend.

    So, I did what I should have done the first time.  I reserved blocks of rooms at 4 hotels.  Then I had new STDs printed.  They said something like "Save the Date [again].  The wedding of ___ and _____ will now take place on August 18", followed by "Blocks of rooms have been reserved at_______________."

    Every single person who got an August 4 STD got an August 18 STD.  Then they all got invitations.
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